Music Of My Life, I'm In Heaven...

2009-06-09T00:37:00.001+08:00

The cow has moved to the other side of the grass. U can locate that blob at http://milkthatcow.wordpress.com/.

Xmas Post

2008-12-28T17:09:00.004+08:00

Different pple appreciate different festive occasions, and i for one, really fancy christmas alot. hahaha. I love the idea of giving and sharing what u have with others and all. Also, i DO count the 12 days of christmas, altho' it eats into my sch reopening (shucks) and things like tt. haha.

Went to kallang leisure park for dinner @ koufu and ice skate on xmas eve. Had creamy chicken pasta for dinner (for the western cuisine feel) and ice skate (to replace the frosty winter). haha. it was overall v fun as long as the company is enthu. haha. Nice.

Decided to save some money so decided to potluck @ my place on xmas day itself. Finally had Mac's breakkie again! And made sandwiches and salad. We all brought nice simple food and played many games, including games like eno stacko...monopoly world edition (i won twice in a row!), finger twister etc etc. haha..v v fun. Nice.

Heard the news of old clubhse tearing down some time ago, and i felt nth. Yest, I was reminded tt family concert was today and suddenly it struck me tt i wanna go down and have a last look of it. I wanna go down and watch the concert and be able to walk back a familiar path down Lt26, across the convention hall, and back to an old creaking door at level 2 of blk 72, a place where i used to hang out practically everyday in my poly days.

We 1st saw Ian at the LT greeting us, giving out phamplets. Felt abit diao-ed actually but this old scene somehow started the nite cos he was always there for my performances altho' we aren't v appreciative souls when we were under him back then. haha. Sat with like 3 rows of old nps-ians. Read thru' the song list and boy was i surprised tt i've played 9/15 songs tt they are gonna play. Scanned acrossed the room and no sign of Alex. sighz. Watched the 1st half of the performance and was disappointed as before. I promised to give NPS 2 chances to redeem themselves cos i was a nobody once and NPS accepted me and made part of who i m today and i will remb tt. it was when many fascinating things got started. It was then i realised they kept repeating our old songs cos the juniors lacked the music knowledge and skills. Thus, they kept repeating our repertoire cos no one introduced to them OTHER songs. Luckily, valerie and shah who were the emcees made up for it. Thumbs up to their slapsticks who made the atmosphere livelier.

After intermission, i saw a white pure, rounded figure and my heart pounded. Alex came. Was he prepared for the better show? Cos, the 2nd half of the performance got better. haha. However, a strange thing, he wasnt really a guest. Perhaps he wanted to be unknown. He was sitting with no one. At a corner of the LT alone. He cheered on every song. So far, we have seen nps drifting away from us and juniors who nv came to mix and blend with seniors. On the other side of the coin, things may not be so as i saw today. The ending few songs were mixed with singing and it was great. The song was simple, the singing was good, and the audience were smiling. NPS performers went on stage tgr and swayed and sang and clapped. From the corner, I saw Alex clapping on every beat happily with them. He was really enjoying. That old man, our very old man, was really enjoying every second of this song. I've heard tt he retired from many places but his heart was still here. Somehow to me, at that split second, i knew tt at least the nps spirit is still living on well. What we all wanted, was the never failing bonds btw nps members. We are a family and we shld be one. Altho' things may nt be as glorious or successful as we made it to be when we were members, it doesn't really matter to many, at least not to our v own benefactor Alex, cos he gave us the drive to start our beautiful stories which became wonderful memories, and what he wanted to see in return, apart from aspiring guitarists, was only pure good old fashioned friendships and bonds between every single nps peep. What he wanted was their pure love for music, and friends.

The only thing tt i was abit heartbroken was tt, i saw Alex sitting at the corner alone, and when the concert ended, he was v v v glad to see the enthu club members cheering still, but he slipped away ALONE. No one saw him leaving and he left the club to enjoy whilst he took his leave. Perhaps the newer batch may never understand our love for our old man, cos he was nv too close to them due to health or time committment problem, but he's significance shld nv have been erased nor blurred.

What i see now may nt be a very competitive and successful way to build a club, but the future is all in their hands. As long as the spirit nv dies, i believe things will get better, and i hope they do, regardless whether or not i m still actively updated of the club. haha...I just know i m proud to be an ex-Ngee Ann Poly Strings & Guitar Ensemble member, and always will be. I went back too with some others to take some photos be4 the clubhse's gone and to our fav. old hangout, Alameen for dinner. All this, i will treasure dearly forever. =P

2008-12-23T16:01:00.003+08:00

Holidays are meant for us to catch up with old pals, have good rests, and enjoy the festive occasions that happen to fall in that period. This time round, i really got the privilege to do just that and it feels good. I m gonna be a good kid and try to get a job the next long hols but this time, take it as a break ba. haha...

This tao huay night was quite cool. Went to rochor's famous tau huay stall to have supper. ordered hot beancurd, doughstick, and cold beancurd drink. i couldn't finish cos i cant really eat tt much but this long aim is finally accomplished as i said i wanted to eat this for a v long time. nice...

Chalet was overall quite fun too lar. There were hiccups here and there but thx for the pple who organised this chalet too. it was a nice meetup for many actually. Happy birthday too to all the dec babies. may u grow wise and smarter, prettier or more handsome as the days go by.

Another long awaited prawning trip came true. Went with few nps peeps and my sec sch pals. it was nice too. nps peeps made it really cool as it was a mini celebration for weiling's bday. sec sch pals really gave me a sense of warmth again as we chat abt many stuffs that we once had and it gave a new sense of comeback as we haven't had such chance since years back as now everyone is either busy, flying everywhere, or working. haha. thx dearies.

M02 peeps are not forgotten as well. Managed to squeeze a dinner cum settlers' trip last min and glad u few could all come. thx for being so onz. Even tho' it was just a mere few hrs, it was all fun and laughters. thx for being so onz for forfeits too! hahaha...

Last min managed to rush to meet dj and few for ktv pubbing tt nite. Had some fun playing poker cards, dices and hand games. haha..stayed till bout 3am and sang a song like be4 we left when i was slpy and shagged out alr. LOl. in christmas mood alr.

This day, managed to meet ht and jean for dinner after doing my stuffs too. went to novena to meet and ate yami yogurt! hahah..after which met ht and her hk frens for famous bak kut teh at Balestier cos her frens wanna try it. haha. Miss u all so much. heh heh.

Went out yest for a short xmas outing and it was a tiring day! Went lavender army market, nt knowing its closed on mons =.= so went golden mile and guess wad i found! My old game casettes set!!! My controllers are spoilt and so i cant play them. U noe those mario games and bomber man and stuff. Those games like 10years ago? I found them! At only 20+ bucks. So i bought them. Hurray!!! Haha. went to sentosa for some rides and chillin' at the beach till evening and headed to jp for dinner and shopping~ Bought a pair of branded shoes for sch @ a fantastic deal. And got my 1st xmas pressie! Yeah~ ^^ Wanted to rushed to city hall cotton on but we were too late. So, to end the day, we walked to bugis, had a drink at kfc and reviewed our purchases and headed home. Woohoo. Fantastic day. haha. Got feverish after tt cos i caught the rain but i m not gonna fall sick! I will get well to welcome santa. heh heh.

"merry merry christmas! happy 18th. & happy happy pressies for u~"

2008-12-08T20:20:00.004+08:00

fun activities have just been rushing thru and its cool, its cool!

met many frens for gatherings and all tt i cant recall all my outings alr and only took pics for some.

GE outing to Escape theme park was fun due to the company but the weather just like to make fun of us. haha. the sun was shining so brightly and 5min after we entered escape and took our 1st thrill ride, bham!!! thunder, lighting , heavy rain. luckily we got a bunch of jokers to liven the atmosphere. played most rides, won 2 fluffys, 大大 and 小小 our 1st 2 GE babies. haha. Went to T3 to eat Popeyes for dinner and celebrated Monchee's bday with a new strawberry yogurt cheesecake from secret recipe. Delicious and stuffed man. lOl. Ended the night playing games and all slacking at T1's viewing gallery. =P

Finally decided to go rollerblading after a loooong period and the sun's good too! SO i went and it was fun too! Mr. Sun was also v good to us as it was v v cloudy at first but when we went to blade, the sun came out! HoHO. Haiyo, but I think my skill v lan liao T.T

One of my gluttony days was when I met my sp pal to slack at his place. watched nim's island. had nice ice cream prata at a 24hrs stall in hougang. the teh halia and milo dinosaur also v zan too. the amt they give quite alot yet the price is cheap. so cool. oh on a funny note, we went to eat light dessert awhile b4 tt and a fly lost control due the strong fan speed and drown in my fren's desert. lOl. we ended its life by slamming a spoon of almond jelly on the poor fly. hoho. at nite, our dinner was the white chicken rice and thai fried tofu near his place. quite nice also.

went for a genting trip with my family to celebrate dad's bday. it was v fun too and the fact tt RM expands my pocket purchasing power by 2 compared to SGD makes my day much brighter alr. hoho. Played both outdoor and indoor theme parks and the temp out there is soo cool. its been a while since i've experience such cool weather! haha. did last min shopping and bought 2 tops. went to the Ripleys' musuem and the ktv and their arcade was heaven. So huge and the games ranged from the new games we see at our arcade now to the ones we played last time tt we accumulate tix for toy redemptions. Happy 58th bday dad. hoho.

The next few meetings were so cool cos i also get to meet old pals alr! Went to my sec sch pal's house for steamboat dinner. Wow, tis group the guys always prepared the gathering and we few gals just go and eat. haha. Had a great time chatting and they wanted mj but i wasn't prepared to stay long after dinner so i ren! anyway they got 4 kakhis tt day alr. haha. End up....*drums roll*...i met my pri sch flag eraser pal who came to pick me up and we headed of to east coast to chill!!! Its damn fun lar. Woohoo. Been ages and we still can chat like we are the bestest pals..chat till 3am den we set off home. Haha..it must've been our honesty and sincerity to our friendship tt brought us so far man. Who can guess flag eraser pals can go tis far. Rock on my fren! Oh yar, met dal..sarah and few for dinner too and our hilarious time at the arcade after tt was wonderful too! haha...

Yest went to meet another sec sch pal to do her xmas shopping and it was like a 1 man show lor. =.= I was walking ard, shopping like v high den she v sian..like duno wad to buy. No wonder ask me out to help her. Luckily my high-ness influenced her to be more enthu after awhile. but phew was it tiring. haha...i bought my xmas cards too! must start writing soon liao. We separated in the evening and met him for dinner after jalan-ing, we decided to go minds cafe to try out and......*another drums roll* sotong was there; to scare us. I was laughing after tt cos she stood outside the place staring at us and he commented tt it was normal cos between us was the glass walls and it seemed like we are watching sotong in a tank. hur hur hur.

all these hoo-hah and frequent outing gave my cells a scare i think. so i was down for a slight fever and sore throat now. Boohoo. but i still needa go out and get some stuffs...so down the pills if needed and u germs get away from me! its a festive occasion!

2008-11-26T01:35:00.003+08:00

Holz been fun.

Sat was a surprise combo. yang, alvin and jon came over my place. Its like wow! haha...alvin came earliest..yang cabbed here so forgave him, but tt lousy jon, he was...2.5hrs late!!! See hw guys can drag their time more than girls? He's lucky its at my place and its holz now. lol. Played dai dee...watched tv..had dinner and mahjong! haha...it was a new combination too. haha..tot it wud be weird but hoho..lotsa jokes and laughter. Heng heard the combo and said yang and i bully the 2 lor..but no lor..2nd round jon's power showed lor. Lol. Overall no nett lost. LOl. They stayed till 2+am and yang wanted to psycho me to cont at his place cos he wanted to watch soccer but i refused cos i've got family lunch next day. So conclusion? We went down mac to chit-chat till 4+am den they cabbed to his place to slack further while i went hm. HoHO.

Sun was a mini busy day. Went to eat lunch, den to gran's hse. Been a long time since i've visited. She looks much stronger and healthier now. Hai, the whole yr was a tough yr for my aunties who took care of her. She has been frequently ICU and the tows from the routine tired all of them out. Luckily she was blessed to be better. Watched some tv with her, spoke to her with my broken cantonese and kinda stared out at the sea for a long time (their place was near east coast). Went home to rest for 30min and heng weiling and cong came for mj! haha..played for quite a while den heng say we were quite quiet and i tot we were quite ok. Think all the jokes at the mj table ran out after 2 days. Lol. but it was ok lar...nt total silence..just occasional silence. We hav 1 mth to make things rite! hhahahahahah...it was my lucky day, won quite alot. hoho.

Then yest went to shop for some essentials. bought my 2009 diary! Woohoo. my secretary. its so impt. den...repaired my old watch and bought a new one for 5 bucks at bugis street. haha..and bought a new backpack. hehe...guess wad, its purple again. lOl. the shop uncle was like, u like happy bags huh. i was like, y? and he say cos its purple ma... maybe he meant it was gay...and gay = happy. hope it will last my hostel life for more than a yr? haha..bought my white musk too. enough for tt day. meant only to go out and have lunch with him and who noes. reach hm and by noon my WHOLE family's back, incl my sis. So we played...erm...yeah..played..and i was forced to watch Saw V online with her. Eww. i could die. i screamed duno how many times. =.= Slpt from 10pm like tt till 5am...cos slpt too much, den woke for an hr plus and went back to slp till 9am today. Pig AGAIN.

Pack 75% of my room till 3pm. wow. and got frustrated when i decided to rest at 3pm and mum came in with MORE junk to ask me to pack from my sis room to my room. and why is tt so? SHE NEEDED THE SPACE. rubbish. den why she can clutter MY space when she wants MORE space. hai. Staying hm also cannot be left in peace. wanted to just stay hm today end up still got pulled out to chill with some ntu buds. haha..Eppy gg back, so we gotta meet for dinner be4 he fly off tml. End up was v fun lar. Only 5 of us today cos it was so last min, like 1.5hrs be4 den decided to meet, but yeah. had dinner + watch quantum of solace. Nv did i imagine i wud watch it but eppy wanna watch and he was the boss today. hahaha...as usual...not my cup of tea. But yeah. LOl...cant wait for Sat with more of 'em. hope it will be super fun. hekhek. *die pocket full of holes*

more more more to come....burn burn burn a hole....bo swee lar...haha...

2008-11-21T23:46:00.006+08:00

Yes. Bless the lord, muack muack muack muack muack. Everythings over. The bad has gone and only good things will come. christmas...outings..shoppings..movies...whatever. u name it, i'll do it. haha.

Brief recap abit on my inspection of my papers: 1 good, 2 average, 1 bad.

1 bad means no time to finish, means duno how to do, and means careless mistakes, altogether. quite disappointed cos i quite like org. chem. its so like grasp-able? is there even such a word? haha..but the methods are so vast tt my knowledge isn't well manipulated i guess. T.T on the brighter side, the 1 quite well done may give my results a hope of a good grade. however, its nt my core mod. its bio. always makes me wonder if this is the course i shld really take after such things happen. Bio is like my forte, my strength, seen it thru' my poly course, which nv really failed me. I m in Chem now, which gives me panick attacks every single time i take a paper or read abt it. Shld we ever just breeze thru' life, or shld we
take a wrong path and make it right? The forever lamenting me seemed to have chosen the latter and trying hard now to create my own sparks.

2 mediocre papers. my crime paper + my inorg. chem. crime paper too many readings too little effort to it. I tot i could breeze thru my ss paper with my crap, but the readings can mount to a hill. Hand-picked 1 qn and wham, bull's eye. Heng. But other sections v cui. my inorg. chem duno wad to say also. Everyone thinks its ok, i think its sucky. Its nt hard, its jus nt my interest. same like sth i've taken in poly. Everyone tot it was fine. I disliked the mod, the learnings and the lecturer. And my hatred got the better of me, i scored a C for tt. LOl. It better nt be e same for this..or else..^&$^%%@^. ha..

On another note, went to barney's bday in btw my finals. Happening as usual, that party boy. Made a night event with his frens, snacks, booze and happening music. It was fun overall. U GOTTA call me UR pal when i risk it all to come and rock my nite away instead of swimming in my books lar! and u made me do it twice in a row, last yr and this yr! U darn purple thang! haha. Didn't managed to get u to do all the forfeits cos u were sooo busy and in a half-drunk state but its orite, i had my fun. how can we let u off so easily without playing pranks rite? I noe u enjoyed it too. haha.. Happy 21st. tw, i love ur dad and his baby disco balls idea. Lol.

Currently, I m enjoying the freedom i've regained. haha. BUt i m savoring it slowly, bit by bit. I dun wanna party all at 1 shot and kill my zest as well as my pocket. lOl. Ended for 3 days alr, and i've been tasting every moment of it and its sweet. heh heh.

Wed after finals in the noon i went to chill with sch-mate, enjoying slow walks in city hall and finally resting our feet at coffee bean..chatting of nothings is best when u have a nice companion ard actually. haha..Then had dinner with her and him..chatted awhile more, den back home. Decided to spend my ever 1st time with my family. Watched tv and listen to them talk for quite awhile, catched up with my xing guangs and dance shows den slp. Nice
bed. Loving it. And i SLEPT TILL 1pm. ok, i slpt ard 5am. BUT..i was a pig. haha..did some packing, and made some desserts for family and all. hehe. it was heavenly tasting but terribling sinful. lOl.

WhaT say u with double-layered choc cake and mango puddings and choc almond biscuits?

Today i went to the national musuem!!! Sounds boring? NAh, u all shld be more CULTURED baby and dive into the artistry unit for a second baby. Come breathe the air of the Arts and u will noe wad i'm talking abt. Its uber fun. The fun thing is also u get to enjoy lotsa areas of art, and the technology is making things so smooth tt u can just go ALONE cos u have personal guided tours. Come try it urself. Woohoo. share some interesting ones here.

Luggages...Jailbirds..birdcages..bicycles..and cute spects..sounds fun to run!

Check out what "he" saw from tt peephole?
Saw my surname? and sexy vespa...

An exhibit abt still life. Recording STILl images from LIVE moving pple and creatures. Some creepy some excellent. See e man breathing in operation, man devouring raw meat, live panther and sexy brad pitt in his assassin's abs.

Random pics too. ANd yes, the chairs on ur top right are tilted. Smooth baby i got dizzy.

There are light plans tml too soo.....stay tuned. hehe...i m abso-freakin-lutely loving it. =pPp

"Yes indeed happy 17th, or i may think so. =) "

2008-11-12T00:41:00.003+08:00

2 days to horror.

y are the topics all so tough. i wanna suck my notes dry, inside out, upside down, burn it up and drink it, or whatever, just let it fuse in me.

syndromes of stress creeping in:

1. woke up to sweep, mop, clean, pack hostel room + washing of clothes and bedsheets. (again)

2. tried clicking on my mouse to flip the page of my notes on paper.

3. multiple trips to the toilet.

4. spontaneous slp attacks

5. hunger pangs at un-human time

6. panick attacks every now and then

reasons of why my tolerance running low for my hall-residents:

1. inconsiderate daily mahjong sessions till over 4am in the morning (when its BLOODY exam period now)

2. inconsiderate daily screaming and shouting across corriders till wee hrs

3. inconsiderate frequent blasting of tv from the rooms

4. inconsiderate bunking of their frens of opposite sex in their rooms (occasional is fine, but its often)

5. ill-disciplined JCRC comm that creates hall disorganisation

current plans after exams (more to be added) :

1. dive back into guitar

2. recommit to "theme hospital" or try "spore"

3. colour and highlight my hair (my hair has been black since be4 exams which is nt me)

4. send my 1st guitar husband for repair (the bridge flew apart)

5. meet up with frens + get involved in some activities

6. go genting to celebrate dad's bday

7. catch up with the world

i doubt i m gonna work. holiday is too short. suffered too much. but how to survive without cash?

By the way, i know many of u peeps out there are having ur november birthdays soon but it falls ALL along my exam dates (damn). Hereby wishing u all a big fat happy birthday k. Have a smashing celebration~

"i just wanna play my music all night long"

2008-11-10T00:41:00.011+08:00

sleepyhead just gotta get going.
sleepyhead just gotta get going.
sleepyhead just gotta get going.

3 days to finals. i m in 60% mode only. Mugging with friends in hall give me motivation but desperation too. Cos' they are doing past yr papers whilst I'm reading thru notes of the 1st time even. Its hilarious to study with them. I do stupid things too. DUnno if i can show the clips here i try. Superdumb.

These are a few pics to show my boredom...

Some room in school trying to mug and doing stupid stuff

And some videos...

Video 1: Poking teasers

Video 2: Opening marshmallows. V dumb (must tilt head)

Video 3: Me poking pple

Video 4: Silly influence

I m stressed yes. That is a statement, a fact, a truth. Its not fully shown yet. Wait till next wk when my teeth grow out. My papers are on 13th, 17th and 19th Dec. 2, 1, 1 papers per day respectively. Don't disturb me then. AFTER tt, heh, looking forward. my parents just came back from a 2D1N kelong thingy..like not too bad...who wanna go with me? quite cheap, quite an experience, if go..i want 3D2N. think travel lodging and food all included, less than 200? den got some special optional tours like fireflys. mushroomy farm and crabbing or wad...haha. actually now exam dampen my mood but yar..jus mentioning 1st. ha.

THey bought crabs and fish..damn fresh! Had chilli crab and sambal fish for dinner. really yummy. But cholestrol ar..haha..Becos they went away, i was home alone. So i did wad a filial daughter would do. I started going crazy in the middle of the night. so i mopped the floor and clean the stuff at 4am. Then awhile later when to slp. Next day...went to make my meal..water the plants..wash clothes, iron clothes..boil water..LOl. so the seafood treat was worth it for them huh. hah. i had a bad headache just now. wanted to eat panadol, end up after tt till now feel so giddy and i suddenly get it. i ate my dad's sugar control medi by mistake. And its a bloody 850mg per tablet dosage. I m so gonna puke now...and i drank chinese tea...dunghead. gonna get my carbon cubes to save me if i feel my bp or glucose lvl running too low. Stupid. lol. in hall now anyway, felt too comfy at home.

OK...gonna read thru' abit before deciding shld i pop carbon pills and go to bed.

*Pls. pardon me for the repetitive images of the vid, i'm lazy to correct it.

Gone with the exams, my book just had to slam.
Once and for all,
I'd move an inch to let things fall.

Creeping near the wall,
ears stick through the pores,
they hear the passing wind say,
make sure you let the judges pay.

The clock relentlessly ticking,
my heart starts panicking,
Its now one forty-one,
I bet i'm not the only one.

At last to end the night,
I schemed through the last slide,
Ask me for my next desire,
Nothing more but dreaming of my future empire.

2008-10-27T02:52:00.002+08:00

Just bathed and smelling nice and fresh. 滑滑的皮肤, 香香的头发...OoOoo *陶醉* Siao za bor.
Its been such a dreamy sunday. 昏昏沉沉. woke at like 11.30am after i snoozed all my 3 alarms (1 alarm clock + 2 hp alarms), can u believe it? I have been doing it involunteerily as a natural reflex for a couple of times plus today and i m so NOT liking it. Its a dangerous and fatal act. Haha.

Woke finally to start work early but the momentum wasn't there. My horribly hard midterm paper is on tue and i tot i had time to study but the concepts are so hard tt i cant get it. Walked ard my hse, munched on snacks and do all i can to keep myself awake but i still dozed off in the end. Guess how i KNEW i was aslp? I can still laugh while typing this out. 1st time was when i read read read..then realize, eh! How come got storyline of sth exciting..then realised i was dreaming alr. 2nd time was when i was reading then ..how come so dark, no words! Then i realised, HUH..i closed my eyes alr. Finally i succumbed to slpyness and took a nap. >.<

Woke to study nt long den dad asked to go for dinner. FYI, mum went Vietnam for holiday and "cheated" me to go home when i had the intention of staying in hall. went for dinner and came back to finally get so hyper and studied abit. Was getting restless and decided to set disgusting target for myself, which is to only be allowed to bathe AFTER i have done at least page sth sth of my textbook. Yes, it worked, tho' i'm not sure whether or not the info really went into the brain. But STILL. heh heh.

Oh, must mention last sat! Cos i was looking forward to the gathering. Haha. Played mahjong..won a nett profit of $18~ Bwahaha..horoscope guessed right, mini windfall~ hahah..Then the Wii session was hilarious. Ah Zor's cooking was nice and simple and this gathering made up for the looong wk at school. However, half of the winnings ended up in taxi uncle's pocket and i fell aslp soon after i reached home. Lol. BUT, it was still all worth it. Woohoo. More more more!

Eh, i didnt mention tt last last wk after the LSCT reunion I went to sing k at party world and to save $, we decided to sing at the open lounge. WAH Seh!!! haha...quite fun and quite an experience. The computer buttons were all different, and we can only change keys at the counter which is so ma fan so end up singing limited songs. Also, becos so many pple walk in and out or stand there and WATCH us sing, we were so afraid to throw face at 1st tt we only picked songs tt we had more confidence in. Hahah..felt so miserable and finally we just like 豁出去 le! Just sang super high songs and just didnt care when we sang outta tune. lOl.Definitely a good place to 壮胆 and train to perfection man, the judges are the passer-bys. hahA.

Anyway, tml's Deepavali. HoHo. Happy Holidays for those who can afford it. I have to camp with my Inorganic textbook. OK, rest enough. Hello textbook....come to mama.

Some pics i promised...

This is LSCT reunion and the open lounge I went to after walking ard in town after lsct reunion..lol...

And YES! Noorin's Bday. Haha. See my less than $10 bucks materials for sabotage plan. lOl. The lovely cake personally made by SHEENA. Blueberry cake+mayo+curry+chilli+wasabi+choc! Our Happy pic before the sabotage and game time...hehhehe...

First, jump into the pool in ur skirt and get the balloon and corn inside the pook. Then Burst the balloon UNDERWATER..yeah..noe how tough it is? Hahah..Then read ur 2nd clue. But Oppx! Its wet..so try to decipher it..or do a FORFEIT! HHAha...yeah..OK..smash the watermelons on urself with sound effects..Oooooo. haha..And find ur 2nd clue..to get..tied up at the pillar! Whahah..and its feeding time...smile and eat! If u cant guess rite..eat 1/4 of the WHOLE cake..which u did! hahaah...Then..coke and flour bathing time~

FInally! Time for some REAL CAKE~ (and she was still afriad tt the 2nd cake has mayo coating on it! hahah) Nopez dear, its a REAL cake..but u will..still get smashed. hAHha..Nevertheless, its worth it cos u have got ur SPECIAL us! PLus ur ferrari red jacky manZ! Happy 21st! =)))

2008-10-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

Sorry to all readers out there, i SO didn't know my last update was 7th Sept, which is like...almost 2 mths from now? I Still got the cheek to say SOME pple and i got slammed back here with molds and all already. Retribution. Lol.

Don't really know hw to start my updates alr, but u all can already guess the 4 letter word to describe it all. No, not vulgarities lar. Its B-U-S-Y. Have gotten back my 1st midterm results, some did ok and some did sucky. My brain go against the norm one, the paper that failure rates damn high, i scored ok, the paper that MANY pple easily score 85% and above, i scored v v v badly. pai mia sin (meaning hard life) >.<

then i got a midterm break in btw somewhere in end sept that was burnt by a module tt i had to take, everyday 8+am to 6+pm, with 3huge assg and this 1wk credit unit is equivalent to my 1 sem credit unit. Sucky timing to take tt module, know why? Cos tadah! 2nd round of midterm exams start not long after it. No break at all wor.

However, all work and no play make sheena a dull girl. Thus, Sheena HAS to play and relax! So, I still made it for NPS camp which i jio-ed quite a no. of seniors back (din noe response was so ok) haha..and we had fun talking and slacking. I missed the camps and bonding and i too, am looking forward to e dec chalet. hur hur. Oh, and i returned my fren a BIG 21st bday favour by giving her her combo treatment after she tortured me at my bday last yr. lol. Met up several peeps for dinner and movie and coffee and mahjong too. That's the least i could do and tt's how i squeeze my timing cos i cant afford a whole day out to play! hahah. ACCOMODATE to my FINITE freetime k?!?! haha..

oh i went back NP for LSCT reunion too. Thought it was a big thing, end up it was really more like underestimated food and old school reunion with horrible KIDS performances (bad singing and silly magic tricks). But ok lar. NP gave me great memories, so i shall forgive on that. =P

2nd round of midterm exams are still going on. The papers are DAMN tough. REALLY VERY tough. And the % is high. Dammit. 1 more midterm to go next tue,and then, NO! NO BREAK. FINAL EXAMS. #%$*&% THANKS SCHOOL, FOR THE UNDYING EXAMS THAT IS CONSTANTLY IN MY LIFE. I LOVE IT. >.<

For ur info, i m still kept under control. I still hav more to say, and photos to post. But let this be the prelude to more to come. OK, 11.55pm, study time.

2008-09-07T23:43:00.000+08:00

i cant do my updates fast enough as my time swift by. *groans*

worked at comex '08 for 2.5days selling Toshiba laptops. I must say this new series of lappies seem to be one of good specs and affordable price. Comex was 4 days and i only went down on the 2nd, 3rd half, and 4th day. Nice of boss to allow such arrangements. haha. This was also the 1st time i worked at comex without any usual khakis with me. However, the pple this time round was also fun and cool. Managed to make this experience a blast too.

my 3rd half day leave was due to the fact tt i rushed and squeezed thru massive crowds of pple from Suntec convention to DBS audi for Virtuoso '08. I guess the saying of "台上一分钟,台下十年功" always stayed true. I must say tt i went there to support my frens, but i was disapppointed with the overall. Much more can be done to make it an excellent show. Instead, I saw panicking, frantic situations, loads of waiting time, and cranky light masters. To my frens, thanks for the effort of putting up the show. My support for u all will be there, bt pls do jiayou for the next time k? my loyalty for NPS nv fade becos of my wonderful experience there, so work hard and rock on. Anticipating for a BIG BANG on Virtuoso '09. =P

lab in school has also nv been as pathetic as now. I m v definite that I m going to write an extremely detailed complain letter to my direct Prof. about them. Most of them are just lumps of lard who does nt but create trouble. They make us enter the lab late everytime (we alr have NO time in that 6hr lab), becos they went for breakfast and got in late. Then they themselves are so unfamiliar with the instruments place or procedures that everytime we ask them questions, they either say "Don't know, why not u ask the Blue TA." or "How would i noe?". Then when u make a mistake, they either scold u, making the lab atmosphere an instant toxic one, or they would giggle and laugh at u WITHOUT really helping u to SOLVE or SALVAGE the prob. Every wk they even BOTHER to create a "bad behaviour" list to mark pple who make mistakes but why do they NOT use their freakin brains to think why on earth would we b in such a mess if their presence were USEFUL.

Also, they fancy having lunch ALTOGETHER, meaning 1 or 2 hrs of lab hours u will not see even a shadow of ANY TA, meaning if we were to bomb the lab, they wouldn't even noe. Sometime me and others would even catch them switching off the lights in the supposely TA room to HINT that they are not ard but from aNOTHER corner they are sneaking lunch INTO LAB to EAT (which u r NOT suppose to) and watch tudou.com or youtube.com! An when u knock the door for a favor, they will etiher ignore u, or come out and scold u. WTH. The grumbles can just go on and on and yet, its nt even equivalent to the miseries they gave us. And yet, they are paid $30-$40 an HOUR. Give me tt money and i CAN show u how u shld EARN it the PROPER way.

tml onwards will be my 1st series of midterm tests. stressed. I have alot to catch up, and 1 thing I was happy abt was that performances just keep rolling in but cos its too last min, we always had to do it ourselves. Meaning learn new songs and perform immediately. Tiring, time-consuming and eating up my revision time. Hope things get better. As for midterm, I have to just try.

tml inorganic chem midterm. still having a huge headache on the slides i m reading. wish me luck.

2008-08-25T02:22:00.002+08:00

Went to watched Wall.E on Sat. It was great. Simple and meaningful plot.

On 1 hand, it is a show to warn humans how fragile our Earth is, and how are we actually modernizing for the comfort of mankind yet self-destructing our planet. On the other hand, it shows the humane side of everything, humans, and even robots can experience emotions too. The autopilot technology, space-living, thin growing into fat lumps, and the total virtual communication part are hilarious yet realistic enough. The AI overwhelming humans part are also fake but daunting enough. Nice. An animation worth watching. :)

Today was also the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympics 2008. Splendid and smart. It wasn't too exaggerated yet it still managed to capture the essence of the game spirit and integrate chinese arts into the performance. The opening and closing ceremonies are both an eye-opener for me. This is an example of great fusion. The whole way of presentation by land performance, hanging performance, screen performance also created a sort of full 360 degrees visual and interactive view for the spectators. Great job. I applause the effort. Pple who are interested in the next Olympics in 2012, I think it can be much anticipated as the preview of the London Olympics shown just now also showed that they have got what it takes to be host. haha.

Oh, pardon me for being extra random, Victoria Secrets fashion show has gorgeous models and the aire of the grande baby. haha.

Back to reality, lects and tuts will soon fill my week again. But this wk will be bombastic too. Tuts and lab reports are due as soon as tue. Yet, I will be having many meetings and activities and also, will be working at Comex 2008 at Suntec on 29/8 - 31/8. This means that I will be skipping a day of lesson, and rushing halfway from Comex on Sat to catch NPS Virtuoso. I don't know who's gonna watch it but I still wanna go for it, before my feelings for it fade away. haha...Tell me if anyone of u are gg. hoho.

Aitez. Gonna rest. Just struggled through a short notes-reading. Gotta reach boonlay @ 9am. Need wakey at 6.30am. Ciaoz.

"Reminders turned into smiles and joy. Nice.

2008-08-22T23:48:00.001+08:00

Some pple really can come up with hilarious msn nicks. I was scrolling down the list and reading the nicks of pple when 1 caught my eye.

"I need more mitochondria" - oh come on. haha. I couldn't help but burst out in laughters when I saw the nick. In layman terms, it meant the person needs more energy but as a science std, its really really funny. I moved my cursor to the nick to see who wrote such a comical thing and realised its a school-mate. It made me laughed even harder. Oh boy, NTU really knows how to tire people out.

As far as I know, many of my friends, including me are already sleep and energy deprived. haha. It so happens that its ONLY the 3rd wk or so of school.

School. Welcome wk. Recruitment, Auditions. Lesson plans. Practices. School work is enough to boggle up my brain, less is needed to be said when more apparent things can be seen. I have nt been slping for days. And I admit, yes, that I am nt that young already. My body can't take it. Practically cant focused in class and my days just float by. Crumbling inside while standing out like a girl of steel most of the time.

Give me back my time. Or else, I need more mitochondria.

Back from Tioman!

2008-07-15T01:23:00.005+08:00

BACK FROM TIOMAN TRIP~~~

Yes, the trip's over and its fun. We finally got to gg for this short trip after lots of talking. Haha. Photos are definitely gonna say much more than my talking so here it is.

We had to creep outta bed like wee hours to set off but all u can see are grins on our faces. Partially becos we had quite nice company and the trip became REAL. haha..

We got there finally after a long long ride, to know from a silly uncle that there is basically NOTHING MUCH INTERESTING there, as he quoted. We refused to believe him...so...we created activities! haha..

The snorkel "training" we had earlier was put to good use as we were left to snorkel on our own when we were out at the reefs after that. haha...the fish really tot we were food huh. Horrible fish just nibbled us off as we feed them bread. Lol. But we had lotsa fun. Went to 2 places to snorkel. 1st place we see more corals and small colourful fish. The 2nd place we see HUGE fISH that we re-considered and decided NOT to FEED them cos they snap the food outta u in seconds like pirannas! Can u imagine? and Heartless pals can still attack us by throwing bread near us while we snorkel..U noe who u were man....ROAR. haha.

We went for a speed boat ride to waterfalls and the scenery was FABULOUS. The speedboat was FAST and the feeling is INDESCRIBABLE.LOl. Only to realise that, we were left at the jetty ALONE to FIND a CORRECT TREK to the WATERFALL. haha...cameras entertained us along the way..and we FOUND IT!!! It was SO COOOL.

We had dinner and decided to shop for some stuff over at the mama shops there and there we were with bags of stuff while some who were tv-deprived starred faithfully at the tv that was outside a mama-shop for a v long time...haha..supper was great with small talks happening and of cos the ktv uncle who was ard too. haha..

Final day was good too. Had a sumptous breakkie and started snapping pics after we check-ed out. haha.

Overall, it was a simple but good trip. I wished such trips just could happen again. I think such trips are needed to boost the mood to carry on with life nowadays. hahah...=)

2008-06-30T16:16:00.003+08:00

1 word to describe the latest mood of myself - lazy.

I am lazy to do lots of things. Lazy to move, lazy to walk, lazy to meet, lazy to talk, lazy to shop, lazy to watch, lazy to initiate, lazy to wake, and 100o things more associated to that "L" word. OK, maybe the garfield comics I was into "motivated" me to be the lazy lump I am now. Thus, 老天 decided to work its power on me. I was given unwanted but tasks of no choice to complete. Haha.

Had to do my course registration for next semester last wk and i was forced to move my a** back to hostel n do cos my internet connection at home sucked. So, i did. And...i was forced to look thru a whole list of what i call silly electives cos' some modules i wanted didn't appear in my catalogue. Therefore, I had to look thru' for hours. My registration was 9.30am on a day till 12.30pm. I logged in at 9.31am and with the prepared set of modules for my own planned timetable, i was horrified! Walla! All vacancies showed "O" Big fat zeros only after a min from start of registration. Tadah! Even my CORE modules were gone. =.=

In the end, I spent a full 2hrs to look for REMAINING modules and waited for samaritans to give me pathetic space for my core modules and I just squeezed into the classes with 1 or 2 spacings left. Pfft. haha.

The horrible day came where i had to extract my 2 wisdom teeth, right top and bottom. Half of my face was paralyzed and numbed and I suddenly felt a tinge of sourness when I finally realised how stroke patients feel for the 1st time. I gargled my mouth and the water just spurt out relentlessly cos I cant control the muscles. The sound of the drilling and all were horrible but I tried looking calm and composed thru out. Finally the stitching were done and I was out with a swollen jaw.

It was liquid food for the 1st two days but I guess I was an adventurous person. I started eating rice..beehoon and whatever my mum cooked or bought without hesitating. My main idea was that as long as i shaft the food to the left side it will be fine. Which finally lead me to my doomsday...yesterday, I finally attacked a chicken wing and prata and it backstabbed me by poking my stitch that I howled in pain and tt was it. No more real biting for the day. I went on to eat soup spoon for dinner as well, when i went out later in the evening. OUCH. removing my stitches on thur and its gonna be another day of howling. >.<

Went for Jess bday too. It was fun meeting old sch mates again. Everyone had there lives moving on well and its nice to see the baldies toned up (uh..some of 'em) after the months of ns-hood. haha.

Met up frazzy for movie and lunch too~ its like..FINALLY. too bad the rest of the BG cant go but yup. Watched the movie "wanted" as well. Wow...its really good. Its more of a guy show with cool stunts + sleek cars + totally cool moves. The sound effect is wonderful too. I dun usually fancy such shows but thumbs up for this production man. =)

OK, gg to chinatown to pay for the tioman trip soon~ Yay! NExt wk next wk..i cant wait.

2008-06-22T21:07:00.002+08:00

its e real start of my holidays from now till sch reopens on 4th Aug. haven been up here becos i did most stuffs w/o the use of my lappy nowadays. Getting away from lappy is a good sign. Recent weekends have been spent on baking sessions with sis. Made quite a lump sum of desserts. haha. Made blueberry cheesecake...strawberry shortcake..cookies..brownies..haha. Making is the joy and after tt, i dun really eat it. LOl..pass it all ard my relatives and sis. LOl.

Oh, astro exam was over too. Didn't put in much effort but wad can i say when I still have to pick a pen and study during hols! haha..school is supposed to be out manz. haha..dunno when results are out. And immediately after astro i worked straight at IT fair selling harddisks under harvey. lol..Hectic 4days cos of the crowd and i even lose my voice, till now. lol.

Bought a camera too. Canon ixus 850IS..yay. finally a camera to me and my dad. lol... I must take more pics from now on. yay. Oh..managed to meet some pals up for dinner and all too. yay..holidays are good to meet up frens for updates and chillin sessions! But..i m jobless, poor and slacking my ass off. I m a born workaholic I think. I cant rest for long. lol.

I cant wait for tioman trip. lol...went for 1st short trip to JB yest. nice. Cant wait for tioman..and if lucky...***** trip..hehehe...hope i can go for at least a trip a year with frens..it will be so nice. we start small..and slowly we will expand to other countries k..lol..

daydreaming again. holiday can certainly hallucinate pple huh? haha...

2008-06-05T02:03:00.003+08:00

i m really really really really really, speechless.

today is the release of results for last sem. I heard it from a fren in lect today. I wasn't worked up but defeated internally alr. I was very prepared, for those who understands, really knew how bad it was for me to let high aims go, to steep to such struggling level and now to be ready to retake 2 subjects.

i avoided the tot of checking it at 12am. I went for a short jog, and it was a good thing tt i went out for dinner and have frens for companion all the way till 1+am. But when i returned back to hostel and saw the laptop, i decided to face it all. I tried loading like so many times but the net just go nuts. Thru' out the whole time, i was calm. I was awaiting to see the "U" sign for unsatisfactory just to confirm my predictions altho i hoped for a miracle.

Just when i decided for e last time, my results flashed right at my eyes and i cant digest it. Freaking 6 subjects. I passed it all. Not glamourous at all. But a miracle occurred, i m v v v sure. I thank e lord for it. really. Out of the 6 modules, i only had confidence in 3. The other 3, i failed it all be4 the finals.

My biochem, i failed it and i told my lecturer he wun see me again and i was determined so i was glad it worked out the way i hoped it would. BUT...i nv would have tot. Read my previous exam entries if u want. My maths. I need a freaking 70m just to pass, and i knew i lost more than 20+ cos i didn't finish..My physics...i only did 1 pathetic qn in my paper..1 pathetic 20+ mark qn in my paper...i noe i dun deserve them..but wherever the power came from, it made me pass...My jaw literally dropped. Not becos like how i tot it would be. I tot my jaw would drop cos i failed..but my jaw dropped cos i passed. Ironic? I dun think so, anymore.

Altho my GPA has dropped tremendously..may not even get my honors with such results..but..I m really speechless to see that i passed it all. I duno wad to say. I noe i was an asshole last sem..I made a promise to god, if i m really granted the chance to pass all my modules this sem, i will try my v best next sem..cos i noe wad is hell like here. Its beyond words. Its freaking incredibly horrendous. I will do my v v v v v best. Even if i may nt get to aim as high, i will put in the effort.

Many would have just shake their heads and say sth like, "see i told u alr. u sure can pass de. Ur calibre so high..i dun believe u will fail." But come on...really get to noe wad i m going thru and how i m really feeling and u will noe how pissed i can get if i hear such comments from some pple sometimes. Thanks for thinking i m so capable. Maybe i was, once such a high-flyer, but i m now just a small shrimp for all tt i noe. ha.

i m still in a utter state of shock. U gave this to me, thank u...I will try my best. I will try to fulfil my promise.

U made me believe u exist.

2008-06-03T01:13:00.002+08:00

Sometimes its nv good life being the govt cos no matter what decision u make, u r bound to be bombarded with good and bad comments. For once here, i wish to thank the govt. The govt for implementing sth called, Medisave. I went for my dental appt on sat. Initial idea was to extract a wisdom tooth that was aching and causing my migraine.

Reached there and saw the doctor and he said gently that nt everyone has to extract all 4 wisdom tooth and boy was i relieved. I did my X-rays and less than 10min later, he said, "i think, u have to go with all 4." i yelped once and he laughed and asked if he scared me with his words. And i said, "yeah! u terrified me with the cost i have to pay! darn it."

he examined the X-ray and revealed tt, ok, my top 2 wisdom can be done by normal extraction ($120/each) and the bottom 2 (angled at 45degrees inwards to the adjacent teeth) has to be done by surgery($600/each). WHATTT! Nt considering medicine, MC and wadever misc..GST..its alr..$1420!!! Its killer! I hate the idea of plucking sth out of me and i still have to pay pple for doing tt. Lol.

Tada! Medisave came into picture! My bottom 2 teeth tt requires surgery can be covered by my medisave and it really SAVED me like..1k? Lucky dung, thank the gods man. Nevertheless...the surgery sounds sucky. Wad cutting and flipping of gums..and breaking up of my tooth then taking it out by its fragments..scary. Nvm..we shall see. Appt. on 26/6.

Coming back to the point, what's the morale of this simple story? Be urself and do what u think its rite. There are always 2 sides of things. No matter wad u do, pple always have sth to say. So, as long as u do sth with a clear conscience and u nv let urself down. What's more to care? Heck the world and be urself. love urself. Pple will get it, someday..somehow.

Another side track was how i have a weird family. Lol. I was home for my wkend and i decided to make some..dessert tt my sis likes since she mentioned be4. So..i decided to make brownies/muffins. Then my mum came and roar at me and say no cos i will mess up the kitchen. We like bickered in a car trip for like more than an hour and it went on for like till the next day. I was like..come on lar..ur kitchen is supposed to be utilised and me making sth is what counts. She insisted tt i m wasting money and demanded tt if i really made sth, i must make the no frill cheesecake tt i made awhile ago tt requires no baking or wadsoever. Then i refused and she shouted tt i shld make cos she likes it alot. I noe it was really becos i din have to bake it and it will be less mess as she presumed.

I just went to buy the materials on my own and just went on to bake the muffins and make my caramel pudding. She grumbled and nagged all the way till and i was like tuning on my brain's sheena's fm. Till i finished everything in less than 2 hours plus clean-up then she stopped and i off-ed my brain's stereo. I went rest in my room and only a short while from then, i saw my whole family enjoying the muffins and the caramel pudding i made, happily. I was happy they liked it cos i made it for them since i dun really fancy the gorging of the food but really wanted them to enjoy wad i wanted to make for them. But..my mum changed too fast le bahz. haha..

My sis took a bucketful of muffins back and everyday my parents will eat the muffins and pudding till it was gone. it feels good tt they liked it, but somehow..y the fight in the 1st place rite? haha..Ending note, mum told me just now before i came back to hostel. "make the cheesecake and another type of pudding next wk alrite?"

"ORgh. As long as u pay." I replied and smiled.

"I was blue I know. I was red I know. We can set the rainbow back, we know."

2008-05-30T03:38:00.003+08:00

The text below is purely personal and there shld be no arguments or debates abt it. Its a matter of individual opinion right here.

Duno how long i haven't updated. I have no idea how long my blog stopped sounding personally unstable. But there are bound to be times when we are unsure abt ourselves and the pple ard us. Its the insecurities that we feel and the reassurances that we might need to get pass these dry negative periods...But how many pple actually made the effort to show u that they care?

Some pple expect u to know that they care. Perhaps they have pure, groundless assumptions that if they told u once or they did something that was attentive to u once, u r expected to remb that they were caring be4, are still caring towards u, and will definitely be caring to u still in the near future at least. Is that somewhat...unfair? I believe that occasional gestures or words of reassurances do help to comfort the heart that we still keep the promises that we have with each other, there. And I certainly don't think there is a gender issue discrepancy here as well. One might rebutt by saying that girls need more regular, constant reassurances, cos they are more sensitive, or paranoid in a more negative connotation. I dun deny the fact tt girls in general needs to be more, how to put it, emotionally comforted. But, guys shld admit the fact tt they do feel the insecurities as well, but yet, covered by their pride.

A suggestion to this small controversy? Everyone, do try to practice the 5 languages of love: Words of affirmation, Quality time, Receiving gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical touch. Dun ever think i'll get all mushy on this issue cos its certainly not relating to couples only, but for family, friends and all whom u care. Do give and return the care that is received by u from others.

I've picked up this lil' knowledge from 1st yr in Poly when i did my 1st communication workshop and this was a lil' research i did on my topic. I was glad tt i chose this, cos it taught me life lessons way out of sch curriculum which i would not want to miss out on. Pls. spend a short moment getting to know them, from my humble memory n knowledge that is.

Words of affirmation can be simple statements like, "U look great today", "I m so glad we manage to try this activity out tgr". It shows alot of appreciation and gives alot of verbal encouragement. Its nowhere near superficiality if u really mean what u say. Shy dudes shld come out to the light sometimes cos' kind words nv hurt.

Quality time is really more than mere proximity. It is abt focusing on what u r doing with that person and its really impt. A daily example would be having a peaceful interactive dinner without the abundant use of phone texts and random checking of the phone to see if anyone wants to contact u at the moment. Its really courtesy and respect u have for the person u r with at the moment. It is only when u focus and not have distractions would u engage in meaningful and unforgettable moments. I get turned off too, when pple checks their phones religiously like it somehow seems more impt than me.

Receiving gifts are tokens of appreciation u want to present to someone and they dun need to come by every single day. They dun even need to cost much. It is the attitude that really count. It is nt investing in the money, not least for me, it is investing in the r/s u would like to have with that person. It is, appreciation again.

Acts of service mustn't be left out too. Its doing some service or chores for someone like running an errand, helping with the unpacking of stuff and more. Its random acts of kindness that shld nv be an obligation to me, but shld be a voluntary expression of devotion, care and concern for the person. Its nv meant to be a sacrifice.

Last would be physical touch and its not always dirty and taboo. Its just your physical response out of how u feel towards the person. I dun particularly fancy the overly touchy gestures but hugs, pats, taps, are not illegal, are they? Basically they are physical touch that gives the person security.

I believe that everyone needs a lil' bit of everything in the 5 languages of love, just that we have a fancy for more of some and less of the others. But these 5 languages of love certainly cover the basic idea of appreciating that person regardless who he/she is. As long as u appreciate that person, do show some of these languages cos' these acts goes a long way.

This is tiny life lesson #1 on this blog i supposed. Take care pple and make pple ard u smile cos they have a reason to do so...becos of YOU.

nua-ing in progress

2008-05-19T16:14:00.006+08:00

i've been rolling my cursor over to my blog's link but nv got the heart to blog sth - the effect of hols. hur hur. I have practically been slacking my life away that i dunno how i managed to do that do. I have loads i want to do actually. I want to make use of this hols to get a part time job, look up my old friends, do some sports, get into some mood to learn STH, go to the lib n read some books, practice back guitar etc etc. But, just 力不从心. The IDEA is there though. haha...

Went for my astro lects. Its interesting and i m always amazed by the findings that astro pple make as they unravel the mystery of the universe. ha. The theorys..plato and his nonsense theory that fooled the world for centuries, big bang, the making of stars..planets..moons n their imptance, constellations, rings, and the never-endings. BUT...arghhhh...alot of physics. M i cursed by that. haha. oh, the 1st lecturer was hilarious. His hongkee accent is so strong that he sounded like russell peter's version typical cantonese. And he LOVES lame jokes. I would always laugh for the whole time n shake the row of chairs. Sorry but my laughter is infectious.

Went to plot for franzzy's bday. Went to his condo at night, plotted treasure hunt + dares he must do (easy lar!) and called him down for the surprise. The moment he heard the treasure hunt thing, he whined non-stop. Barney who came all the way frm the west to join us soon whined his way thru since its far too. Isit a trend that all male bakguas whine. Oh come onz...haha. Frans damn shy lar. Ask him approach strangers do stuff also so shy. In the end it turned out WELL lor! and i realised he DUNNO ANYONE from his place at all. Not even smiled at them. Wah raoz. tsk tsk. Unfrenly giant. Bought him some misc stuff + boxing bag and he had to lug back hm after he found it after all e tasks and he WHINED again, but tis time, while walking zig-zag too. I m sorry dude, barney offered help but u wanna be the MAN man. haha. Bought cake as well n his sis n mum came out to share as well. His sis damn zai, so diff. from franz. LOl..so high. lol...went to keppel bay at nite for dinner n chill as well. Nice place with the yacht and all. yea~

Grandma's bday came..mother's day came...so all went out for dinner on several occasions. Broke broke and more broke..bills came as well. argh. haha. No work still.

Last week went out everyday after sch for sec sch pals..which was tiring yet worth it. WEnt out to get a pal's bday pressie...+ dinner with this one pal...and it was fun. I like the pressie we gave~ haha. Then next day went to meet bday gal with this fren for dinner..and k-ing. haha..fun. its been like months since we've met. And its all worth it. The feeling just dun fade away tho we dun meet that often huh. We must rock on...for many many years more to come. hek. Reached back say..3+am that night. haha..Hope we can meet this wk again.

The same night, I recieved my fren's letter via email and..it I had so much emotions that i just broke down. Tried to keep my sound lvl down but i hoped it didn't disturb roomie. The letter made me realised why this pal has been missing out..and altho we are all leading different lives, we really all started to change from the time we parted from sec sch. Things that she went thru' was really hard and it made me ache inside just seeing the words from the mail. I had hard times as well, but we all took it in like a sponge, and it hurts dearly when we see how these horrible times just wear and tear us away. A very happy-go-lucky gal in the past..a jovial n helpful gal...now..a reserved..low-esteemed..person. Where r the beautiful smiles I've seen be4. I noe u r better now...i m too...but I know times can still be better. The song u mentioned, is beautiful, esp when it relates to the few of us. 真挚的友谊最珍贵. 你们让我了解只要都有彼此在心中,友情不会因时间流逝而改变. 谢谢你们...

Met nps peeps for gathering too. For k-ing...for mahjonging. The feelings are nice. I hope our friendship can last as well. I am v open to meeting pple, but, i realised that i would v much prefer to have sincere old pals by my side and hanigng ard them in confort makes me much more at ease than to go all out to make alot of new pals alr. Is that a sign of maturation? I certainly refuse to say so, its just appreciating everyone ard me more i guess. =)

Random pics from events on and off that happened . Enjoy.

Sis wedding day in the morn. Mum did ALL my sis make up and dress up and hair. Wow.

My family and 1 indo couz family..

My dad looked tense..LOL.

Thanks franzzy, gloria, Yk and Xiang2 for coming. U all played beautifully~

Nps peeps at hotpot coulture

Happen to meet SAG peeps after RJC performance~

Guys acting cool at ECP for cycling/blading session. Nice take by me! Wahaha~

NTU GE peeps at Pasir Ris Beach smiling happily...

Wanna see our toilet looks?

At night when the sun is down and the moon is up

Pool time...*splash splash*

Silouette of the coolest few on sunset bay man~

" Its nv really the activities that are the most impt, its the company, alright?"

2008-05-05T23:54:00.003+08:00

Filled my activities to the max this week. Photos will be up as soon as I've got them.

Tue night went out to town to have dinner at Thai Express. Tried some...fish laksa...eh, not my kinda taste. Weird weird de, so i didnt finish it. haha..Went to walk walk see see ard the few shops that were still open. Ended the trip by walking to selegie road to drink the famous tao huay drink. Headed back to hostel and watched a movie while indulging in light german beer. Haha...water filled night.

Woke up darn early in the morning on wed to go west coast! Was abit reluctant cos i was still sooo sleepy but the tot of the sun and playgrounds spurred me. Just when i was abt to leave hostel it rained. =.= Luckily, west coast itself didn't rain! haha. Had my 1st taste of mcgriddles as well! Haha..nice nice. Heard so many positive comments and it was indeed nt too bad. lol. Played the stations, smell the breeze and walk the park till afternoon and headed back to hostel to pack and return home in the evening. Nice nice. Feel healthier under sun le. haha.

Thur was Labour's Day and its the most EXPENSIVE day cos i spent ALOT sia! Threw a granite in my pocket till its still charred and gonna be charred for some time sia. haha.. Went to Sim Lim to get a harddisk drive cos my old one is squeaking every now and then alr. haha. Got a 160gb one now. Then..headed to parkway for lunch..ate pasta new mushroom pasta. haha. Went there to scout ard for my spects..and...i made one on the same day in the end..argh!!! My astig is like so high till its sooo ex. I compromised with a thicker lense this time cos the 1.67 index and the 1.6 index had a difference of $120 and its just the lense! *faintz*. My pocket was sore alr...But i couldn't resist temptation, bought a few tops and some misc stuffs too!!! so...wahhhhhh...spent like $500+ just on ONE day. Actually intended to go expo walk walk the mph and metro sales de, bUt i CMI le. hahahah...

Friday was the small chalet gathering with NTU GE pple and it was quite fun actually. It was a 1 nite thing and i met them in the arvo at pasir ris control straight. Chalet was at aloha loyang. haha..ulu. Went to cycle before the bbq with a few peeps and it was damn funny lar. All foreigners. So we were like talking in some broken english-combined with-misc language accent. It was my 1st time riding a double bike too! haha...Cycled and went to play pasir ris playground too. Was quite fun cos we sabo each other den play and fall on each other still can laugh till some kids see us play can join us after tt. hahaha... fun. Went back for bbq and i started learning how to count in vietnamese. I m not bad sia! hahaha..Played and sing and strum guitars till almost midnight then we all decided to go beach have a walk and talk talk..so we headed there...and chit chatted..and played games! Ended the night with a moo moo game tt i taught them..some reflex action game with actions of *drink milk/*squeeze milk/*bathe milk/*no milk. haha..we must say and act out and it was hilarious cos if 2 pple do the same action, the "flow of the game reverses". But cos there were so many times the pairs do same actions, so the flow just keep switching back and forth. Then i came out with stupid forfeit and it was really CMI. Photos soon~. haha. Went back entirely shag. BUt i didn't slp cos i wanted to leave v early in the morn so..played dai dee...card games..and MEMORY game. Sia la. haha..But i totally gave up on a number game which req maths. haha...brain dead. Left ard 7am tt morn.

So continuing, its 7am on Sat alr, cabbed home, bathed packed and slp for abt..1hr? Then headed down east coast to meet nps peeps for cycling session! haha..song bo..! Cycled till evening..cant have dinner with them cos i had to rush to watch a performance at RJ by 7+. So nice of catty to give me n J a ride back to my home. Bathed, and changed. Then headed to his side, dinner + bathe and changed and chiong down for performance. Performance was OK...managed to see some sag juniors too. slacked awhile at J8 then go home zzz le. exhausted.

finally, sun...mahjong session! Nice. But only could play for a few hours cos i got to eat my family dinner. Yeah...won nett $10+ $20..poor doggy. Jiayou next time. haha..Save $ for now kk. haha... Dinner was nice too...

Today was moving day. Moved 60% of my stuff from my old room to my new room (sis room's now mine). Moved my notes and books + stuff toys 1st. ALOT sia...i din noe i got go much notes. and so much rubbish. haha...Everytime i pack, i seem to throw ALOT, but how come everytime still got SO MUCH to throw. Lol. Maybe after i move i shall snap some pics too. LOl..My mum was still grumbling how come i stopped moving, cos i went down to grab a bite when J popped by to pass stuff..eh...apparently, i was sick with moving stuff for today..haha..wait till thur ba. LOl.

"my holidays have just started but yet it seem so great already. Ur constant presence shows it all. haha...cant wait to do many stuffs and go many places with ya~"

2008-04-30T15:53:00.002+08:00

its done. after 3 mths of sheer torture. its done. for this semester.

been trying so hard these few weeks. i guess all ntu cbc students have been trying so hard these few wks ba. really must mention ntu cbc cos this course is really...painstreaking. haha. this course is certaining not for the weak heart. the endless nights of studying, the packets of coffee...redbull...books...repetition of music from playlist to keep us going...radio..all. all requires determination, endurance and...patience.

okok. just a summary of the exams. i took 5 papers, in sequence its: Defence Science, Calculus II, Analytical BioChem (ABC), Physics II, Biochem II.

Defence Science was tedious cos its 100%. Alot to study. But copeable. I was on the verge of falling aslp in exam again..cos its the same scenario. its a 5PM TO 7PM paper. its my most chui time. In case u all don't know, my lowest peak is that time. V chui. haha..brought gums in to chew.

And darn, the next day is Calculus II. I needed a freakin' 70m JUST to PASS that paper. Yes, it was THAT pathetic, and i ended defence science at 7pm, by the time i started my maths revision, its...9pm..haiz. I saw the paper and i sworn i tried my best man, but i noe my limitations. haha. 5big qns, 1qn v confident, 2qn good, 3rd..ok..4th..eh...5th..die. So..to pass FINAL is definite, to pass module is the qn. haha.

Then comes ABC, freaking loads of formulas. No formula list given. I flunked my midterm and i assured my lecturer he wun see me again. (i mentioned in my previous post i think). And i can say i tried my best too. haha..hope he wun see me again. BUt..its soo darn tedious. i couldn't finish.

THe next directly after ABC was physics II. this is one of the most disappointing exam i have ever taken in my LIFE. I did well enough all the while. I only needed a freakin 30m to get thru the module. And guess what. i noe i cant get it. This was a gamble, and i lost...BADLY. i had the idea that i will smile out of the exam hall no matter what. BUt i couldn't. I saw the paper. it was 2.5hrs paper, and i stopped writing after 30min. i cant do the paper. I gambled on topics, i gambled on qns. None came out except for a 15mark qn. I REALLY REALLY couldn't do the rest. Some called it mental block, some call it panic attack, i don't know. I can hear distinct pressing of calculators and busy scribblings from the tables beside. BUt i cant pen anything down. I tried. it was so disappointing that i cant bear to walk out of the exam hall like i always do if i decide to forgo the qns. Now its too much. i only needed 30m. I flipped the paper like umpteen times till its really wrinkled and sat thru the WHOLE 2.5hrs but its gone. Thanks alot, its the 1st time i felt so much like an academic failure. It may be sth tt others noe how it felt. But its nt easy for me to say i m gonna retake a module. failing tests is alr a huge adaptation to me, but to retake a module..to hell with tt. drank beer and all to end the nite. its a paper that i wept.

last module was biochem. a subject tt i have always had more confident to pass. tons to remb and till my hair turned white. but..at least it paid of nicely such that i can say i will pass this. i even went for POST exam dinner celebration the evening before my paper..lol..

seriously wondering if i made the wrong choice of chemistry instead of sticking to biology which is my forte. in any case, i noe i cant turn back now. i wun, for my character, i wun back out and change course. many pple i noe from my course did that, done that and some doing it this semester. I noe i wun...but its really really tough... 6 more semesters to go...

i told my mum that its really hard and she just said, "good things never come easy. this path is what u want right? if its so easy to get to it, maybe the success rate for every1 will be high too. and u wun make much out of it. u chose it, so u must do it." I hope its true.

I promise, i will try not to land myself in such shit hole again. i will redeem myself.

OK, end of that...and i m seriously gonna have ALOT of FUN!!! 3mths of hell needs equivalents or more to regain my "high" self. and this is a start baby! I have gave my post exam a mini start off alr..so do get me out of my pigsty and let's all have some fun pple. Bring it on! Mention it and we will do it. =)

Lastly, i got my Astrology & Cosmology module! 1.5mth of module. Gonna only have sch from every tue to thur, 1pm to 4pm. SO...wad are u waiting for...meet me and i will show u the world. haha...

" good times and the bad...u tried standing there by me. hard to believe, i think i m falling into it..=)"

2008-04-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

feeling abit angry with blogger now. I blogged almost finished then there was this server error and all are gone. its been a while since such thing happen to me. great.

back from hostel after a wk of happenings. its nice to be home in fact. now its kinda like a relief..refuge place after weeks of rubbish accomplishments. but today its a little different. I usually enter my house, instinctively looking to my right cos' my sis room is there and she's usually in, or rather will be back soonafter me. Today's different though. Her room was vacant and dark. I thought for a while of shld i go straight to her room or to mine. I was to move over cos' my parents said the toilet is connected there and many other reasons so yeah. I walked to her room and was surprised cos some of my stuffs are over there alr. I walked back to my original room and it looks familiar yet stranger now. Hi new room. I need time to orientate.

today was a strange day too. I went to collect my analytical biochem paper. FAILED. i hate to type the 6-letter word over and over, but i seem to type it time after time. Its annoying.

1st weird occurence was when roommate and i went to collect our papers. Searched for his room for the 1st time and saw 20pple outside a room. Streamed past them to find his room and they didn't mutter a word. They seem to be waiting for sth but we didn't know. I spotted his room like 0.5m away from the crowd and saw a shadow inside, knocked and went in thenafter. He said he wanted to reveal paper 1 by 1 so i stepped out, to only realise like 3min after that the 20pple outside were all waiting to see him. And a b**** actually said sth like,"wah...someone jumped queue sia...wah lao". Oh pls, call urself dumb or dumb man, i looked at u all but u all kept mum, and so don't accuse man. save it maybe u can pass ur paper.

2nd occurence was when i entered the room after and he immediately asked if i was sheena. I went "huh?" like 3 times then he kept repeating "u sheena right? i am correct what, no meh?" i was like stunned. How he actually knew manz. This module had no tutorials, just pure lectures and i m always sitted like at the last 3 rows of the lect. Never did i talk to him once since day 1 of his class. LOL.

He saw me sighed and asked why. I told him i know i failed and he said that there is only 2 possibility - either i didn't study and nv put in enough effort or i cant understand. I said the 1st. He replied by saying i m lucky that i wasn't his sec school std else he will scold till i break. I remarked, "Why not...u scold me now?" He was stunned. I said i know i can do better, i just didn't have the time and all at that time. He said that this cannot happen now...and i wanted to reply, "yeah...i quitted everything alr...right?". I didn't say that in the end. I nodded and said i know what i shld do. i will pass. He asked if he is a good tcher. i said yes. He asked if i can do it. I said shld be. What a let-down. I want to make a change.

3rd occurence, was to go home from hostel but roommate was feeling down too. end up gg to tampines to walk ard and have dinner. sat at cartel and ordered our food. think roommate is influenced by me and my mustard-dipping habits that she liked it too. She asked a crew for mustard and crew replied, "I think MAYBE there WAS NO mustard". wahahaha...wah raoz..the english..damn buang. i laughed so hard on my seat after tt pple ard me turned. what is maybe? either got or not arh...then the "was", what she mean? Yeah right i know there is no mustard on my platter of food. lol..funny. ok..maybe not..just stress's fault. hoho.

had a long chat. we touched a little on how our school has made us realised that we don't even reap what we sow, but yet the relationship now is that effort may even be inversely proportional to results. And realised 1 strength and 1 weakness in me. 1 strength is that i tend to do my best in trying to achieve sth that i aim for. 1 weakness is that i get demoralised easily and need some time to pick myself up. this leads to the point that when i really try hard for my subjects..and nt that i see good results but still in fact failing grades..its not helping and even reinforce my weakness cos the morale will just get lowerand lower. Be4 i can recuperate from a failure, another thing set me back. viscious cycle keeps going on. i know i m not the type who consistantly...constantly studies but i study when exams are nearing. But why nt even a pass is rewarded.

Initially thought its my prob, then my polymates are in this shit too. Then realised fellow coursemates are also facing this, those who are smiling are those who really chiong. Does my school really focus on being an all rounder? This year's tagline for openhouse was L.I.F.E - sth along the line of living and inspiring sth exciting or what. I beg to differ if things are geared in such a chiong-er's attitude.

Anw, next wk...would be the start of final exams. Wed defence science and thur, calculus. Its scary. Defence science finals hold 100% cos its one and only paper in the course. Calculus, thanks to my sucky maths, i need a bloody 70% to PASS my paper. I really want to pass real badly. I don't want to re-take. I don't want to get a GPA so pathetic that i cant get my honours but still have to study for a bloody 4 years (rigid system here). I don't want to study for the max. time one can stay in a uni (7 years). I want...a normal life. ARhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Ok, to end this post on a lighter note. I have got my posting for special term I in the hols! I've got my 1st choice! Astronomy and Cosmology!!! Yeah. Finally, a module that I CHOSE. a module of my interest. lol. we'll c hw it goes.

Back to the books after making coffee in a cup out of 3 packs as usual.

"need more...want more...give more..."

2008-04-10T03:08:00.004+08:00

THROUGH THE RAIN

MARIAH CAREY

ho...ho...

yeah...

ho...ho...oh...ooh...ooh...

when you get caught in the rain

with nowhere to run

when you´re distraught and in pain

without anyone

we keep prayin´ to saved

but nobody comes

and you feel so far away

that you just can´t

find your way home

you can get there alone

it´s okay

what you say

i can make it through the rain

i can stand up once again

on my own and i know

that i´m strong enough to mend

and every time i feel afraid

i hold tighter to my faith

and i live one more day

and i make it through the rain

hoo...hoo...doo doo doo

ooh...hoo...mmm...hmm...

and if you keep falling down

don´t you dare give in

you will arise safe and sound

so keep pressing on

step fastly

and you´ll find what you need

to prepare

what you say

i can make it through the rain

i can stand up once again

on my own and i know

that i´m strong enough to mend

and every time i feel afraid

i hold tighter to my faith

and i live one more day

and i make it through the rain

and when the wind moves

and shadows grow close

don´t be afraid

there´s nothing you can´t face

and sure they tell you

you´ll never pull through

don´t hesitate

stay calm and sane

i can make it through the rain

i can stand up once again

on my own and i know

that i´m strong enough to mend

and every time i feel afraid

i hold tighter to my faith

and i live one more day

and i make it through the rain

i can make it through the rain

can stand up once again

and i live one more day

and i´ll make it through the rain

ooh, yes, you can

mmm...hmm...

you can make it through the rain

2008-04-03T22:09:00.004+08:00

Didn't know u all actually read my posts. Haha. Little did i know when i share this situation here, quite many are concerned. I m comforted in a way. hek hek. Before I shall reveal my decision. I shall share some pictures, which marked quite a few events, which i have been in charged of, one way or another, big posts or small, from the yrs of my poly life till now. I was quite amazed by the collection though, cos i realized i missed some of them out, and these events are only those that involved the school, not counting those out of school. haha...

In 2005...my baby contributions to SAG and NPS...

When 2006 comes...haha...ambitious me take on challenging roles to try and hold more bigger performance and concerts..and this is when i start to pray for miracles..lol

Wow...2005...2006...2007...2008. Events after events, concerts after concerts. I think some couldn't understand y i did so much. Neither could i explain it very well. Lol. I just knew that sometimes i did it out of ambition, sometimes i did it out for friends, which i treasure ALOT, and sometimes, its just out to clear s***. In any case, once i set on doing it, it must not fail, at least not too badly. haha...

Judging from the way i looked at it, these events certainly are the ones that i would be reminded of everytime, anytime when i recall of my school days. Nevertheless, there must be a stop somewhere. I have decided, to not take up the post. Heng was right after all. I guess he knows that when i said i needa start to love myself a little more, it also meant giving up on some things. Its just a matter of choice.

I feel for the club. I feel for the pple. I feel for the urge to want to be part of the family. But to lead the club, I know i can. BUt, at the expense of my time and family and studies. These sacrifices are more than what it really count in me still. I have done my part for Nocturne, and it turned out surprisingly- really really well. I wish my decision is well-respected. I will still be part of the team, to support when i can, but not to lead. Its too much to ask for right now. Thanks to all of those who have faith in me, but also sorry to the same bunch to my cowardice to take on the post. I followed my heart.

FYI now, they still want me in the comm, and i m still considering a mini post, one that i can be stagnant most of the time. But till now, i m a member. LOl. Enough of GE, here's the news abt my midterm exams. It sucked. Haha. The papers are killers!!! Horrible horrible papers. Physics i must say i gave up on 2 chaps, which meant that those qns regarding the chaps i didn't study i didn't do, and it was unexpectedly..half of the paper. lol. so now i got 50% chance to pass.

About my biochem. the tcher really sux. The paper is really darn ass. His notes contains like tons of mechanisms and its all in small print. extremely small- those that u enlarge ur ppt size to 200% also got difficulty reading-kind. And so I did my part and memorise and understand the others in normal print. BUT when his qns are out, instead of testing ABC, he tested 123%^%&. Which means, its not even relevant but out of focus kinda qns! So, u cannot even try. And sth even stupider happened. He carelessly repeated an mcq qn, which are 3m each. And some student told him abt it and he simply announced to the whole lecture group, "eh..students? qn11 and qn14 are repeats. so the 3m from the qn14 will be added on to qn 22." BLOODY HELL, qn22 is a structured BIOLOGY qn and he just added 3m to it, and its NOW 9m??? To get 6m for structured here is hell alr, wad's the 9m now man! Kaoz. Funny part is, suddenly when we started the paper, a rain storm started and flooded the school. Its for real. haha. When i left early after doing the paper, i walked out and the water level reached more than 10cm at certain places. lol. 老天都在哭泣.

In any case, i did my part. I studied. Will try even harder. But i wanna see results man. Haha. Hope i get my special term astronomy module. lol. And damn, i gotta shift to another hall room temporarily cos my hall's under maintenance..got fridge and all sia...so darn ma fan..who wanna help? lol...

站在十字路的交点出该怎么走,

你能不能了解

偶尔胆怯也并不是个错误

大雨落下的瞬间我突然发现

此刻的脚步若放慢一些

理智和情绪可能就会回到我身边

2008-03-31T23:34:00.002+08:00

Hey. About time i leave another mark. Away for almost a month. Lots have happened, both good and bad. I have been wanting to make a post, but i cant think of a way to start of, after such a long time.

Foremost, thanks to ALL who came for the NTU guitar concert. I was really really glad with the response. It was really a great success to have all of u down to share the moment with me and my fellow club pple. Just to share the extend of gratefulness i have for u all, about 70+ of u all, my good frens came. That is excluding those of u who cant make it on the actual day but bought tickets. I cant imagine the concert without u all.

I have always been in this area of performing arts and I guess this one concert is an impactful one. U know, I tot organizing events in NP was tough, but till i experienced this project then i realised that the world is big out there. haha. Its T-O-U-G-H-E-R here. I guess being a high-achiever added more stress to all under me as well. I know my character and I set high aims. Gave many pple stress along the way but i just wanted things to go well. To cut this part short, i sincerely thank my committee for doing their part, u all noe who u are. =)

I guess i'm sorta in a dilemma now. Doing well in things that i want to and for particular purposes have always been my..character. Initially starting of as someone who didn't wanted to give up guitar, someone who wanted to earn pts to stay in hall, and having such a purpose in mind, joined this club and ran for committee to be Nocturne Pres. Through the process, shit happened, pile after pile. Even till the day of concert, i was ever constantly reaffirming myself that the concert would mark the end of all my nonsense. The end of my taxing journey of cda work. I decided to quit the club and let the concert leave a nice mark. However, the pple in GE just made me realise soon after..that things weren't so simple after all.

I heard rumours that the preceding successor of the club might b me. I was afraid. Not for the post, not for the duty, but for the faith they had in me. I wanted out.

On a post-event where we meet up for some food and viewing of the concert video, the club had a voting. I was in it. I told fellow mates that i wanted to quit and their expressions were unforgettable. The results were tallied and i got most of the votes as Pres. I was confused. I was flattered. Much too flattered.

P and VP pulled me aside to talk, and i couldnt give an ans. I didn't want to. It just wasn't fair. I worked so hard for a rest and now to carry an even heavier load? It just wasn't wad i expected. Many came over to congratulate me and i could only managed a smile. I went drinking at the playground after with a few..cos i needed some time.

REached back hostel at like 4+am? And the moment i got online after washing up, pple started finding me on msn, sms, etc. Words just kept flowing in. "U deserve it.", "U r really a great leader", yada yada yada. Thanks alot. I really dun need this now...

My stand still stayed, until when i hear bigger news, then i just wavered..some kept telling me how thrilled they are..how glad they were...how much they anticipate the next pract etc..and i just wanted out even more. i told them i may nt do it after all. And some revealed that they wanted to quit after the concert too, but upon knowing i m the pres, they decided to stay cos the bond tgr is too great to break. Some said they will come for pract more, be more involved, cos they wanna support me thru' it.. some said they are willing to help in 1 way or another...just so we can work tgr to give GE an even better shot next year. One reckon to join the club, cos the experience with me and rest in the club seems interesting enough to make her wanna be a part of this.

wow. i m, speechless. 1 of my weakness is human relationships. I cant pretend as much as i would like to ignore all these and cont. with my life. Its not me alone. Someone foresee such things would happen but i refuse to admit it and now i m just like..stunned. its nv in MY plan. I requested a few days to think over, and my deadline's up, still couldnt get an ans. that i m satisfied myself. My mind tells me that i shld just love myself a lil' more and get on with my life, improving my grades, conc on my work and leave more time for frens and family. BUt my heart also feel for these pple out there. Being a normal member seems fine in the club, but would they really allow me to do that? If i still stay, they might as well want me to run it. BUt..y the torture. The post is nowhere near "glorious", i just dun wan all the good things i see in GE to break away. OK, i admit it, i cant bear to see the club slowly tearing away, not becos of me, but becos a group of pple who can mix well will slowly pull more pple tgr..and the circle expands. But once they disintergrate...the rest will drift too. argh.

wad someone say is right. The ans. is pretty much clear cut. Yes or No. I shld NOT be thinking of things like "if GE falls apart, or return back to the stage whereby pple are hostile and etc, it will become v 可惜". if i think it that way, my ans is obvious, i will say yes. I just need to think if i want it. But that way, its obvious too, the ans is no. Shucks.

Anyway, just a happy note. My sis is offically MARRIED! I will blog abt that again in the next post. With pictures and all. wad i want to say is, its a new beginning for her and i wish her all the best. It was a hell load of experience i had, and its like once in a lifetime and it was a blast. next time bahz. haha.

Need to get back to study. Midterm exam on wed and thur. still haven really start. sian. ciaoz.

"u braved the storms with a breeze."

2008-03-06T02:26:00.002+08:00

i feel like a superwoman now, 1 without wings, but still super.

physics test was gruelling. haha. 10 MCQ qns. see 1st qn, forgot all formulas. brain-blocked. skipped. 2nd qn, skipped. 3rd, skipped. just like tt. UNTIL i found 1qn tt i can do. Duno y its mcq anyway, cos all are working qns. Meaning need to work a series of steps den get ans. so..might as well structured rite, get working marks. lol. In any case, i just picked my fav. alphabets n shaded it. Left the test hall early.

went for pract, and as usual till late. tml's maths. not much confidence. But feeling so calm, at least for this moment. Duno y. Think the heart has died. my mind's full rite now. been multi-tasking recently. yest's pract, i conducted small grp and special grp and also asked my publicity guy to come over for me to amend the booklet. then study + msn-ing concert discussions + etc etc. so its always activities happening simultaneously. haha.

tml gonna go for test, den chiong to city hall meet 3 different pple pass tix. Thanks for buying! And rush back for project discussion, then to practice (grilling session now) and hopefully can meet my special grp for more pract. lol. think i m mad. feel like splitting myself up so my "parts" can run along to different places and do different things cos i tink i can coordinate them. i just need to be doing more things at a time. haha.

fri fri...hmm..i cant wait. cos its gonna be end of the week. Duno if i shld go work. PS boss like more than 5 times. Sounds bad. But...i really need my lil' rest. how?

Overheard something during today's practice today. Hopefully this news issit true. nth to do with concert. But i hope this news is a hoax. or else i would be put in a spot. which i dun wan to, cos i noe my decision and it will just make things more obvious. haha.

FYI, mixing 4 packs of 2-in-1 coffee into 1 cup works abit of a miracle. I m still awake despite so lil' slp. haha. But i shan't study anymore. no mood le. Think tml wake early to revise and that's it. so bloody sick of this week.

Just wanna meet U, U, U, U or..U! ALl of u, any of u. Not Do do do do or do. lol.

"i need a hug"

2008-03-05T04:36:00.002+08:00

Wrecked.

5am in the morn. freezing cold weather. hungry tummy and sleepless nights. Yes, this is how my days were. Ended pract at 12am again. Really had to go. Rushed back to deal with physics. But the brain cells just die away relentlessly as i try to master the art of understanding. Kungfu fighting with malicious looking formulas to little avail.

Feeling scotched, as if been burnt under the glaring hot sun. Terrible. Haven been sleeping well. Eye bags are out, dark circles hovering like no one's business. Pathetic homo sapiens of my kind. haha.

This gonna continue for tml cos i still have pract but need to study for thurs midterm exam...torture. I tHink i wouldn't be able to clock more than 24hrs of slp this whole week. life span shorten by a mile again. *sighs*

Just bear with my groans and whines cos' i need a lil' comfort over here eh.

"gimme more, now tt i want u"

2008-03-04T03:06:00.003+08:00

its always during horrendous tests period then blogger becomes my regular frustrating tank.

skipped maths tut as usual - but this time round, is to study maths. haha. I've got to catch up cos no use gg to tut. 望尘莫及. thur's midterm exam till chap 7, tutorial is at chap 8 i think, and i've only started chap 1. so, today's the day to chiong man. at least read thru my notes. maths is thereotically never hard to me, just need to practice. however, i didn't dedicate time for it, so now it smacked me hard. haha. FYI, i became a loser by S/U-ing my maths this time round, meaning tt i've changed it to a pass/fail subject. 1 yr can only use this option once on 1 sub, and i used it on such a sub tt can be salvaged. lol. with all e events this mth, i have less much of a choice lar...or is tt an escape route?

bia thru the notes, went for lessons, and back. printer was outta ink and so went to JP to get ink + dinner. Reached back hostel later and finally got down to abit more of maths. persisted to read thru it at least so i can pract abit on wed nite be4 thur's paper. hai. BUT BUT BUT...i've got a physics paper on WED. congrats congrats to me. I haven started on physics. hah...But i got a habit to start the lastest sub 1st and study the nearest sub last. Lol. Stubborn, but who cares?

8 chaps of physics. 3am in the morn. can i have the energy to read thru like 4 chaps of it at least? 3 chaps? 2 chaps? i wonder... usually when put in such scenario, years of experience just tells me i only got me alone to save myself. becos why? the world will not stop spinning for me. haha. No matter how prepared or unprepared i m, the papers are set and gonna be beautifully placed on the exam desks waiting for us. haha..diligence helps for survival here man. lessons learnt, but nv prevented, time after time. half-life.

more bravo thing is that, i've got proj meeting tml in the noon. and guitar pract from directly after school till late everyday till thur. and i cannot dun go, cos of many reasons. expectations, conductor, and alot more reasons. i m split in pieces but its just the way it is...

i hope i can pull thru. i noe no matter wad, the days will pass, the events will come. bless myself man! need to be the most optimistic pessimist. tons of coffee and red bull pls. haha. ok, back to study. laters.

2008-03-03T02:12:00.004+08:00

start of a so-called brand new week soon.

was to meet a gd pal last fri for a movie, but i PS-ed her in the end. Was busy with my stuffs. End up, roomie popped by and ended eating dinner and chatting with her till late on fri. Lugged a whole lot of stuffs back home..i caught the last train, and my last bus..what was i doing. haha..

went to watch dance PP last sat too. having been in NP for so long, it was my watching the dance PP as far as i could remb. Haha..it was nt too bad. and of cos, just in case i didn't mentioned, i actually had a huge tiff with my hostel production crew cos i was to help out but i cant make it for their performance which was on the same day too. And so, i left them, but cos of my dear peeps here, how can i not support.especially when its e last performance for 1 of you...

honestly, i would like to dedicate this small box of words for u. u have brought me into a whole new world of dance era which i would nv have experience if i nv met u. u r an inspiration to me indeed. I noe u r just 1 person when there are millions of pple passionate abt dance as well, but remb, u r 1 special person too. Nvrtheless, it must have taken loads of courage to make this ur last dance, and make such huge decision in ur life. As ur fren, i respect u alot for it...and i hope u can realise ur dreams aite? we dun meet often, but let's dun make it never, yeah? *winks*

after the PP was to hang out with them. But i had to go off 1st to meet Jer awhile. End up that we hung out till quite late thus cant join the dance peeps after. had a long long chat...

anyway, sun came and yeah...tried to do some work but its hard when mum's frens came and havoc at my hse lar..haha..jer came over to slack n do some uni appl stuff till evening.

Went to meet barney at JP before heading to hostel after to pass tix too. thanks barney~~

and now? terrible diarrheao + cough + sore throat for god knows why. power needed to tahan e wk thru.

"i must say i was very much taken aback...with wad we talked abt...i guess pple really do have cross-junctions in life then things start to flow in and we have to make major decisions. no more hiding. i must say i appreciate u for sharing..really...alot. Thank u so for ur honesty...hope things goes the way as well as i painted the picture for ya..."

2008-02-28T01:12:00.002+08:00

I am touched by someone today.

Dreaded to go to practice and it was for small grp pract. From noon till night. Nv tot it would be productive. Decided to head for dinner with some others, when a phonecall came to my pres. As nonchalant as i was, i heard a name and my heart skipped a beat - Alex. I was shocked.

He was coming.

I couldn't believe my ears and i have mixed tots. My pres was told Alex is here to listen to our pract, listen how my previous instructor conduct, and if he can, he will help us. We are such pathetic fools.

I was told he would arrive at night. And we hastily changed our small grp pract to MAIN grp pract and i made my very best to give the due respect Alex shld have. I demanded drinks and proper attendance suddenly. Ha. Such impact and change when its someone worthy of ur effort.

I tot he would arrive at 8+ with that instructor of mine. But no! I receive a phonecall at 7pm sharp. He has arrived. 7pm sharp, cos he heard our pract starts that time. How cool is that. He is that punctual. I stepped into the room slowly..packing up the mess while he talks to my pres. I saw him from afar, i just cant believe my eyes. Suddenly, he called out to me. I was shocked he remembered me. My name and all. Asking of life and all. Its was a wonderful feeling to see an old fren again...

I apologised to him. For many reasons that flooded my head. I said sorry, cos' he had to find his way to our music room when our darn instructor just throw him an address and made him find his way to our room, himself. I said sorry, cos' he had to climb the darn high hill and stairs cos the place is so inaccessible. I said sorry, cos' its unfair for him, to ask him to conduct another conductor's piece of music only when tt conductor cant make it. I said sorry, cos' as if making use of him is not enough, he was only given 2 wks from the concert to make this whole thing work. I said sorry, cos'...he agreed to help, without hesitation, after he realise, we wanna make this concert come true...and he didn't wanna let it fall..he didn't wanna let us fall...

I salute him, for his willingness tp help, for his integrity, for his love for music, for his character, for his generosity, for his passion to teach students, for his heart for all..

He came for the 1st time, to listen to us play. However, his passion to teach and make us better, gave him the strength to decide to conduct us for the 1st time today. The feeling was undescribable. I nv once whine at his lame jokes, nor his off-timing at times, or his advises. I listened attentively, digesting every word and treasuring his every teaching. In fact, i really appreciate him here. My frens noticed the difference.

End of pract, he came over to talk abit more. Telling about how his health has been. His shrunken built and weaker body just makes its more hurting to see him here cos' it meant so much more now. I would like to invite him to watch the concert, not watch him help. All i can say is, thanks Mr. Alex. Having u here is really a nice surprise. Attending ur ensemble practice gave me a nice feeling at pract again. I miss the old times, both good times and the bad.

Thank you Mr. Alex Abisheganaden.

There are even more changes and hiccups in the preparation for the concert. I duno why. Perhaps its not meant to easy from the start...But...i believe i will try my best to pull through. 2 wks to concert.

2008-02-23T16:00:00.006+08:00

WARNING: THIS IS A LONG POST. SLEEPYHEADS R PRONE TO BE KNOCKED OUT IN 10 SECs.

I can only say I've been pigging out ever since the start of CNY this year. Mountains of food day after days of visting and dinner. Its a vicious cycle when the whole "I treat u, U treat me" thing starts going around. So, its reunion dinner hopping from auntie's house to grandma's to parents frens house this year. Its been a long long time since we practice this manz. On my own side, i did invite fren's over for some chillin' session, mahjonging etc. Went to laoshi's hse, frens house too! haha..Busy busy, but red packet income like eh...no diff...so low. Need more mahjonging! who wants?

Then the preceding wks was like an worker bee doing assignments + having quizzes here and there, then..came valentine's, which i totally tried ignoring cos some dumbo say he's nt free. And the day be4 was alr supposed to go his relative's hse 4 dinner. Thus, I just tooK the dinner like a meeting day alr..since he is like..wayyyyyy busy. Who noes, i was set in a trap all along. Went to meet ahem @ harbourfront be4 to take mrt to his relative's, then he was late (as usual), BUT for like 1hr+! Said got extra duty..damn pissed, wanted to leave liao. Then he came, say mrt spoil(which was really spoilt). Den was so hungry went to have dinner 1st, then go his relatives hse. Stayed for quite awhile blah blah blah, then finally when i wanna return
hostel he accompanied, and kept asking if he sent halfway can anot, which became annoying after awhile. Lol. We reached n he said he wan toilet n i went up alone to hostel to NOT expect gifts on my table. Tot it was a prank my roomie did on me. Till i saw his handwriting, then i start to get my orientation rite. Was both darn shocked n amused. haha..

I walked outta room wanted to hatam him alr when i saw him TRYing to hide behind a pillar (which wasn't extremely thick), and i burst out laughing. It wasn't all cos he actually hid all the pressies n i was supposed to find. And i did, while he enjoyed e scene with occasional smirking remarks. Too bad, i was too talented cos my room wasnt exceptionally big. Lol. To begin with, he actually contact my roomie a few days ago n planned this stuff, the duty and all were lies lar. Roar. But duno y e mrt was on his side. Then so, he planned e route n all tt day n it was a success it worked out for him tt he was grinning from ear to ear lar..FYI, my stupid roomie actualy left e room so she wun be there to spoil e mood. Dumb gal. Erm, But
recall tt i din get him anything, so i promised sth special. Lol. He was darn lucky on e way home when he left sooo late, and still managed to even get on BUSES (still can change normal buses) like ard 1+ 2am la. Haha..

Went another fren's hse on sat, steamboat session + mahjonging + slacking + outdoor movie screening! haha..pics later too..haha..so cool. If only when i start working my frenz could all still chill like tt. think long long maybe can. lol.

Ooh..sun went back batam, indonesia, to pray grandmama and to bai nian. Wootx. Nv managed to take full photo with them cos everyone was soo busy entertaining each other..but my couz all v cute and pretty and handsome!!! haha..wah raoz..all take after my mother side genes. kaoz. how come my genes so..eh..diluted. lOl. But v funny, when we praying for the food thing to them + some incense paper, chinese religious way to "ask" the spirits qns were to use 2 3D-moon-shaped wood to indicate when they ask and throw e wood la. Then 2 "open" wood means "laughing", "1 open 1 close" means "yes/ok", then 2 "close" is "no". Interesting rite. Then my relatives vvvv kan jiong cos they wana go shopping. So they keep "asking" if "they" are done with the food and all, then the cute thing is....no matter WHO ask and throw, the ans is the same- "laughing"!!! It happen to EVERYONE. Then i kept saying sth like..aiya they happy lar..just let them "eat" slowly lar..Then my relative kept laughing..and they continue throwing the wood EVERY 2-3min (told u they kan jiong liao) till 1.5hr later then once someone throw and got the FIRST "ok", they chiong to clear the stuff. Diaoz..haha..

Ate lunch..yummy man! The fish maw pig tummy soup..sedap! Then..got things like the crackers...ban kien kueh (wah raoz..so THICK, juicy and fragrant with condense milk + ALOT of peanut) wah raoz..(drooling), if nv eat this in indo, u nv considered coming man! then..the avogado drink! (this one also!!!) Ooo..and the potato donut! (arhhh) Wah..sinful sia!!! 1 day nt enough lar!!! haha..I nv buy clothes cos no time..But i did buy sth!!! 2 percussioninstruments!!! A rainmaker (those when u flip will produce "raining" sound) + a drum! YEah! Oh..and some craft accesory. Hek...yeah...

wEnt back at nite..and have to RUSH back to hostel..sian rite? hhaa..cos got quiz and assg and MIDTERM EXAM tt week..play play play, nv do work. siaoz de. haha...so chiong all of them..But my guitar pract took up DAYS of my wk..everytime pract from 7pm to 11+ 12+am de..so reached back hostel bathe like 1am then start doing some work..4am+ 5am+ den slp..
Oh, Helped set up a booth too! Hahah..

And i did promise ahem a surprise..so...after 4am+ do sth a lil' bit everyday (except wed, cos thur exam!) to do some stuff...and tada..the wk was over..and so my surprise was ready too~ hek. So we Met after my meeting in sch. Enjoyed dinner and some activities...Lol..then finally yeah...the surprise @ wee hours of e nite..LOl...yeah. Nice nice~~

Ok..this wk was like a superwoman. Next wk recess wk. Which means exams after tt. Lols..But still got TONs of guitar pract (pls come for concert, LAST performance!) and loads of asssg. Haiz. hah..In any case..jiayou..i need more power....! Later gonna watch ah long movie..outdoor screening again..yeah! ^ ^

"Thanks aaaalot...who noes a blockhead will a crack abt such stuffs sia...u've got moves i haven seen~ Happy 8th..."

2008-02-04T01:15:00.000+08:00

i m now listening to some disney magic hits and the song-shooting stars is playing now...Sounds inspiring at this moment now. Seeing a shooting star to some is like having a dream come true. It just somehow signifies some wish that come true. Have been dealing alot of my oncoming concert.

Someone asked me recently, "how's the preparation so far?"

"Trying...trying. ups and downs. I just got the feeling that we(my committee) are in the eye of the storm. Was so stormy a while ago. Now seems quiet and calm, but i sense we will have sth to think abt again.", i replied.

True enough. Just when the practise momentum seem to pick up a lil..when i get things going...pple working..my instructor drop us a big bomb. Pple who talks to be abt it and know wad i was always rumbling abt noes that i m nt v fond of our instructor. (and he always pick on me) BUt in any case, he came one day after the previous day practise looking as snob as usual. the previous nite, we reminded him tt he is conducting for my ensemble on the performance day..and he playing a solo item. then the next day, he just like purposely pulled out his hp and showed my president with an expression that says "oh, can u see? I will be flying off to germany on ur performance day. what a pity...u good luck then". ?!!? and he went on to teach other pple. Wad the freak..

After tt my VP and P came to tell me, that was like 7pm n pract just started not long. I was so fuming mad.and i got so pissed cos everything of mine was set to go as smoothly as possible tt's y we asked him the final time the previous day and now when everything is sent for printing etc...then now he just like heck this whole thing. after tt for the next 1hr+, i spent my time thinking of hw to salvage the situation..really was so helpless. my alto grp section all saw me sitting on the floor instead of the chair practicing and they came over, sat with me and i just like grumbled to them..Then the more i tot of him the instructor, the more i fumed. JUst then, he walked over to want to "train" the altos section. and he was shock to see us all sitting on the ground NOT practising. So he just like asked in a v snob way, "where are all the altos? Want to practise anot?" I was so fuming mad i just glared at him.1s..2s...3s...all the way. He asked abt 3times..I just cant turned my head away, and i just glared intensely at him...more fiercely each time..not on purposely but i just couldn't imagine how could an instructor be soooo irresponsible. U all still dun feel the same way cos i haven reveal the 2nd half of the story. after tt, he just got abit guilty or wad lar..then he just like said sth like "oh, it seems like u all are in a meeting..u all can cont to discuss ok?" then he walked away to another section. My gaze was still sticked on his dumbass face.

Ok, y i was so angry cos i got to noe his dirty lil shameful secret. That same day, i heard from seniors that he always "runs" away whenever he feel tt the ensemble is nt good enough. He would not wan to "ruin" his reputation or wadever he thinks he has. He would just make up an excuse or two just to not appear. as an instructor..or shld i make it more respectful 1st, TEACHER. how could u EVER EVER despise YOUR students like tt? 不是有教无类吗? I tot u shld have some teacher's morals to teach whoever who is willing to learn? And wad i m saying ain't without prove. THe previous alternate batches, he actually "flew their aeroplane" either a few wks BEFORE the concert and 1 of them worst, the DAY of concert itself...he suddenly rang the president and say he cant make it..flying off AGAIN. I dun believe in such shit lor. EVEN IF U REALLY HAVE TO FLY, U, AS OUR instructor...this place...as YOUR club...u shld stay..no matter wad. Also, he CHOOSE performance to WATCH. what is this all abt? If the club was ever mine, i would have just change an instructor and make a complaint, regardless whether or not it is of use. I need to voice out. This is ridiculous.

Other matters like grants and sponsorship and issues like songs etc are also issues tt trouble me...BUt these things seem minute when this instructor is in the picture. He certainly can make me flar up. my guitar mates saw an ugly side of me tt nite.

Anyway, enough of tt...things will go our way with more hard work n passion. had a meeting too..not too bad..got some stuff and issues out..and delegated work for pple...it was a fri alr...great..weekend...home...=> went hm to drop my stuff before gg out. Mum wasn't please i m gg out at first buT ke lian me..so allowed me to go. lol.

went to chinatown walk walk..then dinner...then it was alr...12+ 1am!! and i became so blur. Bought tix to watch sweeney todd at 1.4oam. But we were abit late in the end..and blur me..rushed into a theatre of the same show, NOT knowing tt it was the earlier slot theatre. SO we watched like 40min den it ended!!! We was like shocked lar!! and it was only when we were on the way home then it struck me tt i brought us to the wrong theatre! Arhhh..and the movie tix was like 10 bucks each. wah rao...faintx...BLUR...

sat went to my uncle's hse for dinner..some relative hse. Wasnt close to them..and no one near my age generation..so end up got entertained by their 2 dogs..lOl..i was pretty shag alr..But after tt travelled to my other auntie's hse cos my sis wan to play with my niece..and i end up dozing there. lOl...after tt..went to hougang with them for some pasar malam..end up closed...and my dad got HUNGry AGAIN..so we went to some coffeeshop..reached hm like at 1+ 2am lar..watched american idol recorded down by my sis till 3+. haha..

today..did nth much. But had to do housework..did some packing..etc..then dinner.dropped off stuff here and there then back hostel. there's a quiz tml. No confidence no hope. scored 0% past quiz. sianz. actually..got alot of unsettled stuff to do on my mind..just not doing it yet. lol...CNY mood? I duno..haha..

Hope this year will be a great year. Don't let me down.

"a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down..."

"bribe me like how u bribe some OTHERs...lol"

2008-01-28T00:42:00.000+08:00

OMGOMGOMG i cant believe i haven been blogging for like more than 3 wks? I think time is playing an awful trick on me! Every wkend i will like, "Ok, blogging time!" And i forget. Wahaha!

Did I mention tt its my Year 1 semester 2 in NTU alr? YEah, indeed i m. This semester, I cant get a few electives i wanted like psychology intro part 2, astrology, malay. So, i had NO choice but other rojak modules apart from some core i need to take. In the end, i forgo the rojak modules and tried taking 2 yr 2 modules. haHa..There is also this "add/drop" period in NTU whereby u get to register available modules and go for lessons and see u want to take it anot, if nt we must drop within the 2wks, else we will die die have to take it alr. And..i tried for Biosystem robotics, which was..pretty technical yet Ok, BUT boring. So i dropped it. Almost killed myself by taking a freaking 8 modules (which i could hav suffocated by now), BUt i dropped to 6 now. haha...Hopefully i can take modules i want next sem. =)

LEssons are fine for some but terrible at others. I've totally like skipped lotsa lects for my biochem II mod cos the china lecturer is simply terrible. Some others lecturers can really cure insomnia i tell u.

Anyway, I have been v v v busy with my guitar ensemble here as i m organizing their annual concert. Its really tough holding such events here cos we've got no money, no budget, no manpower, no guidance, no moltivation, no support. Frankly speaking, suddenly NP seems so much kinder to students. Haha. From setting up a comm, to booking venues, to programmes etc, every single cent has to be paid by our own. No budget. And the event MUST NOT be profitable. What the..hhaha..And our luck don't get any better when we are always bombed by rejections or unexpected sch barriers. hahah..NVm, i believe in miracles and hard work. do show me how too. =)

Due to constant working nights and vigorous practise, my eye bags and migraine and backaches and jelly limps syndromes are back! Argh! Now i m wearing back my thick nerd frame glasses to cover eye bags. Eating tons of panadol for migraine, using yoko yoko for my aches, and doing nth much for my jelly limps. Last wk damn drama. LOl. Recalling back is almost funny now. 1 morn i work up and accidentally cracked my neck and sort of sprained it. Then it cant turn till i decided to try my luck by using all my courage to twist it in the opposite direction. Very scary but it helped abit. Now better le. Then, next few days my back hurt so much (due to straining) tt i just find the exact few spots of hurting area and jab it hard. Almost fainted But it was better after. 2 days later, i was walking down some place in sch den walk halfway just sprain my ankle, cracked so loud my fren heard and saw me almost gonna collapse on the ground..But i cont walking..slowly, the still climbed up some hill. After tt finally returned back hostel and when i tot everytink will be fine, i tripped at the stairs, then bang the same leg again. Now blue black. a series of unfortunate events. hahah..

Anyway, glad I still got some chance to meet up with some peeps for outings...or chilling session. I need it to bring back a more cheerful sheena back to life again. My temper's getting shorter and shorter again as these stuffs (that i do for the sake of doing) really is dropping my tolerance level. Even my level of humour is affected. hahahaa. Maybe its just PMS. Lol.

On a brighter note. Nocturne 2008- Assortimento. Its an annual concert held in our sch ADM Auditorium selling tix at $10 only. Its gonna be a good 1.5-2hrs of good guitar music repertoire. Ranging from famous classics like Ballade...Doreamon...Serenade...to fun songs and collaborations..Niibori guitar ensemble making a whole lot of range of sounds to entertain any guitar enthusiast. Hehe..By the way, Mr. Thomas Liauw will be performing too! Don't miss it. Below is a poster of our event. DO take a lOOk and buy tix and support our event..and...ME!!!

U can also find out more from this link http://www.ntu-guitar.org/nocturne08

Hey peeps, do advertise for me kk? DO COME too~ haha...

OK, tired.. laters...

"now things start to get complicated, lets just remain steady and calm..."

marks the end of 2007

2008-01-02T02:33:00.000+08:00

Welcome 2008! YaY! Its gonna be a brand new year, brand new start, brand new wishes, brand new hopes, brand new surprises yeah.

2 wks of MIA on e blog but pls dun give up on me, cos...pictures replaces countless words. Photos to show what i've been busy with. (Apart from my holiday job)

On the 15/12/2007, i went to be the photographer for my mum's event, some Christmas Performance Cum Dinner at a CC near my hse. Photos are out BUt i reckon aunties prancing abt aren't the best thing to put on my blog. Hek Hek. Just Jk. But yeah, saw long time no c fren, Helena. Hek Hek.

On the 20/12/2007, went over to Jingting's hse to bake cheese cake. Haha. It turned out ez and fun. The rain didn't spoil my day cos the cheese cake was quite yummy(Heard from other tasters) and that...i got to meet JAVIER!!! My long time baby crush! Silly Jingting la. Showed me pics and vids of him(her neighbour's son in fact), like months ago and i just toOk fancy of him lar..SOOO cute! Argh. He was shy initially and after tt we just got along that day tt he stuck onto me and i made a fool of myself cos i was like entertaining him lar. i heard say he missed me after tt day. OoOomg..arhhhhhh giv me JAVIER.......hAHA...

Then on 21/12/2007, my annoying colleagues got a christmas food feast prepared by me cos they lazy asses throw me $50 and asked me to prepare christmas lunch for them(insisted that they wanted logcake and all), so i went to buy food on the 20/12/2007, which was also the same day i baked the cheesecake (refer to above). So rushed lar! But yeah..they were happy peeps. The pple u see are jus half of the group. Some lucky asses got their hols man. ANyway, it was fun with them. Lol.

22/12/2007, baked cooKies and muffins for my dearest frens and colleagues. It was fun BUt tiring at the same time. HAHAH..can see it was quite a mess at first BUT i got the hang of it after! HAHA..Actually went to buy stuff on the 21/12/2007 nite(which overlaps with the above event AGAIN, wow!) And yea Baked the next day. WOw. Bake lorries of it. HHAH...It turned out tt by the time tt i managed to distribute most, it was abit soft and crumbly alr cos i baked on the 22nd but only managed to giv out most like ard the end of the month. LOl. Its the tot tt counts k! HAHA..anyway, i strongly believe the taste is gr8. Lol.

Oh intermission time, FYI, mahjonging was happening concurrently on certain events too! hAHAha..

Ok, to continue, 24/12/2007 went out to settlers and was so addicted to a card game, which jus so happens tt 1 of my fren just bought from online too! ANd so, we went back to my hse and played till dawn the next day! Then since its 25th alr, we actually cont the activity at sentosa which we left my hse at 10am like tt. LOl. Wanted to go soak some sun BUt the drizzles spoiled the plan. Nvrtheless, we went to underwater world! And after still managed for some fun at the beach and dinner at superdogs. hAHa!

Was so abt to KO alr BUT the fun has jus started man. Went cycling with a few poly MO2 class peeps at east coast. Managed to cycle to changi airport. Wanted to cycle more, following the park connectors but our time was gg to be up and some were whining alr. HAHA..i m nt gonna mention who. Lol. So yeah, went for a nice dinner and yeah..hek

27/12/2007. Initial plan to meet ZX to pass her her pressie. BUt..end up SAG pple are meeting for steamboat so change plan. WEnt to meet them(tho i was late) and still manage to meet ZX and all. HAHA..nice. Ended the day with a small chat at TCC. Smooth.

Resting for 1 day...

28/12/2008, went prawning!!! LALalA. Finally! A day with the prawnies. HAH..was so rusty with my skills tt i caught pathetic number of prawns. It was a drama nite anyway, nt gonna mention BUt it ended OK with a breakfast of 40 over bbq prawns for everyone. Reached hm at 8am like tt, slpt 1 hr, got dugged out of bed to go food testing at restaurant for sis wedding. So shag BUT yeah...dragged to shop mum's stuff even after tt. Oh well.

FINALLY, 31/12/2008. last day of the year. Peeps were sorta counting on me to organise sth. But LOoK at ALL EVENTS above. 1 word. INCREDIBLE. So i decided to wait for news by others or just rest. Who noes, end up, all counted on me for sth. So, i decided dinner. YAy. DIAo..haha. Went to Asahi SAbo restaurant for dinner. Wootz. Not too bad. Nice dessert! After met a few more peeps and hang ard clarke quay. Finally settled outside Brewerks (which we wanted to get a place but couldn't cos we didn't reserve). Bought nice beer and some fun began when spray cans were bought. arh, got attacked as usual. But wad's fun when there's no fun rite? Lol. Reached hm at 3+. Who noes became a support system till ard 5+ 6am then plonked on bed.

Yeah. Enough of flooding updates. I need not even mention my mundane working life and other small meetings i hav. Wow. LoOK at it. Can u see a pitless black hole in my pocket. Alot of activities? I'm not too sure its a happening life, but its really gr8 to hav u peeps ard. I hope all of u all who spent time with me and the rest enjoyed ur time..loL..or else....jus bear with it yeah? HAHa..=)

Thanks all who made my life so much more colourful by even appearing cos u all made me noe how to live, love, cherish. Au revoir 2007, Welcome 2008. Let me think of what's new for me in 2008 for the next couple of days yeah. For now, enjoy.

"wow wow wow. surprise surprise. Did i miss anything? Happy Birthday..."

2007-12-14T11:43:00.000+08:00

This wk burnt a huge huge hole in my pocket. Went out most of the time to get gifts for pple. All dec babies arent u all lucky tt my hols are here. hAHA.. Was able to go hunt for nice gifts. Hope u all like it. =) Birthdays celebrations need not be grand or huge, just with the few pals tt u r comfy with is all tt u need to make ur day feel whole again. haha.

Performed for IGF. It was sorta a informal performance when we tot was quite formal. Wore like a waitress with white long sleeve and black pants + heels. End up we performed in an enclosed small room to those overseas pro judges tt were there to be competition judges. Just the small grp. Becos of so many technical faults, we only performed 2 outta 4 songs. =.= Worst of all, no lunch or wad was catered for us, so we were practically starving while the judges get their HIGH TEA. The most interesting part of my day actually came after the performance. I didn't return with the rest to NTU cos i was to meet my mum for her shopping. But i was starving, so i went off to bugis foodcourt with 1 of my fren(previously met him in guitar club in TJC but not familiar at all) to grab lunch. We were gorging on our food when he offered to get drinks for us, and so he walked off, leaving his half eaten fried rice on our table. As i tilted my head down to swallow a mouth of soup, the fried rice was cleared away! When i lifted my head, it was gone! And i only looked down for perhaps a few seconds? I practically panicked lar. Then when he returned he still didn't realized cos he was happily slurping his drink until i asked him if he still wanted to eat more of his fried rice. And his eyes widened..and..aiyo..paiseh like duno wad sia. =.=

Anyway, these 2 wks altho i have been spending alot alot alot alot, which i think i need to resort to finding a sugar daddy already, i get to meet up with quite alot of pple which i m quite happy abt. haha..oh, and spend time with my mum on certain days too. I guess..altho i run ard alot..i m still a friends n family person..Giv me nothin but companionship from my loved ones still makes me quite a happy person. haha..

Did my subject registration also. Taking 6 modules if i managed to past every sub tis sem. Results will be out by end dec...afraid but i can do nth abt it le. Sch req' us to register for new sub even be4 we noe if we would pass lor. If fail must register AGAIn lor..wad's e pt sia..Ha. Next sem..if can..is 3 core 3 elective..but..its really purely science n 1 GP-like english module..gonna try take yr 2 modules..haha..overestimation? We'll c again..ha..

A few pics from Heng & Gina Bday Celebration...

And...Pengaram Trip...

OH YAR..LASTLY..WHO WANNA HANG OUT FOR CHRISTMASS GATHERINGGGGGG...??? TELL ME...!!!

Exams OUT! Its Party Time Baby!!!!

2007-12-02T17:28:00.000+08:00

It's been 2 weeks for rest for this blog. But the good news is...my exams are over! Finally over and done with for this semester! Having my holidays nows. Woohoo! My last few exams were a mess but hopefully heaven's watching over me and be merciful enough to allow me to pass every module smoothly. I DUN WANNA repeat anything! Its horrifying. hAha..

So, my wkend was fully packed directly after thur's exams. I went back to hostel to packed my stuff and got dressed to go for my couz's wedding dinner. So funny. Everyone getting married all ard the same period this yr. Just these 2 mths 3 of the couples held their wedding dinner, 2 of which are chinese-malay couple. Haha..my family roots seems to always get hand in hand with pple from different racial background or nationality. Mum's side all different Indo pple..den mixed Sg...HK...Msia..Dad's side got...Malay..Eurasian..Etc..wow..Duno issit in our genes..Hah..hopefully as wad we always see, their kids who will be mixed blood are all handsome pretty kids as well sia. Lol.

Then on fri, wanted to ask more peeps along..but all either still schooling..just started exams..or working. Went to pengaram Msia, tip of johor bUt more rural like Pulau Ubin for cycling trip with my family for 1 day 1 night. The initial idea was a cruise but changed to this. And my sis cant go..So end up this trip my parents...2 of their frens..me and jer went. The trip was quite a cool one i must say..cos getting away for a day in a slower pace country was good. TooK an hour boat ride there..got seasick tho..almost puked. Then went to find a place to stay..cycled abit..walked ard and stuff. 1 thing good abt gg with parents is that the food and lodging wouldn't be a prob..BUt..1 thing bad is tt they keep wanting to REST or EAT. SO they were practically eating and relaxing most of the time..everytime they wanna sit down to eat sth i will frown..i mean like HELLO...we JUST ATE??!?! Haha..BUt it the company there was alrite lar..my dad was abit cranky with jokes..mum the usual talkative host..her frens were frenly..and jer could just talk to them..so was alrite. Went to some temples to Look at the architecture...the small alleys..the small shops..The place has v little shops and the shops closed quite early i must say..ard 10? No night market anything..so it was more of our self entertainment lar..BUt it was alrite i guess..Ha..But Boo...next morn be4 gg off i went to the beach for a walk and i sort of scratched my leg when i slipped at the reef...bled abit..sian diao...hAha..But alrite..pics will be loaded soon! hAha..

Yest after returning back ard late noon...separated with my mum's frens...and all..then evening went to meet some peeps to get wedding giv for our fren for their ROM today. WOw..another red bomb. haha..My 1st poly fren who settled down! hAha..Giving them my blessings always..and hope they can be very happy tgr! Their wonderful days have just started. haHA..Oh..yest nite still managed to squeeze some time to meet some other peeps to chill after getting the pressie..wootz..tiring but fruitful. Holidays hav just started and the feeling's quite cool. Not tt its packed that's cool. Its only momentarily packed i guess. BUt..its the feeling of no exam stress that pulled the whole load off my mind that's the relief.

Next wk gotta go for guitar pract everyday till performance on the 6th @ far east for International Guitar Fest '07. Then i m considering gg back to the admin to work..if nt for my allowance..haha...and wanna go do some sports if possible..hmmmm..haha...Dunno wad i wanna do rite now sia....blur and unplanned...Later gg out to EAT to celebrate dad's birthday..And i m SOOO SLpy rite now..shall go catch some slp..laters.

Here are some selected pics at Barney's birthday...

"pls say that one more time, no..make tt infinite times..."

2007-11-17T02:09:00.000+08:00

Sighing is a temporal release of stress but too much ain't gonna help right? In any case...HAIZZZZZZZ. Alright, virtually shld feel better.

Went for Ah kuang's bday chalet last wkend. Too bad i only stayed for a night. Wanted to mix ard with them longer but time really did nt allow me to do so. Anyway, went hm to drop my stuffs on fri and set off for his chalet with Jer at 7+. We thought we were late, cos the msged said meet at 4. But when we arrived at ard 8+ 9, there were only 4pple. hAHA..Ate pizza n kfc for dinner with them. Wootx. Its been eons since i touched these food sia. hAHA..then was entertained by the extremely small tv till everyone came. They didnt call too many, but yeah, small grps r cosier. Hek. Then cos it was fishy n doggy's bday too, so we celebrated 3 in 1 bday. hAHA..As NPS USUAL practice, they started smashing BOXES of whipped cream, water bombs all prepared in advance alr sia. I was like avoiding and avoiding but still tio smashed. =.= Then when i helped them WASH n MOP the floor, the guys FLOOD back into the chalet and throw MORE whip cream. Some even spread whip cream over my neck and all. Eeee. Wah raoz, i help u all clean up still kena. %#%& Haha...What's more exciting is tt outside our chalet got a fire hydrant, and the guys went to take it and spray sia..suddenly reminding me of the paris hilton car washing commercial. hAH...Finally, cleared up and washed up and it was like ard 1+am liao. hAHA..Was further entertained by some dice gambling game till 2+ den watch pple play video game while the peeps grp by grp left to play cards..walk walk..etc. hAHA..end up slacking reading while watching jer play some silly video games till ard 6am then crawl to the bed to nap awhile. Too bad, next day noon left le. Went to White sands eat den go hm do work le. sadden. WIll post pics after i got them.

The preceding days after the chalet were horrendous. Really horrendous. Was trying to figure out my maths notes...and became crazy the next few days. Finally wed came and went for my maths finals. Buang. Stupid tutor dun usually mark n allow error-brought-forward. If she dun be lenient, den...HAHAHA alr. By the time exam finsh alr like evening liao lar. Then have to chiong forensics n a whole damn book of psychology. Was like so helpless lar. Kaoz. Went to read thru the back chaps of psychology 1st and my progress was like snail la. By 1am, i only read thru a few chaps and i HAVEn touched forensics. Was practically going mad lar. and i was darn tired. Dunked red bull and all BUt lousy system just dun register. Finally gave up at ard 2am and went to browse thru forensics for like 45min (do u ever study a sub for 45min and go take FINAL exam?!?!) then went to plonk on bed and TRY to get to bed WITH guilt.

Next day went for psychology exam 1st and it was bloooody long and tedious lar! NEVER in my exams i get sooo exhausted. Total of 90+ questions. Every silly damn qn was like a PARAGRAPH of words long. even multiple choice. And its not easy sentences. Every sentence have to read damn long to comprehend then do. I did like 30qn like tt my eyes teared liao. hAha..Then i read some qn, i totally...siao liao. hAHA...Arhhh. Oh, and i was MOLTIVATED to finish the exam ONLY becos i was VVVV hungry. Then after the exam got 1hour like tt to forensics. Went to eat instead of studying. Then forensics started at 5pm, which was my most vulnerable time, cos i get v slpy easily. Then as expected, i went in, took the test for like 45min, i couldn't take it, i fell aslp for like a few mins!!!! ARgh! hAha..Then my worst horror during 1 silly case scenario where we are supposed to ans some qns after "investigation" and reconstruct the scene etc (which is worth HALF of the WHOLE paper's marks), i did some stunts. Some killer event which was supposed to be normal, i just cant think LOGICALLY and i ended up writing tt the killer murdered the victim with a DURIAN!!! FAINTX...tt's like the last thing ANYONE will write for their FINAL EXAM LAR! How could i gamble my marks away with such..such..CREATIVE answers sia. Tak boleh tahan. Bleah...

Nvrtheless, the whole wk really tooK my soul away, so went to meet a few peeps go eat dinner and chill. After tt felt abit more human again, but was damn shag. Slpt in front of my comp while i waited for some stuff to load. +.=. HAHa..my home the bed is still the best, esp when i m tired...slpt all the way from 3am till 11am today sia. haha..today also slacked quite alot. tml gg for a bday party. Think i will just drop by awhile den run le..TOO much to study for next few exams...cant perform stunt liao sia. Haha..Maybe after bday celebration go home revise again..Hope i dun fall into the temptation of my bed. Ok...i go watch some tv den zzz liao. Yawns.

"looking forward...and forward...and forward...."

2007-11-09T10:03:00.000+08:00

Its post-deepavali pple. Do u still feel the LIGHTS? Ha. Alrite, gonna blog earlier this wk cos i'm gonna be quite busy during the wkends. This week i can say is 匆匆忙忙的过(past v hastily). Have been mugging quite abit for my Physics midterm exams for 3/4 of the week since my paper was on wed. Can just say physics is nt ez, nt too hard, but v tricky. And the tons of formulas to remb is simply overwhelming. Then i was so hyper the nite b4 tt i only slept at 2+am and my paper was 8.30am next day...and i only 惊醒 (woke in fright) at like 7.50am lar. hAha..

After tt paper went to collect my biochem midterm exam paper..I passed nicely! yeah!!! Finally...its the only paper tt i was ever not worried abt. Duno its a good thing or a bad thing. Cos y? Its biology tt i wasn't fretting abt..and i m in Chemistry course. Seems like biology is more of my forte. Yyyy. I seem to always make some decisions tt i noe would be good n wouldn't harm BUt yet make me miserable. hAHah. Nvm, 船到桥头自然直（meaning the route will straighten itself by the end of the course). After i reached hostel n checked mail..realized physics exam ans reveal le. went to check...couldn't remb some ans..BUt i think i just passed! haha. Hopefully man..hopefully. But yea. Dun wanna think abt it le. haha..Slacked for 1 day..watched ratatouille and high sch musical in btw hostel hours to relieve stress. Even went to JP, IMM, JE to find some stuffs! haha.

Ehz, but now scared liao. Cos next wk start of final exams. NExt wed maths paper, thur 2 papers, forensics and psychology. Xiong. Hoping for miracles. BUT its always like tt! So many temptations like devil trying to lure u into his trap! So many gatherings and all! I missed sooo many outings and all. And today evening i gonna go frenz chalet for 1 nite. Cos celebrating a few peeps bday. I love celebrating u all the bday..But argh! my grades! =.= haiz..cos i was booked like almost a mth in advance? So yeah...Hope i can reach hm early on sat den can cont my revision man. hAha..CAnt wait for exams to end yet get panic attacks when the tots of exams are coming...1st time fret exam till like tt. hAHa.

Its mugging time pple. Not reminding myself the fact tt mugging started looong time ago But mooo power is gonna push myself even more! Grrr! Ha..The hols are wad is pushing me forward.

OK lar, i go back mug 1st. Got class later and..i wanna mug abit be4 gg chalet later. tata~~

"the strength work as one."

2007-11-03T19:35:00.000+08:00

yeah, i m back. Midterm is still going on and i just ended my Biochem paper last thur. Not fabulous but at least i noe i wun flunk this paper. Didn't really had the time to prepare for it becos quite a number of things had to b done last wk. Mon had a GE meeting for the last time be4 exams, tue and wed had guitar pract. Was reluctant to go bUt well, had to force myself to go since its the last pract be4 stopping for exams. Silly instructor picked on me again. Dun understand y also. Perhaps i m nt a perfect player there..i nv pract his scores only during pract so i tend to make mistakes..But still, its not fair to do tt in front of everyone rite...pin point someone till it really throws ur face. I m nt the only one who got such treatment..but usually the few of us tt i noe. Poor us.

So far, i made a decision n unless there is a v v v v good reason for me to NOT do so, i will execute my plan. hAhA. The plan is to quit the club after my 1 yr term of committe role and after staging the concert. Will try to make the concert a success and organise my stuff and leave. If i can still stay in hostel for the next yr, i might consider due to the convenience sake of it. But there are still a few reasons y i prefer not to continue my stay tho'. So it depends. Anyway, i dun think i m that hard-up to stay in hall. So, quitting the club is nt gonna affect my decision. I dun need the extra "responsibilities" to make my Uni life exciting.

Oh, But on one note, there are a few guitarists whom i felt are really really talented pple. They can really make u watch them play the guitar endlessly. U hum a song, they play it immediately with improvisations of their own. Jazz, tango, folk, classical, pop, bring it on, u ask for it, u get it. Wow..this is one thing i felt tt is the strong pt. of the pple there..talent pple can be found. Oh OH, and not forgeting to mention...i manage to catch the "live performance" of one of my favourite music pieces "Czardus" played by a prodigy there. hAHa..The piece made my day la. Of cos i've heard many other excellent pieces..and it made me smile a lil.

As usual, every time when its nearing exams or tests, 1 thing tt i'll improve or "master" back, is my guitar skills. Cos it will always be ard me. It is my destress tool, which results in more painful fingers. Haha...Hope my roomie doesn't mind. Come to think of it, i think i've been pretty "noisy" this whole wk. My body has been down with running nose+cough+sore throat+migraines. So, i have been blowing my nose and coughing through days from last wk till now. I think i used up a box of tissue +ard 6packet tissues a day. Germs floating ard my room everywhere. eh...abit ashamed abt tt..sorry ah roomie, hAHa..

Suddenly remembered a short conversation tt i had with roomie which i tot was pretty funny. It started when we were walking back to hostel from after lunch with a remaining curry puff and we were talking sth abt passing this curry to some eye-candies. So...

R : U pass to XXX and share it lar.

Me: Dun want lar, ur curry puff, u pass to whoever lar.

R : Nvm, u take it. *swings curry puff here n there*

Me: Aiya, u just bite the curry in the middle and pass the curry puff to XXX lar. Then tell him, " See, no matter where u start biting, u will still meet me in the middle". So sweet right?

R :...?!?!? OMG..i cant believe u said tt....*faintx everywhere*

Hahaha..wah raoz..i cant believe i can think of such phrases for my roomie la. She definitely gives me inspiration man.

Anyway, i think i quite suay for the past 2 days. Cheated feelings twice. Once after pract when a club member offered to send a few of my frens and i back to hostel. I din noe this person so i declined but my fren wanted the ride so ask me to tag along so i hesitantly followed. My hall could be the 1st few tt he wud past by but he went by another route so i became the last. In the car, i was jus blabbering abt some saxophone thing when he said he got a sax and asked if i wanna see it. I shaked my head and didn't reply after. The next thing i noe is tt he turned into a foreign carpark and stopped the car in front of a sch building lab and say we can go in n view his sax! I was darn shock la, so i just stun n follow him. He tooK the sax out..explained as he fixed it and started blowing some exercise pieces. I looKed totally disinterested within a few min cos i became quite pissed. I was sick n i had my mid term the next day (which was y i agreed on the ride back which i assume would be faster) and then i was brought there. He even asked me to try blowing his sax as he taught briefly which i would have been interested IF things WERE not DONE that way. So i rejected all offers and just stared at him. Later he showed me a video which i was pretty amused but everything was so wrong that my mood just hit my head and i walked off saying tt i was leaving and he finally packed up n got me back. Diao. ridiculous. I dun even noe him..nt even his name. Irritating. I wun mention the next incident (not the guy anymore) but its somewhat along the same cause. Got cheated into gg somewhere else n wasted all my time n time to rest when i planned to reach hm asap from hostel yest.

Yeah..so i m guillible or just silly. Haha...who noes. anyway the matter's over, i dun care alr.

Next wk...alot to think abt...physics midterm..some external events to plan my time abt cos the wk after is the start of my finals...give me my red-bull-coffee-expresso concoction leh...

"live dreams tgr."

2007-10-26T17:02:00.000+08:00

Uni life is confusing me. mixing up my life. Keep having v mixed feelings. The feeling cannot really be described or explained, but its like someone purposely keep messing up my room again and again after I've spent whole darn days packing it. The more the person does it, the more disorientated I get and I get all cranky and poop.

Its been quite a ride this far. Having rode such a journey this far with numerous pushes and pulls is an accomplishment. But one can nv be complacent. Look at wad has happened now. staying in my comfort zone and comparing oneself with other pple worst off will make life seem simpler..happier. But having being in such a situation now, reality sets off and yet my life's nt moving. One fine day i looked up and realised that i m at the back of the crowd. Trying to pick up my speed a lil' but i stumble and fall. Lagging behind means nth, cos its like natural when competition started way long ago but i only started walking now. But, the least that could have happened was that i dun keep getting weak in my knees and fall hard onto the ground. Even crawling constantly is better than always falling and breaking my momentum.

Apparently, i just kept falling. And its having an impact on me. Doing what i can like a freakin' mugger, like a freakin' loner, like a freakin' noob, like a freakin' dumbass and that's wad i've received. great. life is fair. stupid nose better stop dripping and silly tonsils better contract to its normal size or else..

One example of self-failure. These wks can really tear me apart, rip my insides out. The cycle of studying and falling ill but continued studying repeated wk after wk..and yeah, i failed my mid-terms, badly. Ha. What went wrong, i asked myself, but soul searching can nv take place fast enough before the next shit falls. Anger and guilt just shoots up.

Also, do take a good look ard u and care of those who really care about u. For this, its really nv too late to start. Its nt that i just realised it. But, its just a message that i would like to re-emphasize again. Life is too fragile to be taken as a joke all the time. There's a short story to tell.

On the 1st day of guitar practise, a gal was feeling bored with pract when a boy who happens to be bored sat beside her and start to make friends with her. They got along quite alrite and they had company with a few of others soon and start to hang out more often at the club cos pract wasn't as bad afterall becos of each other. Coincidently, the bunch happen to be in the same small grp practise and soon became pals. Weeks past and altho this bunch only meet during practises, their bond became stronger. However, since all have their own cliques or say, lives outside of pract, they just kept their bond as there. After merely a few mths of friendship and staying in hostel, the grp decided to meet up for guitar pract on one sun. however on sat evening, the boy text the girl saying he wanna stay home slack for 1 more day. Thus, the pract was cancelled. On mon morn, the girl and the rest received a msg and an email. The boy passed away. All of them were shocked, cos the boy seemed healthy and all. They went his wake the next day in disbelief but all left with a heartache cos they saw wad they heard was true..

This is for ya, my friend, rest in peace. Thank u for ya friendship..

"its more than what we see that makes the feeling complete"

2007-10-22T01:14:00.000+08:00

Another week flew past just like that! HoHoHo. Nth exceptionally interesting happened during the wkdays. usual classes and lects, usual skipping of some tutorials cos i cant affort to go for all due to assignments deadlines or tests. However this wk, i have been trying to catch up on my calculus topics becos of my mid-term exam last sat! Everyday tried understanding it till i got bonkers. Even my senses became bonkers. Noe y? let me pick 3 instances for u.

1, i was having lect on a day n a friend of my asked me when was i able to catch up with her and company. Then i had to push e gathering away cos of my calculus exam. Then she replied sth like, "its sad cos 'ey r going on fri." i couldn't comprehend the msg! I was like, "ok...who's ey?" and she replied me with e list of names. And guess wad? i said,"u nv answered my qn. who's EY?" It was only after a while, i realised 'ey meant THEY. I mean, i use such languages all the time la! and i cud even tot tt EY was a person at tt time. =.=

2, i was dragged out for breakfast by my roomie 1 morn and all was fine until after i bathed and settled down in front of my desk, just wanting to start doing calculus WHEN....i started sneezing at a rate of around 3sneezes/min. No joke! Really tt many times. Tis went on all the way thru classes and all till nite time. And my nose became red and face became puffy. I used up 5 thick packs of tissue and a box and a 1/2 of those long box tissues. Even my roomie couldn't understood y. Haha. Allergy to calculus. The next day, it miraculously became well.

3. As i was studying maths after that allergy day, i was feeling quite alrite in e day during classes but nite when i touched my calculus book, i got real dizzy and couldn't even walk striaght tt i just staggered to my bed and laid paralysed for abt 2hrs, before i can bring my head up. >.<

See lar. hearing, smelling and vision affected. Faintx. But its OK! Cos after e blue days, there are bound to be better days! Sat approached! And i got up early to bathe and pack my stuff, went for calculus exam. Tho' tough but at least i think i tried and shld be able to pass. Haha. No mood to sit in further for chemistry lect so i went hm to put my stuff and unpack. after, went to meet pals for family concert! We managed to get a big pool of alumnis to go with us! Yay!

It was my 1st time watching NPS concert as an audience too. So was quite excited. hohoho. It was alrite lar. I think this time i see wad wasn't there in the past- their strength. Really alot of freshies performing. But v few seniors lar. haha. And..ALOT alOT of gals. Duno y. Haha. Can see their effort lar. but i think due to time constraint, they didn't hav much time to prepare for tis concert. Nvetheless, good effort pple! =)

Went ala meen for dinner after. Double yay! Ate the pattaya there. Wah seh. shiok. Other places cant compare man. haha..then after waited for plans. End up gg liquid kitchen to pub, play silly games and talked cock till e place closed. LOl. Till ard 3 headed hm cos shag le. LOl. i wonder did sum1 overheard wad jer n i were talking abt as we walked along e road...cos if so...oppx, sorry, dun get offended! It wasn't meant to be taken tt directly of wad u heard! =X At least my wkend wasn't tt bad. Today spend my day at hm doing stuffs and it was gr8. =)) Wkends are pleasurable. =)

"let e company blow e gloomy clouds away"

2007-10-15T21:45:00.000+08:00

Its nv too easy to maintain a blog when u r living in the hostel and the most common thing to do here is to slack, eat, surf net. Lol.

I was abit surprised by the concern of many pple who read my blog. Alot tot i failed my subs and got concerned. Haha..thx peeps, i appreciate it. FYI, i didn't fare too well in the tests so far..But nv fail major exams (tho' failed some quizzes) but will try'ta pick myself up soon. Haha..was still feeling quite low abt it somehow but just pray tt things will come by easily soon. Haha..gambette.

Things were pretty much hectic these few weeks. If i still didn't tell u all, i m in NTU guitar club. Been taking hours off everyday for meetings and all. Somehow its nt really worth it now, i think. Initially it was more for the passion for guitar to live on and for points to stay in hall. Now tt staying in hall isn't tt superb, and um, there are many things which i felt strongly abt for ECA clubs here, its nt tt moltivating to go for ECAs anymore. At least tt's how i felt. BUT, I m now their special project officer, of next yr's concert! So, pls pls pls. If u r free, come and watch kk??? At least come support me! haha..I will update on it again! Ha...

Anyway, alr blending in living with my roommate. Haha. THink she's used to my picky style on cleanliness and my craziness and my late nights and my weird habits and etc etc etc. HahaHA...Can say living with sum1 and only having 4 walls surrounding us will just force all our weird habits to be shown all out. HAh...lunatic acts of violence can just drive u nuts or crack u up after a whole day of sch. we really SHLD moltivate each other to study...RIGHT? *scratches head* NTU is really an isolated island from the world cos' sometimes u realised if u stay in hostel u will just get to a pt. tt u r simply too lazy to take a feeder bus, which is crowded most of the time, out to boonlay even before u can travel to ur destination. Haha.

Woots. Went out to celebrate Alvin's bday yest! Happy Birthday ALVIN!!! haha...Was so surprised the response was so positive. Msged 15 pple and all 15 pple went! *applaud for all* Shld have more outings like tt if possible. Simply miss u guys. Just thinking tt last time we can just hang out every few days or have fun-filled activities during weekends without worrying much about uni life, work, and life! ANYWAY, we went to eat Thai Express. wah, hot stuff...duno issit chilli on sale on Raya day. haha..Everyone just kept refilling our glasses of water lar. Haha..Went out till 5+am..woah..shag.

Oh yar, Happy Hari Raya to ALL! its for everyone too!~ So cleanse ur souls and live on better than ever. haha..

"let's take a deep breath and carry on."

end of hol, start sch again, siansation.

2007-10-01T13:07:00.000+08:00

HO HO HO. Happy Children's Day! Y i've got NO holiday?!? Darnz. Nvm, its still a nice day to go ard smiling cos its still for anyone whom believe they still have some youth to celebrate. hekhek.

Its the start of sch again after wad was so -called a wk's break. Hw did i spend my last few days of hol? I've been working from thur to sat. Haha. Finally decided to drag my feet to work from thur. The feeling of working is alrite on hols but i can tell u its darn exhausting to work too while u r sching. Haha. Then on fri, did sth interesting. Went to jer's ns mid-autumn celebration. Nt tt THAT is interesting, it was the fact tt they had a karaoke competition tt's interesting. Haha.. I actually burnt a few songs tt jer might b interested to sing, and cos the rest of his campmates din prepare any song, 5 out of 6 songs i burnt were used by them to sing. They had NO choice. Haha...my cd became IMPT tt nite. hahahaha...after tt whole event, went over to clarke quay, saw some lantern decorations but nv bring cam! argh. nvm. And met up with some bakguasss at settlers. hahaha... it was hilarious la. every brainless game we played there really cracked us up. And i mean, EVERY. Can u imagine even the staffs there notice our noise level n consequently brought games tt are almost brainless and funny. LoL. We wanted to end the night in the wee hrs by sparkles but we din bring lighter. Nvm, NEXT TIME. hehe. I miss bakguas! haha...

On sat, i cant believed i manage to wake and drag my feet to work, after like reaching hm at like wad..3am on fri? haha..But ok lar. reached at 12 n i worked all the way..till guess wad..ard 10pm. after 5pm was like alone in office la. kaoz. haha. finished 3/4 for tt work but buai tahan so left le. haha..

Was so tired rite? sun morn my mum dragged us out to eat joochiat bak kut teh...haha..was like half-eating half slping liao la. Then she din wanna go hm, which i insisted i wanted to! cos i haven done any tut or wadever. she said v fast de..and we went katong complex..and..she shopped till 2!!! arh. But my dad was like e poorest thing of all, cos my sis n i were so bored we went to shop for perfume..and jus nice my mum saw n take the chance swipe dad's supp cc card! haha..Then dad ran away. really. he dun wan tag along after tt, go drink teh. haha...conclusion of tt day? no use running away from ur wife during shopping unless ur cc is not with her. if nt, end of the day, u will still b broke. hahaha...

My laughter was short-lived after, cos i din managed to study my maths quiz today(mon). I sorta PS my old clique cos of the quiz but got forced to go out with family which was ironic n not much of a choice so hai, gonna buang another maths quiz. duno wad's up with me also, cant seem to study well. its like a term le, results sux lor..50+ 60+. wad honours lor. bleah...haha...hope i can get my momentum gg soon!

P.S to old clique: Sorry guys to PS. It was involuntary! Hope u all understand. we'll meet soon again yeah? miss ya all too. =)

"with duties and responsibilties all ard, we just needa hav more faith n patience to see better days."

hibernation in action!

2007-09-26T12:13:00.000+08:00

These few days have been the most most most relaxing days of my life! My mum has been a very happy soul too(Gleeing all the way n cooking nice food). haha. I've been staying home most of my time since sun till now, except for the time i've been out at sch. Was planning to work since mon BUT my fatigue got the better of me. To avoid using e panda patches AND to heal them, i decided to hibernate at hm.

Mon i dragged my feet to sch in the noon just for a 30min psychology research programme (RP) which i hav to fulfil for a module la. So silly, ask alot of stuff but i cant reveal cos' its confidental. however, for tis, they asked more of hw i feel abt myself. Then, i managed to cmplate all e statements, But i tot, 'wah, the english is making me sick. for 1 section, it all starts with "I am..."'.Lol.

Then yest, went to sch for NTU Guitar (GE) small grp. Sian. Quite a waste of time. Travel all e way for tt 2hrs. =.= If only things were better. HAha. But yup, parents were so sweet to pick me up after tt and had dinner tgr. Fried prawn mee + oyster omelette+ vegs! Yummy! At an alley ard eunos/changi rd there..cool, din noe the place sells nice food! Haha.

Plus today, i hav officially rested for a couple of days le. Time at hm n with ur loved ones n frens are wonderful. haha. U wouldn't settle for e least man, minus those naggings or arguements la. ha.

Tml gonna work till sat ba. Haha..Back to work. Still've got sch work to catch up. Lol. That's e life of a poor undergrad. Who wanna b my sugardad/mummy. I promise to b a NICE kid. hek hek...

Think later if i gonna go out is to pass stuff to sum1. yippie. Got lotsa new movies n songs for entertainment today! (if i m bored at sch work) hehe...yay. =)

P.S: Anyone interested to go Chinese garden lantern fest? LOL.

"A bad day will always seem better when we focus on every other positive things that's happening ard us. =)"

2 mths of sch!

2007-09-24T00:52:00.000+08:00

woohoo. finally back home! And....back to my blogging peeps. its been 2 mths of hostel staying and all i can say is...home is still the best. Haha. Nth compares. =)

The good thing of hostel staying is, i can go take naps in btw breaks, n i've got almost like max. freedom on mon to thurs. Cos' i've got no curfew. smooth. hahah..However, 1 thing i realize is that...staying in hostel really is tiring boy. Not fully sure y yet. But its darn tiring. No matter when u slp, how much u slp, wad u do, u r STILL tired. Haha... So, thanks to hostel staying, my eye bags n dark eye rings r out once again.

Altho its been 2 mths, i m still trying to get use to my life there. On a lighter note, i've actually started hanging out the westies area quite alot for the 1st few wks there alr cos the other places really seem soooo far. Haha..except for wkends when i'm back hm la.

Anyway, staying in hostel creates a love/hate r/s tt i hav for my roomie. Nt tt its nt alr this way, but it proves the pt more. haha...surviving tgr n making everyday a live-a-ble day for each other is nt an ez task yea. somemore is some1 u've nv lived be4 n face like full 24hrs everyday, its...interesting yea (life is so full of candies ard HUH. HAHAHA). haha..its all up to ur guessing how's things. Shan't say much or i'll get whacked. haha.

Just ended my mid-term exams. Corked up. whole wk was hell when i ain't e sort who listens in lect or tut, so trying to squeeze everything in was alr a prob. HAHA! hell, slp deprivation. Dun b surprised if u hear tt i m flunking it. Dun think tt its impossible. I KNOW i DID already. haha. Told ya sch wasn't ez. I mean, my course at least. Bloody hell. haha...

So now, i've got a 1 wk recess break. supposedly a study wk BEFORE the mid-term but my faculty decided to play smart n giv us our exams be4 dat, god noes y. But yeah. Shld b only gg back to sch once or twice. See if i can use tis break to catch up with my work, go work part time, and catch up with pals too. so CALL ME~ haha.

And v funny wor. Almost every fri got someone's bday. so HAPPY BDAY PPLE! Those i cud make it hope u enjoyed ur celebration and those i CMI due to other stuffff sooo sorrryyy.. BUT still wish u had ur loveliest bday ever. Hek hek.

Will cont' to update regularly again alr. since i m back..so y nt yea? hahah... laterz!

Side-Note: My hp bill was Ok this mth (finally for 1 mth!) and, my parents bought me a mini-fridge to put at hostel!!! Yeah!!! A REAL fridge!!! Milk!!! =)))

"woah woah woah, all i can say is...a hard decision by us. But, it may be worth it. So, work hard n hope for a better day. haha...thx till now."

pack pack pack soon~~

2007-07-27T12:17:00.000+08:00

its time to pack soon, cos' i'm moving into hall (hostel) soon!~!~! hahaha...yay. =)

finally, i REALLY quitted my job on wed. I must say my colleagues were splendid work-mates la. They hav been guiding me thru' till i got independant, and they nv leave me out frm any gatherings, any jokes, any extra OT lobangs. =.= haha.. alrite lar, they r nice. =)

actually, for the past whole wk also, been meeting peeps here n there to catch up a lil'. haha..i guess working really made me miss u alllllll. Those i haven't met up, pls. get to me soon yea *hint hints*. hahaha..

Yest was also a busy day i spposed. Woke early to prepare scores to past to junior..then lab coat to pass to jingting for her own stuff and went out in noon to get some necessities for hall. ANd its like buying normal stuff like toiletries, bedsheets..pillow n all...not even finished buying all but it cost like a BOMB alr lar! Faintx. haha..

After tt, lugged it near to my fren's hse. And i rushed down to NP. by rite gotta go SAG pass JT the labcoat, NPS pass BY the scores n rush to dance rehearsal. But cos i was too late. haha..REhearsal starts 6. I reached sch at 8 le...oppx...SO met all of 'em at bus stop instead n rushed to pract. haha..When reached there, got to pract immediately n i almost fainted when i know i had to be jump n be carried and flipped by someone...OMG..OMG..OMG..*getting all wobbly*. I m like sooo heavy lar! Kaoz...Then hor, every1 was like anticipating me to jump lar. THey all stopped practising n watch me jump...faintx....And i jumped! double faintx..and he didn't collapse! Triple faintx.Wow..somemore he say nt heavy!??!? Quaternary faintx! Is he alrite? Out of his mind? hahahaha..OMG. CMI. haha..Mummy...i dun wan perform le lar! *whines*

ANother miraculous tink is tt i got letter of exemption from NTU. I tink alot of pple will hate me cos i told them that i dun tink i will accept any exemptions, cos i doubt i will get alot of it and if exempted then maybe will miss out on the basics..cos in poly quite specialised ma..then nv touch some subs they may be teaching, BUT HOR...i got to b exempted from 5 MODULES...wow. CAn u even believe it?!?!? Its like 3 chem modules + 2 PHYSICS modules! 3 chem is alr abit wow...the MORE WOW-ER part is i get to exempt frm PHYSICS modules. How can tt be? I nv take physics since sec sch lor! So i was abit delighted lar. BUt also vexed, cos its like gd lar, get to save time n avoid the physics modules cos i dislike physics, but i was also scared ma..later got other phy modules i will die liao. haha..

so...after much consideration. cos i also dun hav much time to tink (received letter on 25th, deadline on 27th! wth..) i decided to take the exemption..hai. Sorry to those whom i said i wun but i did...cos its like...y not lor. somemore is nt 1 module..is 5 sia...But i will still get notes for the 5 modules n read thru lor..will still study with u all de lar..jus tt dun wan the exams. =x haha..

anyway, weather's nt too good pple, so do take care arh!

"pls take care cos its more than wad u shld do..haha...looking forward to better times~"

My 21st bday party~

2007-07-19T02:47:00.000+08:00

Okiex oKIez, stop grumbling, here i m aite? haha...

Special updates. Went for a NTU faculty camp. Wootx. OG mates made up for everything. Camp was fun overall but it tells me sth- I need more exercise. Haha...So much running in it and my legs turn wobbly by day 2 lar. Couldn't even make it down a floor of staircase without whining. Haha..Waiting for pics to be transferred so shall talk abit more abt it when my pics arrive yeah. For now, i can say tt i cant wait for sch to start..cos WORK sux...except for the $$$ rollin in. hahaha.

Anyway, as many may know, I don't like to organise parties of my own cos its damn troublesome, but cos this yr i hit the BIG 21. ARghh. My family insists on making 1 in my hm. A SIMPLE buffet dinner. Haha..luckily for me, all i HAD to do was to call my frens, as for preparations like food n all, my family settled them cos i was at camp. muahaha. I came back on fri and the party was to be on sat so yup, they arranged it ALL. MUACKS to them.

The day arrived and i was still dilly dally-ing my way thru on sat morn. Mum woke me up at like 8am like a kan jiong spider..but i nua-ed my way thru the afternoon playing games n stuff. Until it was 5pm(when pple r supposed to start coming at 5+ 6pm) i rushed off to shower n get dressed. haha. Everything was fine and frens started flowing in...they started to eat, I started my entertainment session...I lamed..joked and all. Haha. ALL were smOoth when the "FUN" began.

I was asked to follow a few downstairs and when i got to the lift lobby, they masked me and tied me up in the most unprofessional manner. The pics tells it all. They put a signboard on me. ANd made me Listen to "TAKE THE LEAD"!!! Which i got bonkers cos it was my dance performance piece..phobia k! THen..it was supposed to be jus tt 1 Bakgua grp to sabo me, but NPStrings pple GLADLY joined in..and instead of helping me, StARTED taking pics with me!!! Wad is this man! THen..they brought me downstairs..made me listen to their directions n walk in silly circles..play with strangers, get pushed ard and all. LoOk from the pics man..How could u all just watch. I m always so nice to u all...haha..

Then, luckily, jer saved me by telling them tt i SHLDN't get dirty be4 cake cutting *phew*, so i got back safely FOR THAT MOMENT. ANd But i got wet tho'..eh as in..they splashed water on me tho...so i went to change..and CUT MY CAKE!!!

Hehe...nice cake. Chocolate truffle..hehe..
Yeah...Got to take with my family, my sec sch de..NPStrings (so many generations)..Stage Art(din expect so many to come)...and the bakguas..yeah..hahah...lOOk at them...grinning from ear to ear lor..cos they all knew i had MORE coming..When I served the cake..I got smashed rite in my face.. FULL of it. COuldn't even breathe so didn't take pic. =.=

AFTER i WASHED UP, I went to chit chat for aWHILE..REALLY for AWHILE only..then jer told me i will get even dirtier still. Then i was like ehhhhh...AGAIN...so jus in case, i went to change to hm clothes. True enough, i was brought downstairs again. This time. Follow the numbers on the pic and see for urself. How cruel they were!!! THey poured coKe on me, then they told me to smash a fuLL box of eggs in different poses which i DID but i only showed a few. cos the rest v obscene. Haha. Next, they toOk ANOTHER NEW BOX of eggs and take turns to smash on me! After, they POURED FLOUR on ME! And tada! I LOOked like a cloudy puffy mascot. hahahaha......

SOOOO, i went to WASH UP AGAINNNNNNNNNNN...haha. Opened the presents n realised actually OK lar...u all r so sweet. =)). Some stayed after to sing song...and watch POTTER with me!!! haha...and e few survivors we played mahjong after tt!!!

Hahaa...wah...xiong. Was totally shagged out when u all left la. BUt it was so much fun. I haven had so much quality time with u all since wad...be4 graduation??? hahaha...

THankx all for EVERYTHING. ALtho it wasn't my actual day. The celeb was good enuff. As a matter of fact, Being 18 isn't too bad u noe...ya da ya da ya da...haha....=)))

BY the way, working till early next wk i tink..as much as i dun want to..hahah...Better meet up with me soon! haha..Tml got work..and after gg to Stage art to guide them..and....visit NPS play a few songs then D3 to dance again liao..no..to bounce. Hhaha...OK...laters! =)

"only more to come...things will only get better. =pPp"

2007-07-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

Pple always say, mishaps always happens in numbers, nt once. And so, it'd been a v suay day today. Haha...

I left my hse early for work today, n i ended up being late cos i cant squeeze into a no. of mrt. When i was finally brisk walking/running to my workplace frm e mrt, I felt a blob of liquid fell on e centre of my head n e moment i touched it, i tot to myself, "shucks". It was bird poo poo. =.= Cud u believe it? I was walking so fast n e poo can jus land on my head, in e middle somemore. Haha...I dealt with it by calmly talking out tons of wet tissue n wiping it off before gg to a toilet to clean myself.

I reported to work next n i had to do alot of manual work immediately cos we had to catch managers n pple who r constantly on e move. So i sweated myself off e whole morn. After i finally catched a breath, i was flooded with tons of docs- and i skipped lunch n breakkie to complete it. haha..in between, i keep choking on myself..=.=

Finally decided to reward myself by having dinner and chillin out with a few of my collegues cum frens of my age and it made my day better...coffee rox..hahahah

Now u understand wad is suay rite? hahaha...Tml will be a better day.

"a simple msg tt cracked e curse of an unfortunate day. thx. =)"

Post V14 7 I m as energized as the Energizer Rabbit!

2007-07-01T20:33:00.000+08:00

Its abt a wk plus after Virtuoso n i feel energized again! Haha. It was a torturous whole series of pre-virtuoso drama but YES, I once said be4 tt Virtuoso is a night of Miracles and it is. Bless me world pple! hahah. All thx to EVERYONE who put in their heart & soul into making the whole event a success. ALL of u, yes U. Haha. From V comm to main comm, to performers to frenz n families n even strangers who came for the event. U all just fit in nicely like a piece of jigsaw puzzle.

This virtuoso also nicely wrap up my full 3 yrs of wonderful experience in NP as well NPStrings. It may or may not be e last Virtuoso I participate but it feels like a last Virt to me. Haha. Thx all, esp. the encore tt we added in so last min, Canon in D, nt sure if anyone realised, but when we played the song, many of the audience cried. And it made me sentimental too. I know some weeped cos it brought back sad memories but from alumnis who went, they teared cos it brought back many many many happy moments they had with NPS. I really hope our spirit will stay strong. Remb, we can always keep the faith alive, only if we try. =)

I've seen a fren blog abt me after watching the event saying tt i m v capable and such, i tink u hav jus overly-flattered me. I m just doing wad i could, cos i m part of the team yeah. U all too, SAG, jia you. We grew from nth, now u all are almost there, i m so proud of u. Altho i dun go back as often as be4 due to work, drama will nv leave me. haha. So, work hard n i will always b ard. just remb to call. hahahahah...

SHow u all some photos. Cos there are like tons of photos but jus a few cos i m so lazy to load. Bleahz. =)

Me & Da Bian Mic!!! So Cute w/ A Botak Head

Me & Jer Yang!!! How come BMT nv giv him a toner bod..Hmmz

Me & Heng da ge..haha

Ms President Denise, me, and Jer Marrrrrrrrrr

wad e..am I talking on the phone?

Thank u soo much alumnis, u all made me whole tt day. =)

How wud i forget our Paddle-Pops of the Night?

Ok, and a few random pics...

Grinning happily on Grad Day

Jess & I

My Old Classmates...I miss u ALL...=)

Anyway, i've been busy with work n OT. But boy, m i glad i m starting sch on 6th Aug. Will be getting busy frm mid july tho. Some plans are tentative but yeah, jus to tell u all, I shld b goin on a camp from 9-13th July, then 23-27th July, 28th shld be moving in hostel. Aug shld hav briefings n sch starts! haha. These r only tentative cos even the camps or wadever hav to wait for news. But i will love to stop work..so...i tink...i will try if i can, work till 7th July, and stop. hehe...

" It was a total surprise tt we could go this distance but thx for every moment u hav given me that i m experiencing cos its been awesome n u've been great. Thank u soo much. =) "

2007-06-17T17:11:00.000+08:00

due to pumping bakgua's persistant nagging, i HAVE to blog. haha...Its been awhile but i cant help but shout..."I AM FINALLY A NGEE ANN GRADUATE!!!" MUAHAHA...a grad! It FINALLY CAME TRUE! hahah.

I grad-ed on e 13th June 2007 (Wed) @ 4.30pm. hahah. I din want to bring my parents over cos dad has to purposely take leave OR tt means mum hav to come alone, which is abit sad. So, i went alone and met up my frens instead. haha. I loOk so dumb in e grad attire la. Pics are with my frenz, when i get it i will post it up. haha.

Anyway, I hav been so intoxicated tis whole wk by drinking, due to numerous pple. Haha. Mon, went to pub with Barney n gang cos he claims he wants to meet be4 NS *SOBz* so we met, and yeah, drank heineken. Tue, went to sch to see virtuoso rehearsal, after tt head to halo bar with jon and e a few fellas..go drink..wad arh..carlsberg..then tuborg..and crap. haha. wed, at nite went CLUBBING *scandalous bg are u EVEN READING?!?!!? U!!!! #@%$* jk..haha. Club till 3am then go hm, by e time i settle down, gotta go work liao. Then thur, went singing with my collegues then drink again..TIGER..*roar*..Then fri, collegues jio go bar again..den i REFUSED..cos its too much..make me feel funny sia. ha. Its been like a whole wk of celebration!

Then yest, went to ANOTHER fren's 21st bday. PooLed in $ to get a PS3..wootz..It was quite fun overall cos i get to meet my sec sch and ex-jc mates..haha..then left ard 11plus.

So today, v guai. FATHER'S DAY! I stayed hm, went to eat family lunch and been home *aww so nice of myself*

FYI, i performed a stunt in office and now injured my leg. hahah. Its OK, Its alright. =)))

By e way, virtuoso's coming pple...23rd June (THIS COMING SAT!!!), 7pm @ Singapore Conference HAll. Tix selling at $10 and $12!!! PLs. COme!!! ITs gonna be awesome! hahah..Contact me for tix if u all wan too! hahaah...

Ok pumper, i blogged. haha...

2 wks

2007-05-31T00:24:00.000+08:00

my oh my...u really cant blame me for not wanting to blog. Dumb internet. I nv cud get into my msn, internet explorer and the websites these days. wow, its like so rare tt i can login in for ALL today. haha. Must hav been all e spam sites that had corrupted my explorer. Oh pls, giv me back my net freedom! hek hek.

Ok, jus to only mention some events tt happened becos 2 wks or more is simply too much to type. haha. I went to watch Pirates of e Carribean 3. It was too long for me. 3hrs! The effects were alrite but u need to noe abt Pirates 1 n 2 to understand e show, if nt u will get blur for e 1st half of e show. I m gonna mention e interesting bits before n after e show...before e movie, we went to eat dinner at e foodcourt n a fren offered to buy drinks for our movie at a supermarket n i asked for chilled mineral water n my fren asked for coke or lime coke. And yea! she bought my mineral water, unchilled..and my fren's one, coke light. =.= haha. Reason being, she forgotten mine was chilled n she heard my fren wrongly, she tot he asked for coke or coke LIGHT. haha.

my fren being such a gr8 pal, came up with a brilliant bakgua idea. He offered to place my unchilled mineral between both chilled bottles so tt they can spread the COOL to my bottle..aww..so nice of them..tho' eh..are we dumb or wad sia!

next senario, after e show. i walked out of e cinema grabbing my head..and when my frens asked why..i told them i got seasick (simply becos of e continuous swaying of e boat movements thru-out e show)..and the GUYS dun believe me..after a few mins..e GALS complained that they felt seasick too. WAD THE...hahahah..i didn't know such post-movie effects were contagious as well.

3rd scenario, after e show when we gals were waiting for e guys to come out of e loo (we didn't go to e loo cos e ladies were choked), i saw e Shrek 3 poster on e litted billboard and i saw Mr. Gingerbread man! I was so excited tt i took my hp out to take pic of it. And a few min later..my gal pals saw and they got so excited over it..and so..we went on to take more pics of e poster...and we nv stopped..haha..till e guys walked off. hahah...dumbo guys. Guess what..after tt i saw other strangers taking e pic of e shrek 3 poster as well. Hmm..monkey see monkey do. hek hek.

Ok, Mr. Gingerbread Man is here! How i wish i get e animated 1 in my hp..wud be so cute! haha.

Mr. Shrek & friends

OoO...3 blind mice, 3 blind mice, See how they run, see how they run...lalala

This reminds me of both a spoon and the shrek ear head-bands sold at Mac.

Then to drift away from that movie day..days passed and my collegues n i got sick on and off e wk..flu..cough..sore throat..wadever bug it was..it hovered above my work environment n we all got abit ill here n there..so yeah..blue week..today, jus nice barney somehow indirectly reminded me tt i still haven collected my grad gown frm sch n i decided to take it.

so, i made my way back to take it and i ended up in Virt. Comm meeting..which i lingered on even longer after tt to teach n guide my small grp players to play 1 of their performance piece when sth bizarre happened..1 of my members was swinging a guitar and it slapped to e ground. we din see wad happened But after e WHAM! Try to picture e scenario alrite. WhAM! We turned ard. my member pick up e guitar, and we saw e guitar looking abit distorted..but we still dunno why..and we saw a tuning peg drop to e ground n e strings hanging loosely across e guitar frets.

when we looKed closely. we got a shock. e machine head of e guitar broke of from its neck and it was twisted at such a professional crooked angle tt it looks like a machine head of an electric guitar. I was so mad cos the guitar wasn't cheap But i was equally amused. I guess pic is worth a 1000 words so let e pics speak to u instead. Take a close looK at it. ha.

Front view..looK at how badly e machine head cracked

Back view..look at its twisted angle

Side view..see how miraculously the machine head still stood at a 45 degrees angle..supported by e strings too.

A plan view of how e guitar overall looks like now. Focus is still on e head.

Have a "Nice" Day.

I guess whatever tt is unspoken is best left unsaid. hahaha..till then. laters. =)

" i m so not sure of what will happen next. things seemed like its gonna repeat again. Sometimes i hope tt u nv existed, or is it just me?"

duno.

2007-05-24T00:54:00.000+08:00

After what seems like ages, i m finally back to update u all on my life. Its been gr8...both truthfully and sacastically. hahaha.

1 gr8 thing tt happened was that NPS Guitar Mini Concert is OVER!!! Yeah! I must say everyone who was there contributed their part and effort to make it a success. This event was supposed to b internal but they tried making it public, finally it was done n the response was overall quite oK. Haha. I must say, it was a torturous wk cos of ongoing work..and slpless nites for the preparations. Made e banner, e programme booklet...e skit..finalization of songs..everything within e last 3 days be4 performance. Its like kan jiong spidey actions combined with x-men heroes efficiency..my god...crap. haha. Pictures speaks it all But too bad i dun hav e photos for that nite now..only a few practice ones..will upload once i got it. =)

Rehearsal was like dung..but miracles happened!

There's like many of such pics..wait for e performance pics! haha.

On last mon..made it a pt to return to SAG to hav a loOk. LooKing at my freshies..I suddenly felt abit more hope tt SAG shld be able to survive a lil better..and LooKing at my diligent present juniors..the comm..they are all working hard i must say to make SAG a better one...so i hope it will all come true..their hopes n dreams..haha. Had a nice lil' chat with my tcher n we few alumnis..on stories..on scripts..and suddenly..got an urge to get involve in a production again..haha...i miss writing scripts too..haha..miss the fun..haha.

been planning also on wad to make or get for a pal whose bday is arriving tis fri...finally got e idea...But yet..her bday is on fri..and e audition for virtuoso solo is also tis fri..i dun hav any intention to perform for e performance..jus to add to the numbers who want to audition to make it nicer..But..it was all a misunderstandin and to sum up..they postpone e audition 3x alr..for me..and i really need to go for tis fren's bday..cos its her 21st..i wun miss any of my impt fren's bday i guess..cos its e least i can do..to at least spend e TIME with them. haha. But..haiz..i jus guess i will hav to rush here and there ba. duno..

Jus like 15min min ago had a tiff with mum, cos of old-time issues AGAIN. She did a v rude act tt i tot she ought to feel sorry abt but she din and still want things her way, as usual. She tried packing my stuffs cos she tot it was too messy to live with which i tot was reasonably neat and she move my stuff here and there. She told me off abt my untidyness and told me she wants things to be arranged her way. And i told her tt i need things to be left MY way or else i can nv find my stuff and she cant understand cos she thinks its bullshit tt i cant find my stuff if everytink is neatly in place. But, personally, i feel tt only those who lives in a organised-disorganized room will understand. We such pple seemed untidy cos our things may clutter together, but the place we put are prominent enough to remb. haha. Anyway, pt. is, after she fought verbally with me, she noes tt i hav my logic, she rack up more rubbish of e past and try to win me again. Again when she loses, she simply just use her low education status to try and say tt i can talk back cos i hav higher education than her and is better with words. wtf. and yada yada. I jus need some peace after a whole day's work, thank u very much.

another heavy mood has set in my office becos 1 perm staff actually resigned due to clashes with my collegues which i felt was a pity becos she jus got promoted not long. A v nice capable working lady, a caring mother, and a funny senior to me. She tooK care and helped me out when she cud and i was so shocked tt she is going. I guess e she could hav hung on a couple of years more to retirement But e environment made it unbearable with direct confrontations happening every now and then becos of working style. I guess she toOk care of me like a daughter and so i was quite sad tt she is leaving..i only knew it yest, from rumours..and she personally came to tell me at a corner during the late afternoon. She wanted to say more. wanted to explain..But when i looked in her straight into her eyes, her eyes got red, and she teared. it was e moment tt my tears fell too. we couldn't talk much cos the rest of e pple were there. but she was like a v close aunty to me there. Eating lunch with me and everytink. Tink i will make a lil sth for her..to show tt at least she is appreciated. She came over to find me today..to ask me for my msn n hp..cos she want to stay in contact..i gave her. and told her to smile. She sobbed. Politics..jus makes pple miserable yeah.

Alright then, on a lighter note. Went to hav lunch with mae finally after so long. Its like old times. and it was so nice. Met her for dinner again. haha..went bugis at pasta..den went arcade! haha..toOk a few pics from my hp as well. We crapped so much till i somehow felt some warmth again..after so long. haha..we shld get tgr again. haha. fun time. =)

e 3 dumb gals..haha..

trying to find a decent smile with e 3 of us in e cam. haha

Very last, jus a random pic of e mushroom in my working office..my collegue's one..so cute!!!
Ok la..update more regularly again..hehe...ciaoz.

updated!

2007-05-13T18:16:00.000+08:00

hi ALL, i was getting lazy to blog again..hehe..But not becos i m plain lazy (Oh pls...how cud tt ever be possible? Wahaha) But becos i m trying to get my guitar PASSION back! haha. Been touching my 2 "husbands"(guitar la) everyday since last wk..hehe.

Anyway, i went to watch Phantom with reb on 6th May and it was like WOW!!! YAY! Love it so much. Hehe. The moment i saw the props i my jaw dropped and it hung open thru'out the musical! *2 thumbs up* Then the next thing tt impressed me was the orchestra. Mai siao siao leh..The conductor was a lady lor! The music wise was superb! *2 toes up* However, i reckoned that the phantom himself wasn't die-hard marathon opera singer afterall cos after performing for like 1mth plus till e time i get to watch him, he must have sung like hundreds of performances and his vocal was abit shaky tt day. Aww...nvrtheless, it was gr8. Yay! *dances ard*

the entrance ticket...woohoo!

During e 1/2 time, i went out of e hall to meet barney cos i told him to help me get sth..and met yuhang & his collegues..haha..after e musical went to henry's bar to chill with barney and reb. haha. It was quite funny cos barney n i decided on beer (budget) quite fast n reb tooK a long long time deciding..n end up with her order..which the waiter himself cant comprehend for some reasons- melon ball. He repeated "melon ball" numerous times till i kept laughing la..Cabbed hm after. =)

the drinks we ordered

another pic of it..purposely toOk a clearer pic of e yellow melon ball!

The rest of e wk was filled with dinner here n there with different pals..and going back to sch for mini concert practices. haha. ABt e practises..erm..no comments. haha..come and watch to support ba! haha..tis coming sat (19th may) at LT 26, 7pm, FOC. haha..bring ur family and frens as well ba. our beginners practised for it. haha...

i also nv managed to crawl to my comp to msn or surf webby for e whole 4 days or so for e last couple of days becos of my baby guitar..hehe..was too tired. Dun blame me k..anytink sms me or ring me instead la. #%E%^. hahaa..jk.

oh, went to kinokuniya and bought 2 books, 1 is "Tabloid Tokyo" which was abt the some bizarre hidden dirty lil' secrets of Japan, and "It's nt how GOOD u r, Its how GOOD u want to be" a self-improvement booK which was e 2nd following book from "whatever u think, think e opposite"..wootx.

lalala...my 2 new books! yeah!

Mother's day today, and i was an angel. I woke at 10am to mop e floor, iron e clothes and went for a family lunch with my couz family too. Went to marina kamboat restaurant..OK la..but ex. Chinese cuisine. So gonna get broke..mum hinted me to buy her a mic (cost=$80+) and her bday is coming, she ALREADY planned dinner next sun with my couz tgr to hav lunch AGAIN..(cost = $200+ to be shared with sis..) arhh..haha..

Who can be my sugar daddy or mummy? I will be a good girl. ^^

P.S: Bakguas, when is our next outing? Mocky is shaving and lefty is asking (as usual) And......we still got performance arh? hahahaahahahah...

2007-05-06T00:59:00.000+08:00

Heyo heyo hey!

Working as usual. been unfaithful to my cca club cos i didn't make any trips down tis wk cos i was too tied up! haha. But still, went out to watch Spidey with bakguas. Too bad Left and Scandalous cant make it. hahaha. The show was not too bad la. I was anticipating a suave Spidey (he has a double chin n flabby tummy but w/ e most close up shots) and a more attractive MJ (her crow lines and wrinkles) but oh well, reality strikes, even superheroes cant defeat aging and the signs of MATURITY. haha. It was overall enjoyable. haha...

Then today, went to watch RJC's chinese drama performance...Ok lar. Abit disappointing tho'. Was expecting more out of it, but it was alrite la. I lost my way on e way there too la..so comical la. Went with jer cos he was nearby my hm but yet we tried to be smart and tooK an unknown bus, end up walking a long distance in. As far as chinese drama is concern, a fact to be known is tt after e sec sch period, most active members will always be the PRCs. Not tt its not good, but our local blood r nt exposed n involved much in chinese drama. Hmm, wad a waste. haha. anyway, after tt, bid farewell to my juniors n was supposed to meet a few NPS pple to chill, but they are sooooo far, at town, and i was at bishan. haha..End up met another fren chill awhile den head hm le.

Today, was supposed to go for another job de...But i turned it down in e end. Haiz. Guess i ultimately dun feel lyk tiring myself too much, cos there are other tinks i need to do on wkends..BUt its a 50-50 feeling. haha.

Abt tml..actually quite excited...gonna watch phantom tml..heheh...waited for tis musical for years! Missed it when i was pri 5. Tis time must watch it...hehe...Wootz!!!

Aiyo, so long nv play guitar le...missed it! Oh!!! Happy B'day FRANS!!! Hope u get longer each day! NO NO NO...tt's not wad i mean! hahah..hope u get happier each day and hope fairy godmother make all ur wishes come true~~~ =PpP

Ok..go play guitar..hehee..tata~~~

"omg...u found out...wad m i supposed to do. sorry to break ur heart...i still lied in e end..but i dun wan u to noe e truth..sorry...hope to hide frm u e real truth till as long as i can."

2007-05-01T02:14:00.000+08:00

yoyoyo. Ok, after more than a yr of e old blog skin, tis is a new skin. Wanted a guitar skin, but i was lazy to personalise it, so tt will be for later..hehe. Maybe after i take tons of pic of my present husband(s) [my guitars] and after i get more sweethearts. hehe..

ok, and of cos, i got inspiration of e song from e Smacker bg. hehe..so yup, learn e rap if u all wan from e lyrics. hehe. and smack tt whilst learning. =)

Today went to work and blur me, i toOk e bunch of office keys home la! Blur moo..=.=''' and tt's nt all e blurness that happened. I checked mail in e middle of e day cos i was so zzz after lunch and saw an email tt said sth tt i applied for bursary (while i tink was tons of yrs ago) n i didn't sudmit my supporting docs n i had to do it by today! And e gr8 news is, i dun remb applying n i din hav e time to do it. So, haha..panicked abit, walked ard e office, and called pple to help me go and get application form. E dumb tink is, i cant access my NPAL now. which means i cant print it. In e end, i got Loong bg to help me, BUT...even sch's net was down. And i got to go down sch on wed to submit. Which i tot i cud get a half day leave, and now i m holding on to some dumb keys. Arhhhhhhhhh. hahh..

Ok, and NPS AGM was held today and i officially stepdown le. Yay! And i went for SAG too. Visited them and crapped abit. Haha..today was like reminiscence of my yr2 days sia. haha..running to both ccas. haha.

Human r/s r always so complicated. We always hope tt pple are sensitive to our feelings but how sensitive are we to them ourselves? Managed to talk some stuff out to some peeps and i hope for e best. All in SAG n NPS, dun giv up hope when things dun go ur way cos shit always happens! We jus hav to deal with it yea! =)

FYI pple, AHEM. Guitar mini concert is on 19th May (Sat) Free admission at Lt 26 , Virtuoso XIV on 23rd June (SAt) at SCH selling at $10 and $12. Come support me and all wor!

2007-04-29T22:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah, i noe, back after a week but yep, here's the post! It's been another week at work n things are starting to pick up. I'm now transfered to another storey to do my documents cos there is nt enuff PCs to use. So, I will lyk take charge of e documents below now, n once i'm done, go up n help e rest. haha. So far, i must say its been not too bad. I'm starting to crap with them tt i become 1 of e jokers there alr. Haha. And tsk tsk, they arh..bad seniors sia..bad temptations cos they jio me to drinking, mahjonging etc. haha...

The wk jus pass like tt when we start to work..so fast. but yeah, life will be dull if we dun take time out to chill with frens. Still, i've been meeting e bakguahs for dinner and such. And nice, met up with Gina and her WHOLE family for steamboat. By saying her whole family, i really mean it. haha... Initially it was only she and I. Then, her elder sis wanted to join. And e next tink i noe, it turns out tt her whole family wanna tag along. =.=lll It was awkward at first but yeah..got over it. Dj and alvin came to join us for midnight shopping after. haha. Sorry to PS e rest of u all at settlers but its jus too tiring. haha..

On sat, I went to sch for pract and went to watch e NP's choir's performance mostly becos e bakguahs are performing! They ar..always end up with erotic dances i tink becos of Scandalous bg and Shopping bg. Left bg din performed and we were so saddened la. haha. The performance was alrite la. Went out to cheese prata shop for supper cum small celebration for Frans. We gave him his bday pressie out and it was ooOOooo..so refreshing to see him grin and sniggle from ear to ear la! FYI, we gave him boxers. haha. And wad's even more refreshin to find out tt 1 of e boxers actually has a small opening for err..easy peeing. haha!

As for today, its nice to hang out with e usual peeps again. haha. met e usuals to go k box..at JURONG EAST...my god. I actually agreed. haha. After k box, i was supposed to call Scandalous to chill if my peeps no plans but my peeps wanna come my hse play mahjong! So..being a thirsty gambler, I agreed! haha...so off we went to my hm to play. haha. I was losing quite abit till i was so shagged...and then...i saw e LIGHT! haha. I "salted fish flipped body" (direct translation from chinese, meaning "got a change of luck") haha. End up winning abit with another guy. haha. By evening, we were hungry and yet still wanna play..so...we ordered SAKAE sushi delivery! HEHE..ate..teriyaki chicken bento set. hehe. End of e day, i got a nett profit of $20+. hehe. =pPp

Now, i m so tired yet fun. haha. Oh yar, was supposed to work today. Cos i found a wkend job. 11-4.30pm. But i decided to start next wkend. Cos i wanna rest abit. So haha..YEaH..final schedule. Gonna work 9am-5.30pm on wkdays, and 11am-4.30pm on wkends. Anyone wanna ask me out? Note my schedule kk? hehee....

P.S: YEAH!!! LABOUR DAY tis tue = REST day!!! Wootz..

" I m nt ready to give as much as u give to me to u"

2007-04-22T17:02:00.000+08:00

AIYO. how come time online passes so fast. I tot i haven blogged for 2-3 days only but its been a week. =.=''' Real simple updates today here aite.

Have stopped work at harvey n started work at my new workplace le. I'm now a admin assistant working at Pathfinder. Some agency tt operates for Prudential, u noe, e insurance company. haha. U peeps free can come down find me for lunchy. Its at tanjong pagar, fuji xerox building. Ha...So far, its been alrite. Quite fun too la. Just tt my eyes can pop out by staring at e comp e whole time.

1st day, my fren (who intro e job) brought me to my workplace..and erm..Ok..her orientation wasn't superb cos she v blur! heheh..Then she became my shifu for 1/2 day, cos she helped me with work for 1/2 day then left to study for exams. haha. So nice of her. Muacks. Then i die-ed e rest of e day cos v blur, need to learn most of e admin procedures.. Print, scan, copy, label, dispatch, policies..woots!

2nd day onwards was on my own n wow..2nd day tio OT liao cos too much to do. haha. And guess wad..i tooK leave for e next 2 days to go do a performance and to go for my healthcheck. haha! work 2 days, leave 2 days. hahaha. super sia. e silly performance was filmed by CNA la! And it was shown on news e very day! Wah raoz! Tot i wun c e news cos i reached hm at 12+am, But cos i will on e tv watch repeated news de and silly me went to on e tv at 1+am and i saw myself prancing ard on tv. Shucks! Of all snapshots, they e glimpse of me on tv is e part where our dance got a lil mixed up. kuku sia. haha. Healthcheck day was screwed up in e end cos e nurse gave me a wrong timing and i missed my appt. WTH. haha..fixed another date alr AGAIN. But on e brighter note, i went to evaluate guitar juniors for their evaluation too. was glad that they can perform for e evaluation, hope they perservere on! haha.

3rd day return to work, den i realise i label lotsa stuff wrongly, and they hav to redo for me. Opps! SO..i worked extra hard tt day. Doing all e RIGHT stuff liao. hee. my dispatch skills still so lan sia. cos got so many lockers, and all nt in seq and all. And if i dun arrange them according to e locker plan (which is so tedious) before i go dispatch e docs, i wud be like staring at lockers for like 5min for EACH doc in my hand cos i cant find their names or codes! haha..so ma lu. =X But 3rd day was fun la..cos of dispatch and some policies stuff, went to meet some managers, seretary and all. haha.

Oh, yest was exciting too. Morn went to NTU for some talk. cos i m still torn apart btw NUS life science n NTU chem n biochem. haha...Then saw a few familiar professors and staffs (cos i did my attachment there) n joked ard with them. haha. REturned to sch for pract, realising tt its been cancelled. Boo. But nvm, still managed to get a few to pract some songs. haha. And i did a bad tink, was supposed to go for curry's performance but ps her in e end cos its nt my cup of tea...End up watching a dance performance with bakguahs. Sadly, "scandalous" had to take her leave and e few of us ended our day with a fondue treat at hiagan diaz. haha

Today was supposed to meet sotong n peeps to go out but end up cancelled. Nvm. slpt and eat e whole day le. Pig out day! hahahah! Yeah!!! i wanna go swimming sia..haha..drown or float in water! da bian floats on water! hahaha..

"freaking pissed...no COM..no acheivements...etc etc etc..becos of 1 mistake. haha. thx for screwin my life. now, u still wanna come back and screw my life further? thx..we'll see."

OK, 3 days left!

2007-04-13T01:09:00.000+08:00

i m lyk so excited. 3 days left to end to harvey job! ^^

So, as i was saying, yes these jobs r always filled with social-climbers and sorts..and we gotta live with it. BUT, dun step on my tail cos i ain't sum1 4 ya to play with. hah. Y do i say that? cos' i realized my patience was limited. For e 1st day at harvey it was lyk rubbish as mentioned, then 2nd day also lyk tt, but i managed to lyk pull myself up abit more. Lowered my aim of selling high but jus allow my days to pass more peacefully, but snatching of deals still went on as usual.

HOWEVER, on e 3rd day. I was so shagged alr cos i din had any off since i started work and so, I stilled tried to be at my best. And after a whole day of work, nearing evening, there was tis 1 customer who approached me for phones, and i was introducing halfway n she asked me for shaver recommendation too and i helped her out. Just as I was serving, i wanted to reduce e price for her and so THIS senior walked past and HELPED me out. After, he WALKED away. And after serving e customer for quite some time and she finally decided to get 1 of e shaver, e senior WALKED over and shouted HIS sales code to me, asking me to GIVE him the sales. I mean, wad e fug. Oh did i even forget to mention that tis customer was my FIRST sale for e day cos e outlet is freaking new? So it was lyk, wad e hell la? haha...And i got so pissed cos he show hand signs BEHIND my customer tt i SHLD give it to him. ANd guess wad..

I got SO pissed, i smiled to e customer, proceed to e cashier, and said MY code so loudly and stare back at him. And Oh, i smiled and say "thank u". i wanted to let things pass BUT After tt. i guess he suspected i did nt follow wad he said, AND HE still got e cheek to to come over, tell me say there will be a customer who MIGHT come over to looK for printer and sth else, and he TOLD me to SERVE FOR HIM, BUT give him e sales!!! Freaking ass. And so, I jus turned away, and walked while saying, "see how man." and i went to tell my IT dept manager. And i say made it v clearly tt i dun wanna make things ugly but tt guy is too much and only dumb pple can still let him do wadever he pleases. Finally, my manager was so pissed too, he went to tell tt guy off immediately, and told him and e rest to leave me alone. Ha. Not tt i m so happy and gloating over e result. I dun feel happy, only felt just for tt matter. And after i heard frm a few younger workers there that they all kena be4, but some kept quiet. Sorry dude, YOU could hav warned me that tt must hav been TOO kind. HA.

Anyway, 3 more days to end of harvey. Manager asked if i can stay on to work part-time there. Paying me better and willing to give me more flexi days and time. I guess they either run out of pple or he lyk stubborn n hard freaks lyk me. haha. But nt sure yet..say i will just see how. In any case, gonna start work elsewhere directly after e end of harvey so see hw 1st. haha.

Ok jobs aside, hav been meeting e bakguas on n off after work jus to chill. Funny peeps la u all, But wah raoz, we everytime so loud and noisy...fooh..haha..But i must say its always so fun with u all..but e "left", "shopping", "morning", and "master" everytime nv come sia..esp "left" everytime complain But cmi..smack "left" liao la. haha.

OOh yar, can u believe it? we gonna perform e commonwealth day performance on 18th april during NP CCA fiesta AGAIN lar! and tis time e crowd is lyk LOCAL and maybe even my frenz la! Kaoz! so paiseh...Tink will faintz sia..jus now went to practise with them awhile, forgot some steps too le. =X Hahaa..

And 1 LASt thing BABY! I've gt a piece of news to share...I jus received a letter...and I'm accepted in NTU!!! Wootz baby! My 1st choice..yeah!!! Heheehe.. Actually unexpected cos i missed e interview and all but haha..yeah baby..still need to reply and send some documents even before i m really accepted but yeah..1st news is up. ^^

OK, tml gg meet sum1 BIG be4 gg to work, so gonna slp soon le..take care n till next time. Ciaoz.

"i guess u will be disappointed but i'll try to make it up to u..."

after 1 wk of harvey

2007-04-07T23:34:00.000+08:00

Ooooo its been exactly 1 wk at harvey's...and today is my WORST harvey day sia...T.T

For e whole wk was working at harvey at Raffles there..then today got transferred to harvey at Central (Clarke Quay) and it is lyk so sulky la... Initially i joined harvey cos of frenz. They pay sux to e core but tot e trade off was still tt cud work wif frenz..den tio transferred. =.=lll

The few days at harvey raffles made a few funny peeps la..haha..old timers yet helpful guys..haha.. Altho' competition was there, and sometimes sickening things happen..it was alrite. But arh, today when i went to harvey at central..i feel lyk puking and it felt lyk the longest harvey day i had sia. haha.

1st, i reached at 9.45am (cos' harvey at raffles open at 10am) and who expected tis outlet to open at 11am. Then waste my 1hr of slp. Then, i approached e staff there and they lyk sian sian got newbies cos it means MORE competition. In e end, i only really got to "start work" there ard 12+ cos they all so "busy" and i hav to wait for e manager to come then brief me..=.=. By then, i totally bui song, den i jus went for lunch with 1 of e gal there..she OK lar, quite nice to me. T

Then return back, waited for sales till EVENING still ZERO sales, for every single day at harvey, i NV once got sales so bad lor..e crowd is lyk coming at a rate of 1 per hr? so its lyk by the time 1 enters, all e old timers lyk RUSH to them..so PATHETIC. Then when i finally got some sales..SOME FREAKING OLD TIMERS STEAL FROM ME..and its not lyk secretly..is those they eavedrop then when they see i lyk gg to close e deal, they chiong to the customer and say, "OK, so tis way to the cashier" and lyk get my sales credit. freaking assholes la. At raffles, there is competition but not so freaking OBVIOUS and guai lan la..sian 1/2.

I was so paiseh to even STAND there cos e whole day 0 sales la, and i contemplating of quitting on e spot too. BUt its so coward to do so..so i skipped dinner..hoping tt i get lyk a few sales..heng last min got a few...till shop close, luckily got a few sales (though freaking small lyk a few $ tt kind) but its still sales..dun earn but can show got serve pple.

This kind of life, how to work perm sia? If at raffles still Ok, at there..YUCKS. And so...haha..i told the manager tt i leaving latest sun le..dun shld be happy or sad but yeah..now still feel happy for my decision. haha..wad made up for my day was tt the gal i met was caring enuff to jio me for meals, and she stay near me, and we rode bus hm tgr. haha..But STILL, its hell there.

Nvm, 8 more days to go.

Freaking tired..leg hurts hell. And mood dampened by e tot tt i need to work and see e cunning arseholes tml. NVM...work life is FULL of social climbers..tml will be a better day. GIVE ME LUCK, GIVE ME huge sales..let me close IS, let me hit high sales mark at least for a few days, show them tt i m nt so weak lor..kaoz..haha.

OK, ranter long enuff. positively, 8 more days till sun..6more days of harvey, tue n thur FINALLY off. (FYI, i worked consecutively since last sat le). oh yar, thx bak guas for making e trip to meet us to chill. u all ROX. hehe...Go rest le. Ciaoz..=P

P.S: gonna let go again. sorry.

post sri lanka!

2007-03-30T00:45:00.000+08:00

Back from Sri Lanka and yesh! Tis post is supposed to be outdated le BUT SHEENA nv DOES things the RIGHT way...heheh. OkOK, i'll just briefly summarise the trip.

1stly, it was such a wonderful thing tt we dun have to stay hostel after all!!! hehe... Stayed in a hotel! 1.5 stars..BUT still..GOOD! Toilets are acceptable and the WATER IS CLEAR AND WHITE!!! WOAH! hehe...And the power of TALKING came in cos' I managed to switch 1 of our team-mate's room from a normal twin room to a FAMILY suite by luck and we all bunked in most of the NITES! Whee~~~

2ndly, unity is strength cos we were abit ostracised initally i tink due to race and colour (except a few nations) but yeah, we hung on, and after our FABULOUS performance(2nd last day), the other teams came and befriended us to the max and we had a whole lot of partying man! haha..But during the ke-sian days, we entertained ourselves and it was a hell lot of gooft experiences But it made us so much closer. ^^

3rdly, i MUST declare tt tis is DA BEST trip i've had with NP in terms of fun and learning cos it was SO SO SO much fun! The peeps are DA BEST too sia..hehehe...so FUN..so CRAZY...so ONZ...so...ENDLESS! hahaha..pre-events (go bond n buy stuffs at MUSTAFA), real events (SURVIVOR-srilanka), post-events (till nw..blading + more to come), u name it, we hav it! haha..TEAM SRI LANKA! NV say die...Bak guA rulez. hahah...I must say I went on this trip really not knowing ANYONE, BUt i came back knowing EVERYONE so much more and i HOPE we rock on as a grp for as long as we can be. hahaha...Enjoy e curry mixed fun with u all. hehe. Nt to mention we SHARE the unevenly tanned skin now too. haha.

Ok, apart from Sri Lanka, a few mishaps. haiz. as the saying goes, u gain some u lose some. oh well. Wad hav i lost, a possible entry to NUS medical school, an interview to NTU, my 1st choice division, 2 possible jobs.. haha..But NVM, i believe in NOT giving up. So maybe i lose some chances, but there are other chances out there. I ranter bUt i will move on. hehe.

Oooh yeah, gotta announce too...I HAVE OFFICIALLY HANDOVER NPS TOO. NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE POST, NO MORE KEYS, JUST A PLAIN GRADUATE. hehe. Glad that its over, but sad tt its over too. I guess 3 yrs of power here and there made me so used to it. haha. But i hope the preceding batches will cherish the spontaneity they seen from e past and glorify more in the future. Its been a long time since i see the liveliness in many eyes. haha. Its time to do sth. yes. haha. But, no, not me, u all. haha...

Hmm...and yeah. Gonna start work soon..tis sun. At Harvey norman(until a better deal come by), Raffles shopping centre, city hall there? haha..Free den come down show fast AND BUY some IT stuff. If nt, wah RAOZ. haha. ROAR. And yeah..wanna get wkend part time too. haha.. Poor lyk dung. haha. Come support. =)

"its time i wake up again from my selfish dream. u now lead ur life and i lead mine. U shld let go and i move on too. dun ever let me affect u again. And also, u, another u, its a wonder hw i cud ever get confused...yest when i tot everytink was done n over, today u made me sway again. its good, to be friends."

srilanka!

2007-03-03T19:59:00.000+08:00

its been a while..such a while tt I forgot my bloggy pw alr. Heex. Ok 1st tot of wad to blog is...I hav unofficially grad-ed. hahah. This signifies a few things u noe. Of cos, i tink i've completed my dip course. haha. And then, i need nt be v much involved in NP activities le. Hmm, CCA pple if need help still can approach me, wad i meant was tt i need nt meet those staffs or wadever le bahz. haha...A better way of putting it would be tt i need not suffer from admin work by NP. hahah. However, another thing would be tt i would part frm my NP-mates ba. haha. Sob sob.

Perhaps for some poly frenz may be quite insignificant cos the classes are less fixed and all but i guess 3 yrs hav been quite some time for me to be so used to the pple i see everyday, regardless whom it is. Haha. This habit may be missed by me cos i hav adapted to it le. Now when its over, its abit saddening. Haha. But yup, we must move on.

Have been seeing pple leaving these days again. But its a positive thing cos they leave to pursue their dreams. Do take care and u all wun be forgotten. Haha. Yup, once again, i must say i m contented to hav met so many pple from all walks of life cos u all hav made me who i m now. I have learnt a great deal from all of u. Thank u so much!

OK, wad hav i been up to these days. Hav been chosen to rep. NP for some commonwealthday celebrations so hav been busy preparing for tis trip. Its tentatively gonna be frm 10/03/07 to 15/03/07 in Columbo, Sri Lanka. Haha..tot i could go as a hol but apparently i was wrong cos we've got to put up a performance and an exhibition. ha. Been so busy learning pieces, dancing and all. OH...we did e panel exhibits and all too. haha. Nt tt i like it but since i m chosen, i might as well do it well and learn from tis experience. I must say i m no good leader but i try to learn from any situation possible, hope tis spirit would be also in all my juniors and friends. haha.

And yes, u may luff. For god's sake i cant dance. I have re-confirmed my position as a comedian and a musician but no dancer. I cant shake or pump for christ's sake. haha. But yea..gonna try my best. hahah..

Unfortunately, as if preparation work ain't rush enough, i jus sprained my ankle yest nite, so yeah, wish me luck cos i've got rehearsals again on mon and i cant afford to not practise. haha. will still go for it. haha...

Flying off, flying off, flying off...to sri lanka...muahhahah....the tot is cool..but to live in a hostel...and...ehz....poor iternary..turns me off...eww..haha!

hope everyone is alrite

2007-01-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

hmm. its been awhile since i wanna deal with human r/s, becos its complicated. And i dun wanna complicate my life further with complicated matters. haha. But, its inevitable sometimes. hahah...

SAG arh SAG..all must be strong. New comm, new pple, new management, new ideas, new plans, new successes. I have faith in all of them. I had faith in the previous comm, and so do i have for this new comm. No comm to me is a real comm if it doesn't experience tides and waves from all directions. haha. I believe in them becos they put not just their body into it, but i hope i m nt wrong, their heart into it as well.

nevertheless, members must be there to support them becos e comm thrives on members and the members need direction from comm. Its a interdependant kinda thing..so members must trust them. Members must have faith in them. All shall NOT give up to what they have now cos' it will be a pity. Of cos, when there is a change, a change in feeling will be felt. Time and patience is need for everyone to adapt, but the LOVE and PASSION for SAG shld not diminish. Pple expressed themselves differently and so, we all need to adjust to that. Members must nt even feel that they are insignificant becos they bring the comm back to reality. Comm members sometimes have high hopes and aspirations which may blind them a lil' from sensitivity towards pple or surrounds, but its the members that keep them back on the ground. haha..hope they all understand that its the love that keeps pple alive in there.

Today did the poster presentation. No preparation was done and our turn came so fast. Was a lil' nervous but finally its done with. All was fine, fortunately, but i was a lil' sian diao when one examiner told me to refrain from LAUGHING when i am presenting. which i apparently didn't. I simply pronouced the words weirdly and i grinned a lil' or should i say SMILE. who would LAUGH out loud. =.=lll wadever, tml will be 2nd round judging of tis poster ppt and we hav to be in formal. Sianz.

Oh, and toOk BIF exam today. Siaoz. Killer. Felt so helpless. End up was like staring into space OR loOking ard at other pple instead of focusing. Haha. left like early. haha. wadever. I wan to grad peacefully! No repeats. NO.

Assg + Proj + Ppts all clumped within these 2-3wks. SUffocating? I duno. SOmehow lost still ba. never liked thinking of what is my next step gonna be, becos it will always get no where. To fulfill a responsibility, i applied for PSC still. Into courses that i dun even noe if its wad i really want. Its madness. Med or BMS or forensic. UK/Aust. Insanity hits? I duno. Never ever want to aim that high ever since i fell hard.

If only i could be like u.

I shld live to love what i do, cos I noe my life is different...how long will i even....live?

everything's too fast

2007-01-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

Everytime when i m on the bus returning home, i will tend to ponder. Yesterday like always, i was on the way home by bus, and it poured. This, made me pondered a lil' more. Everything's passing so fast...too fast. it may not be a bad thing, but i just cant breathe.

Been thinking alot recently, but i have not come to any decisions. I guess its nice when people do know what they are doing or what they want to do. These pple seem to be able to have focused lives. Sometimes, i wish my directions are as clear as them. However, I know its not that easy. Part of me cannot settle down. And it always hold true that plans with support are much more easier to accomplish than one which most do not care or worse- oppose.

Soon, NP will be history. 3 years of NP student life will end. To be honest, I really thank NP, cos' it made me experienced the extras...or rather, the specials. I've met lotsa pple, and learnt a great deal from each and everyone of them. I am really grately for all that i've received from the school and the pple there. I'm not sure if i'd have chosen this path again if i had another chance, but i guess i don't regret this decision, this life.

Today, should mark the end of my application to PSC. The test wasn't hard in my context, i had no time. And, i realised the problem. Lifting my hand to my chest, i realized, i didn't follow my heart, that's why no signs of anxiety nor spirits lifted me up to face the test or the application. All of this, was planned by the school and i merely went forth to do it. I nv considered it personally, nv thought if i really wanted it. Unfortunately, these thoughts came a lil' too late i supposed, cos i reckoned i would fail the test and its through the test that determines if i will get through to the next round. Its a fact that this path is not what i want most, but its a good path. Its a...safe path. Too bad i guess, goodbye PSC. Sorry to all NP staffs who wanted me to get through badly.

On a lighter note, i just have to mention that we all have to know that the world is so big outside that there is always people on par as ur standard or is even better than u. Just the psychometric test alone make me feel that my standards are just there. Just that. I will continue to self-improve but at the same time, i know, that the competitive world outside is still too mature for me. I'll grow up. Just give me time. Right now, i prefer to sway with the wind.

Being a floater, i would choose to give pple up becos i m afraid that my unpredictability may cause harm or annoyance to them. It is not that i want to give them up, i just don't wish to hurt them.

I need to breathe. The night sky seems harmless and peaceful.

Projects are killing. Assignments are piling. Common tests is nearing. Exams are not far off. GRADUATION seem so near, yet so far.

Should you give me a chance again, i guess i will give my all to you. But i know that it is virtually impossible cos' i've hurt u too deep. 你好就好.

Wasssup

2007-01-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

i m so FULL of surprises! Back to blog, i wonder Y.

I went to read my previous blog. It was even be4 attachement ended. Hahaha. Now i m back to school, jailed to the few schooling weeks. This jail term is much better cos i can get to interact with more pple again...apart from just my lab pple.

HOWEVER, its been..i suppose..killer weeks all thru.

The cycle of Poly Life for me jus rung in my head.

1st yr was tough but young minds r ez to tame = overall fun
2nd yr was hell but achievements n frenz made up for it = fun in hell
3rd yr exploding urge to grad n get out of it but feeling lost at the same time = time bomb

Anyway, just some random updates...

i've re-painted my house with my parents...same colour. just a recoat of paint. at the expense of my work being undone cos i was told i need to contribute to the family. It was not a bad tink actually cos i've destroyed the nice walls. hahaha. Jk.

i've been missing in action from NPS for abt a mth. good/bad i duno. But i certainly feel guilty. responsibility VS love , nobody wins.

been to NTU talk..been thru some interview..been hearing stuffs of wad pple wanna do after they grad. i m still finding my way out of the maze. M i even walking?

i finally met up with u, only when u mentioned tt u r leaving. Y does it always turn out this way. i reckon its me again. Right...only thinking tt i care when i dun even do or say a thing is nt gonna get anytink near anywhere. Do i truly care?

Lots of tots been up in my puny head recently and its not exactly a good tink. I hope to live up to the philosophy that things will just turn out fine naturally.

Just a song...from memories...

风儿请你不要太匆忙

停下脚步我有话要对你讲

让我歇在你的翅膀上

陪你到那遥远地方

我是游子长长一封信

信上写满奔波流浪的沧桑

要为他归去处见他的故乡人

问一问别后可无恙

飞过山飞过大海

飞到游子的故乡

卸下身上重负的情感

交给他白发爹娘

让我歇在你的翅膀上

陪你到那遥远地方...

2006-11-08T21:34:00.000+08:00

Missed 2 days of attachment due to freaking hurting hand alr. Quite nice cos i get away from the place there. But i din entirely rest properly either. ha. 2 days, i went back for cca stuff. Nps and den sag. Not gonna grumble cos its my choice. keke.

Today, i after visiting the doc's, decided to take the effort to return the blazers. After SOOO long, i have returned it! ha. *relieved* Went to chinatown to loOk for some props for AP too. Den went to buy some other stuffs before returning hm.

Rest time. Or not. Ha.

I nv fails amaze myself. I dun understand y ur freaking actions or words can get me under my skin so easily. Its so ridiculous sometimes tt i dun understand y. I dun even NEED to understand y. I DUN want to. I jus want U to NOT affect me SO much. Its getting stupid. Maintaining a cooL friendship is nt hard rite? Y it just doesn't work here. Irritated. I dun wanna lose u as a fren yet i just duno who's the prob. Asshead i m. Thanks for giving me such a "nice" time the whole day today manz.

2006-11-05T00:52:00.001+08:00

As far as i can remb:

-making props was fun but tiring. a few more to go. Jia youz
-wounds start hurting again. shuckz. Nvm. SUPERGIRL. Haha.
-hateTurpentine/thinner/wadsoever related.
-Rondeau by NP Concert Band wasn't bad...2nd half was more attractive.
-Lab is slightly better. Proj driving me nutz.
-Frenz r wonderful. Lurve all of 'em. Thx 4 slippers too.
-I miss her. I REALLY do.

Till next time.

"wad's happenin?"

2006-11-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

As far as i can remb:

-making props was fun but tiring. a few more to go. Jia youz
-wounds start hurting again. shuckz. Nvm. SUPERGIRL. Haha.
-hateTurpentine/thinner/wadsoever related.
-Rondeau by NP Concert Band wasn't bad...2nd half was more attractive.
-Lab is slightly better. Proj driving me nutz.
-Frenz r wonderful. Lurve all of 'em. Thx 4 slippers too.
-I miss her. I REALLY do.

Till next time.

2006-09-22T01:37:00.000+08:00

Was so exhausted frm activities the past few days. I went for Poly Forum 2006 and tis year indeed was a year of highs and lows sia. Didn't exactly wanted to join cos i went last yr too. But my tcher sorta conned me into it. And as far as i tot this yr, being a student facilitator i get more previleged, we all std facs, were taken in as the SGW - "Sai Gang Warriors". Ha. Attendance, breakfast calls, gathering, discussions, games, and all aLL ALL we are to do. Sheesh, are we even paid with decent meals? nah.

Luckily my Sub sub-team was united and professional. Initially i got into a lil bit of trouble as i din contribute much due to my attachment. But i told them tt i will make it up to dem and i really did, landing myself into a lil bit of trouble here and there and it was all worth it, cos their efforts were recognized by the Minister Teo Ser Luck, i tink, later. Congrats sub theme 2.4, i m proud of U. At the same time, i've made great frens wif the std facs as most of us were participants from last year and so tis yr, being the pool of sai kang pple tgr made us noe each other even better. haha.

Anyway, i hated the reflections part as we had to do it for EVERY activity. I mean, um, do we even need to tink abt y we hav to go for breakfast if we are so darn tired the previous nite rushing thru a stupid ppt jus for the HOST poly to look good and successful? Some reflections are redundant and i didn't care.

To end the topic of PF '06, it was enriching, but at the same time, made me even more sure that politics and economic issues weren't my style as i was easily aslp when we came across those during the forum. Nvrtheless, social issues i got interested but i noe in the meantime i wud prefer to gain back abit of freedom to play and growth as a fun youth. haha...as wad some panelist had said " rules ARE meant to be broken" haha..oh no..Wrong takaway msg from it. =X

Went back to lab today and it was so nice to be back. I miss my days there simply becos talking abt national issues isn't my cup of tea. I realised tt i kept tinking abt my labwork, which is..gr8! haha. Oh, went back to NPS to evaluate intermediates too. ONly 5 turned up. Wat the fish. They tried on the spot i noe, but more effort could be added in to practise more regularly as they are the hope for tml. haha. Nvm, we shall see. haha..

So paiseh also, sorry to the 2 diff. persons whom which i PS-ed cos of PF and NPS. Tink they understood but sorry anyway. haha..

*为关心我的人而改是一种快乐。不过，好难。后遗症开始产生。不管怎样，我说过，为了值得我改

变的人，我会改。

*今天，也看到你的笑容，你的态度，我好安慰。=）

*对了，就是这样，普通朋友。好了。

thx so much.

2006-09-16T02:22:00.000+08:00

好美的一天。今天，下了好久的一场大雨。很适合我的心情。

下了大半天的雨，也是让我想了好多，和她谈了好多，吵了好久。后来，发现隐藏事实，对关心你的人，伤害越深。没想到她对我来说也那么的重要，不然我也不会那么的重视和在她所说的话。我，也彻底的伤了她，对不起。我，知道了。

今天，也没去练习。需要让脑袋和心平静下来。

今晚，我决定不逃避。找了一个我珍惜却伤害到的人。聊了很长一段时间。现在的我，很感激你。我们说过不要在伤害彼此了对吗？从新开始是我们的选择，我愿意尽我的全力。

所以，对不起，谢谢你。

-你永远的 moo-

“好惭愧，让好多认为我伤心落泪。我想我也该做一点事情了。”

对不起。。。

2006-09-14T02:11:00.000+08:00

人因为梦想而努力，人也因为梦想而改变。

对不起。
可能我伤了你，可能我害了你，可能我给了你太多压力。

对不起，
我向你道歉。我根本没有想让情况变得如此糟糕。我，纯粹只想让大家的梦想一起飞翔。我错了。

对不起，
请原谅我。

对不起，
我好想念当时的日子。我们让一切归零，从新再一起努力，好吗？

我给你自由选择。

真的。。。对不起。

2006-09-12T01:14:00.000+08:00

its been 2 wks of attachment. tiring sia. but at least away from sch to make me kinda miss it.

its funny how come i've got to where i m now. pple on the surface may tink i m a successful person. poly student at least. With magnificent grades, once a well-respected president and a trustful treasurer. Hah. How wonderful when things dun seemed to last. I nv pinned hope on it that my fame will last cos i was nv after it. But little did i expect that worst luck came with it.

heh. Altho till now, some still see me in great honor, still tot to be a great scholar, dependable advisor and diligent VP, things that had changed and still changing can really slash me hard.

studies is a kind of tool for us to gain knowledge i tink. But its only a tool and there are far more ways to attain knowledge and experience. thus, it does not measure someone's ability to do well in life. And being able to study doesn't mean that u are a smartass cos pple with IQ without EQ can well go and bang the wall. My pt being, my past ability to do well was sheer luck, some diligence and lil' intelligence. But that does not make me a darn top scorer la. Dun assume that i m THE ONE in studies cos it pisses me off sometimes cos i try darn hard too. I m no genius.

As for 2 ccas that i tried so hard to work it upwards upon. It greatly tore me in half. For one, i tried so so so hard to pick it up when its fallin. And with all efforts from everyone tat supported me thru, my club came recognized to where it was. However, wad i can say is that human politics pull pple down and its tearing me apart when i see wad is happening now. U see, pple to pple relationship is not built in a day but by trust day by day, but a single tug can actually cause that bridge to fall. Abrasions here and there are inevitable, but the least we could do is to pick ourselves up and move forth. For this, i noe the 2 parties who are involved cared so much abt our club...these pple cared so much that they cud forsake so many tinks that each and everyone of us may not noe. However, no matter how bad the situation is, we must all come to a common ground to noe that wad we all wanted to, is to make our club the very best. Why some pple may FEEL that i can get along with pple that is so hard for others to even get near. The reason is simple, becos of the faith i believed in that person. I noe that that person wants the best in us. Tho' presurising, yes i hate the person in the process, but at the end of the day, i cannot deny that the person is one of the reasons y we see results.

For that 1 person, i noe he has the love for the club if not, he wud nt stay for more than 10years and still going on. Tho' stubborn or orbit he is, he is a kind soul in fact. Yes, he may sound as if he washed all our day's efforts into the drain within a hurting sentence, but sometimes, tink abt it, wad he said make SENSE ain't it? He may maligned us sometimes becos he dun SEE the process but it dun hurt to calm down and try to fit in some cool explaination. I hate to say that it hurts me so much when u all cant get along with him when i know that silly old man is jus trying to guard the house and not let it be on fire.

i duno if u may read my post but dun feel as if i m helping anyone or fending on anyone's side, i m jus speaking words of person who build that club up and wanting it to progress and not fall cos of human relations. If nt, jus treat me as a concerned member. I noe its hard on u and others, but pls u have got hands and legs to help u if u are willing to get help. U were not like me, when in the past i needed help i do not get any. Not even a mere encouragement, only from that old man and a few helpless souls. I know that thru this 1 short post, u cannot possibly understand wad i wan to say. or even know hw i really feel. Similarly, the short meetings i see u i couldn't possibly understand u which i tot i cud. Thus, yes, u can say that i may not noe fully how u r feeling but u cannot NOT say that wad u r gg thru now is much harder than wad i or some others went thru. Our views may clash, yes, undeniable cos we are different pple of different principles and all. But we MUST MUST MUST have a common consensus that all we want is the better of our club do u understand. U have NEVER seen the worst of the club. OF the old man. Of many more. WHICH I DUN WAN U TO. Thus, i m also guarding the house u understand.

However, i m tired and all i wanted was to relax and go join the club happily like how some others do. Mix with the freshies, mix with the pple enjoy the teachings, learn alot thru lessons etc. But sometimes the happenings jus pull me in u noe? Pls understand and not take me wrongly again. if u still do, than wad's the diff. from others taking u wrongly.

Anyway the above post was not targetted at ONE person. Just using "u" for convenience. but whoever that its applicable jus take it in. Anyway, the least that u cud do is to talk to me and we work tinks out. Just tinking that pple dun understand u is not gg to help the situation. we must help each other not just stay by ourselves. We will struggle and die. Haiz.

As for my other club, i m nt gonna rant on cos its late le. But all i can say is that now even tho' all is gone and cold, we still keep trying to improve the club and all but its saddening to noe that tinks are still moving slow...nvm. Hope all will be better.

remb, i m not sad, i just want tinks to at least fall back in place. I do not want to leave a bad mark for nth i have NOT done. All in all, my efforts will last if the pple do nt make me feel like giving up, cos when i give up, its no turning back.

PS: sorry to dj n the few cos i've been busy planning stuffs for cca stuff so cant make it so many times during the past few wkends...sorry.

2006-09-01T01:06:00.000+08:00

yoz. its been a few days of attachment over at NTU. GREAT feeling. 1 tink good is that i alr noe the place cos hav been there for FYP e past few mths tho' less regular. the seniors there are alrite and working well. However, now i m back there for WORK! Yeah. Still gonna do sth related to my FYP but its like cool, working Mon to Fri, doing lab work..so exciting.hahah...

And its a hell lot of columns chromatography i did sia...everyday at least 1. And we had to setup our own..pour own sand, mix ur own silica gel, make own sample run..yada yada..haha..last time do 1 column takes me 1/2 a day..nw...eh..setup and done...at most 2-3hours..hahaha...funny cos its quite boring YET interesting..hmm...haha..Supervisor says tt next wk den get to do more exciting stuff..haha..yippie..tis wk jus columns and working out rxns by his std..hehe..oK la..get familiarise again if nt malu. haha.

Sounds fun? Alrite lar..i miss the white mice..antibodies and microbes. All i deal with is chemicals. Alkanes..alkanes, organic, inorganic, heterocycles, metals...hahah..u name it we hav it. I missed the micropipettes and the western blottings le. hahah...Oh. But its quite amusing tt instrumentation is such a useful module i once had now. Or ELSE, i wud look so so so stupid in front of them la. When they talked abt HPLC, IR, NMR etc etc, which are automated or semi-automated analytical machines, i appeared tt i noe. Muahahah...

However, the bad omen is, its on thur and i've only been working for 4 days, but i only left labs on average ard 7pm. Haha..actually working hours is 9am-6pm. How? hahah..but we giv n take rite? Nw i usually enter lab ard 9.30am...but make sure i clean up my mess before i leave so its fair enuff la..hehe..OHOHOH..a gd tink....i DUN hav to KNOCK the door for OTHERS to OPEN door for me le!! I got a TEMP PASS!!! Yeah...!!!! *flipz*. But its looks damn ugly. ahahah.

ANyway, today was raining so heavily and i woke so late tt i was an hour late. Haha..but they understood...*nods* keke... pt aside, did alot of work. tired. Nw everyday can jus plonk on bed so EARLY for me ard 1+ 2am and concuss le. hahah..work stress. but i m STILL enjoyin it. =) attachment is gonna last like till dec so it shall be tis way till i report of any mishaps. haha.

Actually i wanted so much to blog abt sth tt was pissing me off. But i guess trivial tinks shldn't be taken under grudge. just smile. One last tink..haha..tried making my mum n sis happy. and i did. haha..was walking ard then saw a beautiful hairbrooch...nice..so tot of how nice my mum wud look in it. Den duno y...tot of buying a matching bracelet...so i search and found..and was so happy..duno y..and saw a pair of earrings..tt my sis wud like..and nth makes my day better than to see smiles frm me sis and..of cos..MUM. So the price was $$$!!!! but i bought it. haha..darn ex. but so happy. Haha..

Den guess wad, i reached hm sis in rm den i gave it to her and she was kissing me lar..yucks..As for mum, she jus got in bed and i DUG her up. WAHAHAHA. Cos dad v scare i anyhow spend den i dun dare let him noe and secretly pass to her. But stupid he walked into room and saw. haha..I saw mum eyes lighted up and it was all worth it. Nagged me for spending but at least she likes it. =))) Dad wan to grumble den i was like, "Can u appreciate the beauty of it? Can see wad color anot? *demands cos i noe he abit de color-blind*" hahaha...den he diao dao..and mama luff. haha..

In any case, i can announce tt i m pure broke. But its worth it la. SHow me some $ maybe i will be ur BEST FREN now...hahahahahahah. Laters.

2006-08-28T02:03:00.000+08:00

last week was simply filled with highs n lows. Exams took 1/2 of my week away and ended on tue. It was tough as usual but lower aims comes with less stress. haha. oppz. After exams i was like a happy crazy fella' hopping alr lyk i've been struck by lottery. Ermz, i cud say its not THAT a big deal but its jus a small relief frm other stuffs tt one relief feels like a crack in a pipe...all the pressure of water gushing out from a small leak. haha. yup n i kinda had fun after tt which i promise myself. hek.

tue i forgot le bt i remb i went out to dye my hair to a neat overall brown from e previous red. haha. need to keep myself tidy since my attachment starting. ha. den stayed out till ard 11. And YAR, met with a few mainlanders who tried stealing cabs from me n my sis. We got to a side to flag and there is tis grp of teens tt saw us n walked further down e lane to flag cab. Fair enuff. However after a 20min wait w/o cabs. That grp jus walked till in front of us to flag and still try to act cute. Den my fren n i cudn't believe it cos we tot they HAD EYES. Apparently no. Den my sis asked me if she will get hit if she go up to scold dem. HA. I saw a few big sized pple n said maybe, but after i saw them acting cute, i just say go ahead. ha. And my sis walked up to them and start nagging. Den i saw the no-brainers doing sth really stupid tt i cant miss out saying out. When my sis n i walked towards them, i realised they were standin rite at the turning pt of cars near the traffic light. DIaoz...DUmbass. Den my sis said them and they jus giv the "Ehz..wadever" expression. Den cos i was in gd mood tt day, but mouth still itchy, i said sth like "aiyah jie ah, dun stand beside them unless u wan to get bang by a turning car lar. So dumb. We BOOK cab lor. See if they wan to snatch a booked cabby lor. " And after they jus stun abit den giv a bu shuang look but we left le. Ha.

wed forgot le. Thur went check up at CGH. thx sia for the service..waited 5 hrs for test results, see doc, n prescription for medi. haha..LONG LONG LONG. Den after duno went where..forgot le.

Fri was e day my $ burst. Met a usual gang for k lunch n extended e time, after went to watch a movie, den met a few more souls for bowling and after dinner at marina...woah...almost 60-70bucks? hahah...ALOT of fun in A day but alot of cashflow OUT too..haha..oh n watched vcd till sat...

SAt was more budget. Went to ubin to cycle...took bumboat here n back also cheap cheap..Cycled quite a distance and it was fun..haha..butt hurting a lil' tho now. haha..den went for dinner at TM..haha...cartel..wahaha...

den sat din slp alot too..so 2-3 days nv slp..den sun abit sieh..haha..but end up rot at hm. supposed to go buy stuff de but shag le. haha..watched dvd from 12pm to 11.30pm..haha..omg. wad life. hahah..

Yest nite, a pal left 4 china study tour le..yawnz...haha..nt been meeting up since duno when..and he claims its forever my fault one..tho' i dun deny tt. haha. everytime free will ask me out. DEn i free i diam diam..only 1x i asked him out i tink.hahaha...But nvm lar...promised to meet up for activities when he's back. haha. Today i tink 1 npstrings alumni gg off to UK study le. din manage to send him off cos i no energy, but ok lar..at least had last outing wif him n the rest tt day...haha..sometime tis wk, sis n others gg thailand le. Hmm..maybe u will be back too..hmm..duno..or are u extending ur stay there..wadever. but Omg..all travelling. haha..tho' i cant but NVM..go safely come back safely pple! hahahah...sth i yearn but not do now. Its ok. Some other time bah. hek.

Today (Mon), is the 1st day of attachment at NTU!!! Hurray! SO excited!!! My head lar. haha..been working there for sometime becos of FYP le lar..haha..jus tt now go back as attachie nt as proj std only. Which means tt more saikang stuff for fixed hours everyday. haha...Hope i get to conc more on my proj (cos its linked) still. Altho i dun mind doing other stuff. Hope lab is not so crowded. Hope i dun need to stay too late over there....dun forget..its BoonLay n i live in Bedok. Yawnz.hahahah..

Hmm..ok lar..blogged rubbish le. Going to zzz at 2+ i hope so i can wakey at 6.30am le. Wish me luck! =)

PS: Sorry abt jus nw..i noe i did it time n again but cos i really got my reasons...Sorry for not dialling back...sorry for breaking my promise...sorry for letting u wait for 4/5 hrs tho' i noe i cant make it...i tot abt it..and ..sorry. Sorry, cos i still get weak when..when its U. I will get back to u...tml.

2006-08-21T19:04:00.000+08:00

Ok, this is gonna be a NORMAL blog. Stop ranting on depressing stuff or it will really get to me or pple. Pls dun mind if my tots jump ard without links..cos i wrote a post and it got bounced away. so i m rewriting but there's less FEEL to tis post le. =.0

haha. ermz ok, its been a LONG 2 wks of endless silent torture simply becos its the exam wk. haha. I have been trying so hard to study..NOT. wahahaha. Previously my focus for exams are quite clear, cos i know wad i needa do. ehz but now abit de lazy le. Its bad, *nods* I guess tis sem i got pretty outta focus, for stupid reasons.

took most of my exams, quite saddening cos i under-performed. I tink its NOT my fault. (i noe its a lie) haha. But wad's done is done. Cant turn back time, i wouldn't want it either, i WOULD DIE!!! I cant wait to grad! seeing all poly frenz leaving i just want to jump rite out of it now. tink Moving from JC to poly and enduring thru is really energy-draining. hahaha..

As i mentioned before to some pple, 6 semesters to me is indeed too exhausting. 2 sems will be too short to learn everytink. 6 semesters is too tiring, judging from the workload and pace, so 4 sems is the best sia..haha..stop when u noe we gonna start to crawl like a worm instead of fly like e dragon..hahah..oh no, crapz.

Ok, as i was saying, i was trying so hard to study tt i tuned into Mr. Lee's national day rally speech. haha. Interesting i must say. Ever wonder y moral education or wisp evolved? Haha..tune into it. Or any speech u will noe y. haha. Nt saying tt its redundant, in fact, its crucial if we are the ignorant lot. But yeah, luckily we aren't...to me, we are jus the passive lot. Haha, dun wan to tok abt any much of it here, jus want to say tt it was an interesting tok. Rallies sometimes do wonders in mass media influence. =)

As part of the speech, he mentioned sometink abt the environment influencing how and wad we become. But..hmm..wad abt they defining us, yet we defining them at the same time. haha..We are wad the environment is, we are the pple. We made the environment wad it is, so shldn't it be WE define them? Which comes 1st? I duno if u r confused now, but i jus want to make U confused with the chicken and egg theory. haha..Ok, to stop the confusion, jus stick the two phrase together and read it with the national heart-ware context " they define us, we define them" haha...still blur? forget it..hahah..

As of tml, i will be free from the chains of exams! Lotsa tinks i noe are in for me after tt. Attachment...sch events..lotsa cca stuffs and fun fun and MOre fun. hahah..and goody goody...new guitar's arriving soon...! *droolz*

tml..gonna take last exam, go trim hair. hHAHA.. YEah. its not gonna be bushy soon..i cant wait. ^^
"we got to learn how to laugh at ourselves"